scaredikklegoth

My fuzzy baby boy who I loved so dearly died suddenly today. I found him and there was nothing I could do. My partner is devastated, I can't stop crying and the AV is screaming at me. I've never been through grief sober. I don't know if I can do it. I know I don't want to do it. I also know it'll only help tonight and then I'll feel guilty and awful because of the baby too. I'm still grieving my ginger Tom who died two years ago in January. I can't believe this has happened.

I'm heartbroken.

calvinm16

I'm sorry to hear about your cat passing. My brother was killed on his motorcycle last year unexpectedly after a sport bike smashed into the back of him and sent him into some trees. I saw him laying in the casket at only 38 years old. It was after about a month of sobriety and I went straight to the store, grabbed the strongest bottle I could find and drank. The next day I was having thoughts of suicide and probably came close.. Trust me you're better off sober!

All that alcohol is going to do is make your problems worse and prevent you from grieving naturally. We humans are stronger dealing with things naturally than if we just cover up our problems with alcohol or substances.

Darth Paul

I'm very sorry for your loss.I have 5 cats and they are all my babies.

aasharon90

Coming here to share your loss instead
of drinking to numb is best. I'm sorry to
hear of your fur baby as I too lost 2 of mine
several yrs ago due to old age.

Many of us have experienced loss and
have found support within the fellowship
of our recovery program so that we could
remain sober first and foremost, but to also
not be alone during this time.

Remember that it is okay to grief in
a healthy way and celebrate the little
life of your fur baby with us or others.

I was sooooo grateful to have my husband
with me during the loss of my 2 cats because
I had not gone thru anything like that before
and he did. Countless times. His experience,
strengths and hopes passed on to me helped
me mourn or go thru the process without
ever picking up a drink and reset my sobriety
calendar.

So, feel free to share with us anytime
because many of us have gone thru it
and we can support you as you move
forward.

Stay strong.

Maudcat

Very, very sorry., scaredikklegoth.
I have loved and lost many cats, ever since I was a tiny kid.
I’m 65.
It never gets easier to lose a good friend.
I have come to believe that humans live as long as we do so that we can share our lives with more than one cat and dog..
As I type, my big guy, Wes—my avatar— is sitting on my lap.
For some reason, he has drilled his way into my heart and nestled there.
It will be a very sad day for me when he goes.
Hugs.

JeffreyAK

I'm sorry about your kitty. My little pal spent a week in the kitty ICU last month, and for a while it looked like she wouldn't make it (kidney disease) and I cried like a baby. I know I'll be absolutely devastated if she doesn't make it (still very much an open question), but I also know that I would solve absolutely nothing by going back to drinking. I'd be running away from healthy grief, and on top of that I'd be on the road to alcoholic hell. Life events like these are great opportunities for our reptile, our addict voice, to speak up, but we don't have to listen.

biminiblue

So sorry. They definitely leave little pawprints on our heart. I'll never forget any of my companion animals.

Ariesagain

I’m so sorry. My pets are a huge part of my world and I die a little bit every time I lose one.

I can tell you this...I have mourned them drunk and I have mourned them sober and sober is the better way. All drinking does is keep you mired in the worst of the pain.

Sending you a hug.

least

I am so sorry for the loss of your feline friend. Their lives aren't long enough. Sending you big hugs. Drinking will only make things worse.

scaredikklegoth

Thank you. I know drinking isn't the answer, just have my AV waging war on my willpower. I'm so alone during the day but at least I had my little fuzz bear. Now he's dead in a box out of nowhere and I don't know what to do.

Sorry for all your losses. Life is ****.

Obladi

I'm so sorry.

Unfortunately there's nothing to do but to live through this. You can do that...

O

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss.

We're meant to be sad tho. We're sad we grieve and we come out the other side.

Drinking halts that process and leaves the wound red raw, so that after after a little while it will start to sting again and we need to apply more alcohol...

and still the wound won't get a chance to heal, so the process begins again....

I now facing pain is scary and that there's this voice telling you you can;t deal with this sober, but you absolutely can.

It's not pleasant and it's uncomfortable but you'll be OK

D

waynetheking

Deal with the pain. Don't drink under any circumstances. Our pets are dear to us. It's understandable your hurting. It's not necessary to drink over this. What lives, dies. It's life. Take it one day at a time and do the things necessary to work through this. How does your plan allow for the emotional ups and downs? What action is needed in dealing with this? You can't avoid life's problems and expect alcoholism to fix itself. It will never happen this way.
Hang in there and don't drink. It will get better. Just get busy and stay strong.

Hevyn

I will send some prayers up for you to be comforted, scared. Your kitty was your dear friend, and would never want to be the cause of a setback. I know you'll see him again. I'm really glad you posted about what happened - we care.

scaredikklegoth

I was already really struggling so for this to happen on top just makes me feel like giving up. On everything. I can't stop thinking about him and finding him like that. I loved him so much and now he's just dead. I don't know what to do now. I was already stuck in this flat day in and day out, alone most of the time except for having him to snuggle and talk to. I can't cope with this ****.

Hawkeye13

My animals are my kids, so I understand the deep, deep pain and ache you are feeling now.

Just don't give in, because you won't feel better for long, and then you'll feel much worse,
and guilt will be layered on top of your current pain.

You know, it is hard for us drinkers to just be with pain and not try to drown
or surpress it.

I did a lot of crying in the shower, or on hikes, when my wonderful puppy Luna
died unexpectedly and suddenly in her spay surgery a few months ago.

Of course I wanted to drink, but I let the grief come and fully felt it instead.
It wasn't easy--still hurts--but I'm stronger for it and I did not lose my sobriety
over the event, as unexpected and terrible as it was.

You can get through this

least

SoberLeigh

I am so very sorry, le'goth. Our furry friends don't stay with us long enough.

Well done coming here and posting. We will help you through.

SoberLeigh

Love to you, tonisherrell..

Please don't give up. The sober life is so amazing; it doesn't shield us from pain or grief or conflict but the recovery process brings us much better and much healthier coping skills.

You can make it through this without drinking. Lean on us.

Daucuscarota

Hi scaredikklegoth,

You are strong. You can get through this with a clear mind. Have a cup of hot cocoa, watch a movie, and go to bed early. It will be better when you wake up tomorrow morning, and you will be so glad that you did not throw away your sobriety.
Sending you strength and (((hugs))