At 23 days and feeling like my old self
I am not these thoughts - I am the Master of these thoughts.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 134
At 23 days and feeling like my old self
All kinds of stressful situations the past three days and only this evening, as I was taking a long hot shower, did it occur to me that not during any one of those situations did the thought or physical urge to drink appear. This will sound ironic as I am now harping on how I didn't think to drink, but in the context of the moments, the point is, the manifestations of addiction weren't present.
I end work now and drinking doesn't enter my mind; I look forward to my work out and my new book, practicing harp, and those triggers that still are present in my day-to-day life are not triggers as of late.
I had a harp gig this afternoon for a work event; I experienced the typical jitters and nervousness and yet now, remembering it all, I didn't think to drink.
A competitive colleague tried to bate me all day today and I kept in stride.
My internet at home has been spotty and my penny-pinching landlord has been fighting me tooth and nail about upgrading. Feeling helpless and infuriated yesterday but as I recall the evening, the thought of drinking it away didn't even arise.
I am so thankful that my old self - the real me - is coming back. For a while there, I was worried she was going to hide away a lot longer.
I am by no means out of the fog, but for now, I am reveling in the joy and rewards of holding fast during those trying days when drinking was all I wanted to do. I am seeing the light again, tasting fresh air, and I am soaking it all in.
Thank you SR - for everyone's contributions, especially those that I have read that served as a reminder or motivation, and for allowing me to be a supportive presence for a change; to step away from my own challenges long enough to forget them, and help another.
I end work now and drinking doesn't enter my mind; I look forward to my work out and my new book, practicing harp, and those triggers that still are present in my day-to-day life are not triggers as of late.
I had a harp gig this afternoon for a work event; I experienced the typical jitters and nervousness and yet now, remembering it all, I didn't think to drink.
A competitive colleague tried to bate me all day today and I kept in stride.
My internet at home has been spotty and my penny-pinching landlord has been fighting me tooth and nail about upgrading. Feeling helpless and infuriated yesterday but as I recall the evening, the thought of drinking it away didn't even arise.
I am so thankful that my old self - the real me - is coming back. For a while there, I was worried she was going to hide away a lot longer.
I am by no means out of the fog, but for now, I am reveling in the joy and rewards of holding fast during those trying days when drinking was all I wanted to do. I am seeing the light again, tasting fresh air, and I am soaking it all in.
Thank you SR - for everyone's contributions, especially those that I have read that served as a reminder or motivation, and for allowing me to be a supportive presence for a change; to step away from my own challenges long enough to forget them, and help another.
I am not these thoughts - I am the Master of these thoughts.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 134
Scott - it is and I hope to never take it for granted again. It's so great showing up to work without the horrid hangover, the guilt, the shame and anxiety.
Thank you Eagle, I won't say I have the 6 pm cravings licked but they haven't been around as of late, and I hope it stays that way.
Thanks guys for reading and caring. xx
Thank you Eagle, I won't say I have the 6 pm cravings licked but they haven't been around as of late, and I hope it stays that way.
Thanks guys for reading and caring. xx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 114
Congrats on the sober time!
It's great the old triggers are fading out of your life. Just be careful because I'm 105 days in and I've had new triggers developing that I didn't have before. I had the phase in the first 30 days where I felt "normal" again but after I started getting really bad cravings and a few new triggers. One is a rebellious thought of just buying a crate of whiskey from the store I go to. They sit out in the open right in the middle isle of the store. I fantasize about just grabbing the whole crate and checking out with it. WEIRD because I was more of a beer drinker!
Go figure.
Keep up the good work!
It's great the old triggers are fading out of your life. Just be careful because I'm 105 days in and I've had new triggers developing that I didn't have before. I had the phase in the first 30 days where I felt "normal" again but after I started getting really bad cravings and a few new triggers. One is a rebellious thought of just buying a crate of whiskey from the store I go to. They sit out in the open right in the middle isle of the store. I fantasize about just grabbing the whole crate and checking out with it. WEIRD because I was more of a beer drinker!
Go figure.
Keep up the good work!
I am not these thoughts - I am the Master of these thoughts.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 134
Thank you everyone!
While these particularly stressful times are rotten, being able to persevere without even thinking of drinking feels amazing!
Thanks Calvin - trying to stay vigilant and a step ahead of the AV.
While these particularly stressful times are rotten, being able to persevere without even thinking of drinking feels amazing!
Thanks Calvin - trying to stay vigilant and a step ahead of the AV.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
