laur24

I just had to share with you guys.

I can't believe I took so long to do the 4th step, now that I know how rewarding it is! I'm in the process of my 5th and I'm amazed at the revelations.

First revelation came to me this morning-- I'm the one that always needs people to change! I'm the one that isn't emotionally available, and always breaks relationships off after a year, or sabotages in the beginning stages! I'm the one that's not ready for a relationship!

I'm just having these moments of clarity that are so amazing, and I can't wait for the rest to follow

My sponsor and I have been laughing all day about this. It's great!

ScottFromWI

Sounds like things are going very well Laur24, glad to hear it!

Berrybean

Amazing isn't it.
Well done. Your hard work is paying off.

BB

PeacefulWater12

Great work.

I relate to how you are feeling. I had believed situations in my life "just happened". How good to realise my part in creating them.

Liberating.

Done4today

Congrats Luar24,

I hated the 4th step until I did it. Wow it was amazing to realize my part. I am still a very flawed individual but I have a skill to work at making myself better for others.

Grungehead

The 4th and 5th steps would be a huge benefit to anyone, alcoholic or not. Anyone who struggles with the past will most likely struggle in the present and future without sorting the past out. I think that's why even though I was able to put long stretches of sobriety together, that sobriety always seems to be contingent on life being a relatively smooth ride. Unfortunately that's not how life works whether you're an alcoholic or not, and every time a life crisis presented itself I ultimately regressed and eventually started drinking again.

After 23 years in and out of AA and sobriety I was finally beaten down enough to do anything to get sober, including taking the steps. I had taken the first 3 steps multiple times but always balked when it came time to analyzing my past honestly and sharing it with another person. Ironically doing this was the key to freedom from the burdens of alcoholism. Step 9 cemented this freedom and steps 10-12 have given me the tools to stay free.

If anyone here is struggling with their past or struggling with making a plan but are dead set against giving AA a try I would suggest doing a search on Jordan Peterson and the "self authoring" program he has come up with. It is basically a formal way to formulate a PLAN by analyzing your past and present, and then formulating a plan to get to where you want to be in the future. It does cost money, and no I am not affiliated with him in any way (just a fan who has benefited from his philosophy after discovering him on youtube). I also found it interesting that Carl Jung's writings were a big influence on Dr. Peterson as well as on Bill Wilson (founder of AA).