Lpg

Morning guys,
Im meant to have my works Xmas night out on Saturday, Im planning on going to the meal part and taking the car and leaving right after the meal.
The problem is I know my workmates will moan and say this that and the other to try and get me to drink. I don't know if it's too early for me to be trying this, I feel good and confident I won't drink.
Any advice would be great I don't know if it's too risky so early on in being sober?
Thanks lpg

PeacefulWater12

What worked for me was that I gave my quit top priority. I protected it by not allowing myself in situations that might threaten it. I said no thanks to events or being around certain people that might cause me a problem.

Berrybean

Well, being true to yourself is the main thing. If you need to invent a course of antibiotics that you can't drink with, or a relative that your picking up from the airport... well, you won't be the first to do so.

You are likely to be surprised as well about another few things that a lot of us have found in this situation....

1 - others are a lot less interested in what we drink than we expect (unless WE talk about it or it affects them directly in some way)

2 - other people don't drink like you might think / expect / remember

3 - drunk people are really boring (amazing - I was always so sure that alcohol makes me wittier, prettier and tittier !!!)

4 - a good night out stays that way when we cut it short rather than drag it out



BUT, the world won't end if you decide to cut your losses and give it a miss. (I hear there's been a nasty bug going round).

BB

Dee74

Hi lpg

I stayed away from things like that for a long time. Nothing was more important than my recovery.

I stayed away until I was sure I wanted to stay sober and I preferred being that way.

I might have been over cautious but that dilligence I paid then is still paying off over a decade later

what ever you decide, choose wisely....whats your priority?

D

Bunny211

I echo the others. For the first solid year to 18 months I stayed far away from festivities that involved drinking. Tell them you came down with the stomach bug! Who cares....your sobriety is MOST important!! Sobriety ......or early death. Doesn't seem like much of a choice to me.

Stayingsassy

I’m doing the same thing for my husband’s work Xmas party: Just the dinner. He may have to get a ride home, because I won’t stay for all of it. Or I’ll come back and pick him up since it’s not far from home...though he never gets drunk anyway.

I just draw a hard line in the sand with no drinking, whether it’s easy or hard. There’s no reason to hang out with drunk people anyway.

ScottFromWI

Going just for the dinner is a good idea for certain. Just remember that it's perfectly acceptable to not go to the party at all if you don't feel up to it. People miss these kinds of things for all sorts of reasons - conflicts with other events, travel out of town, kids' events, etc. If you have any doubts at all just don't go - it's not worth it.

MindfulMan

Have an exit plan in place. You can always beg off after dinner by saying you don't feel great.

Or make an excuse and skip it.

Lpg

Hey everyone thanks for the replys. I was going to give it a miss but my boss reminded me when he told me a staff member had left and he had paid for her meal for th staff night out (totally left my mind)
Decided to go for the meal, as it's paid for and leave right after. Taking my car and also looking after mother in laws dog so definitely need to leave soon after.

If I'm not feeling upto it on the day I may give it a miss and say I'm not feeling well and cover the meal cost so I don't feel bad about anyone losing money. I'll know when I leave work if im strong enough to go as that's right about when the cravings will kick in.
Lpg

Done4today

Great job LPG,

sounds like you have a solid plan. Remember your sobriety is priority and the more you plan like this the easier these situations become to cope with.

waynetheking

Yep, don't go if you feel uncomfortable around alcohol and people who enjoy drinking. It's not important. What is important is your sobriety. If you have any doubts don't go. I recommend not lying about it. If anyone ask tell them you quit drinking and you don't feel like partying right now. Be honest. Don't cover up your alcoholism. It's not necessary. Your making a decision right now to begin a new life. You have quit drinking. As an alcoholic your beating the odds of survival. Your disease is in remission. Be proud of your sobriety. Big deal if people know about it. I will tell you every time that acceptance is the key here. And by not hiding it, your telling yourself it's ok to be who I am. If your embarrassed or craving alcohol then don't put yourself in these situations. As time goes on you'll understand and be less intimidated by these goofy social events that draw people to drink.
Hang in there and don't drink. It's never an option. Never.

scaredikklegoth

Good luck and I hope you have a good time. Have an exit plan in place just in case and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. Your sobriety comes first

Lpg

Thanks guys. Yeah I'll know by my mood and the voice will appear on the drive home from work if it think it's too risky to go. If that's the case I WILL NOT go, my partner is away this weekend coming too, which is usually when I would take advantage and get as much drinking done as possible.

I feel strong I'm beginning to feel the perks on my physical and mental state each day is better I'm not prepared to go backwards. I have just told workmates I can't drink nothing more nothing less. Not sure what to say on the matter I feel embarrassed.
Lpg

Done4today

LPG,

You don't have to say anything on the matter. I just told people I wasn't drinking anymore or tonight or now. My sobriety and my reasons for sobriety are mine. I learned about living amends and the people around me would recognize the changes before me as long as I worked on me and my sobriety. In my experience within 30-45 days I had people telling me how much better I looked. I had a friend that I confided in early about going to AA, tell me that he can see my soul glowing.