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Not drinking is very easy

Old 11-27-2017, 04:06 PM
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Not drinking is very easy

5 weeks again, back in the groove of not drinking feels natural and the 'old me' is back.
it was just a matter of stringing a few days together with a determined mindset to not drink, and to eat if i had a craving to drink,

- no matter what eat something before ever ever ever driving to the beer store
- eat first then if i still had a craving i would give myself permission to go .. but the AV never survives a sammich and a glass of milk - just a good way to shut the AV up, now i hardly hear it at all.

That's it folks, HALT is all i really need. HALT works.





.


now let the peanut gallery psychoanalysis begin.
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Old 11-27-2017, 04:12 PM
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bob I can agree.... I think the HALT emotions got me drinking way too often. Definitely something I am watching out for now.
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Old 11-27-2017, 04:27 PM
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Yes eating is always a good thing to reduce cravings. I'm just curious though, do you have a back up plan as well?
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Old 11-27-2017, 04:54 PM
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First I want to say congrats of 5 weeks. That's amazing. You have managed to find a way that works for you and that's great.
But IMHO, it's just not that easy for some. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you feel if people were less weak and stronger in their convictions to not drink, than that would be enough.
I think most people need support to not only quit drinking, but in helping them deal with the reasons why they drank in the first place. Many people drink to deal with stressors. How are these people suppose to deal with why their drinking, put a cork in the bottle and say bring it on. I just think there's more to quitting than just quitting, but I'm glad you found a way that works for you. Nice going!! John
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Old 11-27-2017, 04:56 PM
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Congratulations, Bob!
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Old 11-27-2017, 04:58 PM
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I wish this would work for me! But I really have to watch what I eat and count calories in order not to gain weight.
I can’t sub food in all the time.
I was doing it and gained so much weight. Being obese is just as bad as drinking.
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Old 11-27-2017, 05:55 PM
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I was extremely obese at one time. Trust me............being a drunk is FAR worse than being fat!
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Old 11-27-2017, 08:19 PM
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Glad it's working for you Bob. As others have mentioned there are many here on SR who need to do a lot more for their recovery than eating and "stringing a few days together". Respecting that is a core value of SR.
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Old 11-27-2017, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by 2muchpain View Post
First I want to say congrats of 5 weeks. That's amazing. You have managed to find a way that works for you and that's great.
But IMHO, it's just not that easy for some. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you feel if people were less weak and stronger in their convictions to not drink, than that would be enough.
I think most people need support to not only quit drinking, but in helping them deal with the reasons why they drank in the first place. Many people drink to deal with stressors. How are these people suppose to deal with why their drinking, put a cork in the bottle and say bring it on. I just think there's more to quitting than just quitting, but I'm glad you found a way that works for you. Nice going!! John
thanks 2muchpain. After many years of trying to think my way out, going to therapy with lousy results, feeling emotional, angry etc, the least helpful thing to quit drinking is getting into the muck that makes me want to drink, Logic didn't get me into this place and logical thinking ain't going to get me out. There's only one way to the end of jungle trail, one step at a time forward, minimize looking back. Maybe in the clear where it's safe it's time to look back . But for me I'm fed up with looking back - it makes me feel lousy.

tomorrow is gone i can't fix it, i can't change it, today is what i have.

what i know does work is a health scare, I've met people in some free alcohol counselling programs that attended because weeks before they were throwing up blood, coughing up blood, crapping out blood... and rushed to emergency depts where doctors say if u drink again u will die. That ends your drinking faster than analysis and pussyfooting around the problem. you don't want to get to that point, ... and these were high functioning professionals , late 30s and 40s.

you really have to change your thinking and just say, today is the end.

i am going to have to quit one day, and i may as well get that day over with asap and get on with my life rather than prolonging the agony of starting and stopping and moderating . . . uggg.


Originally Posted by Maudcat View Post
Congratulations, Bob!
thanks Maudcat !

Originally Posted by Anarock View Post
I wish this would work for me! But I really have to watch what I eat and count calories in order not to gain weight.
I can’t sub food in all the time.
I was doing it and gained so much weight. Being obese is just as bad as drinking.
i am a bit on the obese side now but it's way more important to not drink at all and then i can eat healthier along the way, more salads, more celery and carrot sticks as snaks to fend of hunger but not drinking means saving 300-500 calories per drink per day, and drinking - the sugar messes with metabolism and contributes to type 2 diabetes.
Eating more for a few weeks to get on the right path is win - win.

not drinking means i get out walking more, and then short walks turn into 1 hour walks, and then they get faster... my diet gets better, i feel better, i want to eat better food, my metabolism increases i start to lose weight.... a lot of wins there. maybe soon i'll be back jogging again.


I don't think multiquote worked completely... hmm

ok kids get back on the wagon if you are not already there.

one day. don't drink today.
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:01 PM
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My recovery plan, among many other things, includes eating every two hours throughout the day to keep my blood sugar up and stable. Many alcoholics are hypoglycemic, and some researchers have claimed that low blood sugar contributes to relapse. That’s definitely the case with me. I have stocked both my car and office with healthy snacks and shakes so I never have to get a sugar low and develop the alcohol craving. It doesn’t mean I’ll necessarily eat more calories, just space them out throughout the day.
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:27 PM
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I think having instant access to anything other than the bottle when the craving hits is a good plan: exercise, your sponsor's number on speed dial, chocolate, a leisurely drive, a journal.

The next battle for me once the AV lets up and starts to drift to sleep (at 21 days now), is remembering that one drink will lead me back to Hell again. If I had just remembered that and believed it without a shadow of doubt, I wouldn't have lost those 3 hard earned years.

Humility. Acceptance. Resolve. Alternatives at the ready.

Thank you for sharing!
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Anarock View Post
I wish this would work for me! But I really have to watch what I eat and count calories in order not to gain weight.
I can’t sub food in all the time.
I was doing it and gained so much weight. Being obese is just as bad as drinking.
I have this problem as well, but I can trace all of my alcohol cravings to hunger. If that’s the case for you then that has to be worked out. Drugs and alcohol aren’t a solution to avoid eating.

Drink instead of eating and you’ll end up yellow, swollen and bleeding internally in the hospital wishing you could qualify for a liver transplant. Drug instead of eating you wind up dead.

The eating has to be figured out. If you have to restrict so much that you end up drinking, you have to figure out how to boost your metabolism so you can eat enough, exercise does make a difference.

I have to work out a lot in order to be able to eat enough to not crave alcohol while still avoiding weight gain. I gain weight easily, on less food than most people so I have to figure out the amount and type of activity to offset that. It’s a lot of weight training and cardio. Is that a difficult balance? Yes, but my life depends on it.
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Bob4x4 View Post
thanks 2muchpain. After many years of trying to think my way out, going to therapy with lousy results, feeling emotional, angry etc, the least helpful thing to quit drinking is getting into the muck that makes me want to drink, Logic didn't get me into this place and logical thinking ain't going to get me out. There's only one way to the end of jungle trail, one step at a time forward, minimize looking back. Maybe in the clear where it's safe it's time to look back . But for me I'm fed up with looking back - it makes me feel lousy.

tomorrow is gone i can't fix it, i can't change it, today is what i have.

what i know does work is a health scare, I've met people in some free alcohol counselling programs that attended because weeks before they were throwing up blood, coughing up blood, crapping out blood... and rushed to emergency depts where doctors say if u drink again u will die. That ends your drinking faster than analysis and pussyfooting around the problem. you don't want to get to that point, ... and these were high functioning professionals , late 30s and 40s.

you really have to change your thinking and just say, today is the end.
I agree with this. The degree of pain at the end of the drinking makes a huge difference. It got bad for me. When I think of drinking now, it takes me back to that last weekend I drank and the choice is pretty damned simple. How do I avoid that happening again? Just say no to a beverage? Done! Trade off completely worth it.
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Old 11-28-2017, 02:20 AM
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What about when HALT doesn't work? That day is highly likely to arrive - and I say that respectfully from 21+ mo sober- and having many other tools in my belt (I do "check in" with HALT every morning, assessing everything from sleep to diet to exercise, from the day before) is CRITICAL.

Happy for you on 5 weeks. That was just the beginning for me, and I have learned so much more through my (Very) dedicated AA program that has changed (continues to change) my entire life and worldview as a recovered alcoholic. Others find success with different methods. The key thing we have in common is an active program with multiple facets.

Also - said respectfully- I have viewed giving advice or proclaiming anything like "I've got this figured out!" is toying with disaster.

Keep going and learning.
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Old 11-28-2017, 07:17 AM
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That is great.
For me, not drinking was VERY, VERY hard for a solid 8-10 months. I thought about booze constantly, I dreamt about it, I would sit in AA meetings and DREAM about putting a glass to my lips, I had to sit on my hands sometimes and say "don't drink, don't you f----ing drink!" but I just did NOT give in because I believed that one day the obsession would be removed...which has come to be true.

For some people it is VERY VERY hard NOT to drink. That was the case for me. But I did it. And if I can do it...anyone can!
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Old 11-28-2017, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by August252015 View Post
What about when HALT doesn't work? That day is highly likely to arrive - and I say that respectfully from 21+ mo sober- and having many other tools in my belt (I do "check in" with HALT every morning, assessing everything from sleep to diet to exercise, from the day before) is CRITICAL.

Happy for you on 5 weeks. That was just the beginning for me, and I have learned so much more through my (Very) dedicated AA program that has changed (continues to change) my entire life and worldview as a recovered alcoholic. Others find success with different methods. The key thing we have in common is an active program with multiple facets.

Also - said respectfully- I have viewed giving advice or proclaiming anything like "I've got this figured out!" is toying with disaster.

Keep going and learning.
THIS^^^^

Good job on the five weeks! but...you're probably still on the pink cloud.

It may be that you've flipped a switch. I did as well, but it took a lot more than what you describe. And I don't trust just practicing HALT avoidance, although hangry is definitely a bad thing.

You WILL get a strong craving at some point. You should have a plan in place and some sort of sobriety program. AA didn't work for me, it's not for everybody, but I would strongly suggest SOME sort of structured group and a recovery plan.

Willpower alone is rarely sufficient.
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Old 11-28-2017, 12:43 PM
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The turning point for me was when I stopped trying to manage my AV and just accepted that sometimes IT would be active and sometimes IT would be dormant. HALT, triggers, resentments, none of it mattered anymore because I learned to see that that voice was totally impotent without me to obey IT and comply. I saw that it would only be as hard as I made it out to be by struggling against that desire. I just let the desire be and it fades away on its own. I've had the thoughts feel like they were overwhelming, like a wave that crashed into me, very powerful, and all I did was take note that it was happening and allow it to pass. That desire may come and go for the rest of my life. 20 years may go by and I may still occasionally get a smell of beer and have a physical reaction to it, doesn't matter one bit when it comes to my Big Plan to never drink again and never change my mind. I don't think the AV is something that can be managed, I think it's something we have to learn to live comfortably with.
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Old 11-28-2017, 02:10 PM
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Originally Posted by zenchaser View Post
The turning point for me was when I stopped trying to manage my AV and just accepted that sometimes IT would be active and sometimes IT would be dormant. HALT, triggers, resentments, none of it mattered anymore because I learned to see that that voice was totally impotent without me to obey IT and comply. I saw that it would only be as hard as I made it out to be by struggling against that desire. I just let the desire be and it fades away on its own. I've had the thoughts feel like they were overwhelming, like a wave that crashed into me, very powerful, and all I did was take note that it was happening and allow it to pass. That desire may come and go for the rest of my life. 20 years may go by and I may still occasionally get a smell of beer and have a physical reaction to it, doesn't matter one bit when it comes to my Big Plan to never drink again and never change my mind. I don't think the AV is something that can be managed, I think it's something we have to learn to live comfortably with.
This is what I’ve done so far. Acceptance that I am powerless over alcohol, so I do not take a drink no matter what, and that I will crave alcohol for the rest of my life in varying degrees, so learning to diffuse the drama and urgency of each craving is my process. The cravings must be treated as a mundane and normal part of life that I work through each time, they must recognized but never taken seriously. The drinking is done. There is no arguing, negotiating with, or considering a drink. The craving process for me is an important one. I don’t ignore a craving, I notice, and do the work to finish it. Usually it is done within minutes and does not come up again for the rest of that day. But like I must finish my workouts, I must put off the desire to eat sweets, I must brush my teeth: I must contend with, and work to set to rest, all alcohol cravings.

They are not frequent for me. I’d say that minor ones come up maybe 1-2 times each 24 hour period.
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