behindblueyes

Hello friends. I sit here typing this sober, happy, and somewhat (very) annoyed.

Every year, our local town has a holiday festival. Lots of kids, dry town, and family-oriented. I went with a few friends. Somehow, a few of the townspeople got ahold of liquor and wine and were drinking on the street (illegal). They are rich so police turn their heads.

Some old timer, alcoholic (not to offend) saw me. He and I used to drink together, hard. Major age difference.

I was with my friends and we were all sober. The old timer was somehow drunk. He asked us to drink with him and we all refused. He then decided to bring up a story about how I humiliated myself at a local bar once by getting extremely intoxicated, so intoxicated that the bartender and everyone were shocked by my actions (I do not remember the night).

My friends drink. I do not. I told him immediately to stop his story. He went on to tell that they were all really concerned. So concerned that I blacked out and passed out at the bar. While he was telling this story, I walked away and said goodbye to them, leaving.

He ruined the entire night and festival by re-hashing my old lifestyle. My one friend asked why I just left like that. I don't want to hear those stories as I am not like that anymore. What was the point in this? Was it really necessary with a big audience?

Also, side note, this man is about 85 and drunk all day every day. I don't even think he will remember.

ScottFromWI

Glad you are sober and happy ( for the most part! ) blueeyes. Yep, drunks will say anything unfortunately. But at the end of the day no one will likely remember or care what he said anyway so I wouldn't sweat it at all.

feldknocker

Sorry you had this experience. This experience should show you how far you’ve come. You were once side-by-side with this guy and now you’re a million miles away from that. Obviously you can’t control what an inebriated person says. But you can control how you respond. From what it sounds like, you did that very well. If the friends you were with are true friends, they will feel proud of how you have changes your life.

Dee74

I think it's Eleanor Roosevelt who said 'no one can make you feel inferior without your consent'.

You've worked hard to stay sober and to leave that old life behind.

No matter how many war stories old drinking buddies can dredge up, thats not you anymore.

Try and leave it in the past, where it belongs

D

Dave42001

Sorry you had to deal with this issue, you did the right thing in leaving..

There’s a guy at my club and he always says in regards to these people, they come in all flavors as we all know.. “They’re not doing it to you, they’re just doing it!”

Kudos on your soberity!! Glad you left the area!! Wishing you the best!!

Stayingsassy

Ugh. There is nothing worse in sobriety than hearing your own drunk stories from someone else. It’s somewhat better that it wasn’t from a source anyone takes seriously but still. Honestly I just want everyone to let our past drunk selves GO, I think people feel intimidated by our sobriety sometimes and want to remind us that we used to be screw ups. Scott is right though. It’s best to be glad you aren’t that person anymore and that won’t be happening again.

Stronger2017

I know how you feel but don’t let that guy’s rudeness get you down. He’s not worth it.

Purplrks3647

Oh, man I can't even imagine the stories I would hear about myself from others ~ good posts from everyone here; I second all of them.....

He's obviously insecure about losing his "drinking buddy" ~ you did the right thing! Kudos

behindblueyes

I think he just saw a group of girls to impress and went with it. Also, he was angry at the fact that all of us said no to drinking and he kept pushing the alcohol.

My friends stayed with him. I heard him continue his story as I was walking away. I will probably never see him again, or at his funeral sadly.

aasharon90

Continue to pray for those still sick
in their addiction and enjoy the
holiday season sober.

Don't let anyone steal your sober
joy away from you.

tomsteve

amen to that!
bring up my past actions- ill probably laugh and tell ya some ya didnt know of. then add,"dam im glad im not that man anymore."
i can do that today because im not that person. i dont condone my past behavior but im not afraid or embarrassed by it- not tryin to run from my past any more

Eaglelizard

The title of this thread could be a Frank Zappa song. I like Tomsteve's "not trying to run from my past" comment. I used to be extremely embarrassed by things like this, and there is a rich archive to work with. Now slightly embarrassed and annoyed. Hoping in another year maybe I'll be completely blasé and capable of a snappy comeback to boot.

August252015

^^^Yes!

AAPJ

You are only humiliated if you let yourself be humiliated.

Hawkeye13

Yes, I'm with tomsteve here.
You aren't your past--you have learned and grown from it
and don't let anyone "shame" you --that's a choice to give away your power
to them so just don't do it.

I don't bring up my past, because I am a different person now,
but if someone mentions something, or tells a story, I laugh and say
"that's a fact--glad I moved on" because you know,
most people telling stories like that have a few of their own.

You've done great BBE--you are a fine parent, working your recovery,
and you have much to be proud of, including the growth from your past.
You aren't some boring "vanilla" person given everything who never had
to work or learn to survive. You overcame things and now you are thriving.
Own it and be proud girl

Berrybean

Sorry your day was spoilt.

Try to find something good to come from it though, even if it is just that it has been a great reminder of how much your life has changed since the days he was reminising about.

Also, who knows - perhaps one of your friends needed to hve that before and after demonstrated so that they will know that they can address their own drinking. God will use us to help others even without us knowing sometimes. Right now you could be someones inspiration to aim for sobriety because of what that man said, and you'll never know it. You and your sobriety are, after all, quite inspirational.

Chin up chicka.

BB

Stayingsassy

I’m not a believer in God. But I found that statement really beautiful and it led to some comforting thoughts, thanks berrybean.

Berrybean

I remember my first time going to a new (for me) AA meeting. I got very lost and arrived late. I'm really bad at walking in anywhere late. I stood and prayed "i can't walk in alone God. Please send someone to help me get through that door." A minute later a burly man with a face like a bag of spuds appeared." He said he'd heard someone arrive and though he'd pop out and check. I've sat in that meeting over a hundred times and never once been able to hear anyone turn up. I always think of that man as an answer to my prayer. He just laughs but I really did need to get through that door and it was such a plea that I sent up that night.

Maybe it was a coincidence but I get a better quality of coincidences when I pray xx

waynetheking

He's a friendly reminder from God not to drink. That's how I see it!

Doug39

We can't run from our past. I tell these types of stories at AA meetings about myself all the time - it keeps me honest.

This morning I revealed some real embarrassing stuff to a room full of 50 alcoholics. Sure, I understand the people in AA are different that your "normal" friends but who cares - you made some mistakes in the past - own up to them and move forward.