A new way of life.
 

I'm an alcoholic.
I put my relationship with my family at risk over my drinking, I put my job at risk as well as my relationship with the woman I love. It ruined my finances. It ruined my body. It made me do things I regret to this day. But I kept drinking again and again. Why? Because I'm alcoholic.
I have never considered quitting until now, because I see clearly what I can and will lose if I continue.
I'm a binge drinker, one drink turns into 17 or 18.
I haven't had a drink for the last couple of weeks after a wake up call, I don't experience physical withdrawal but I miss the feeling.
What do you guys think I should do to make sure I stay sober? What helped you most in your recovery?

:tyou

Welcome anewsoberme! Thanks for posting. You will gets lots of nonjudgmental support here. To answer your question, for me, two things were the biggest key to my recovery: (1) a written recovery plan, and (2) exercise. Good luck, my friend. A sober life is pretty damn fantastic.

You've done the first step. Recognizing that you have a problem and making a commitment to quitting.

My suggestion is to make a plan to stay that way. There are tons of resources on this forum that you can explore to learn more about your options. AA/12 Step, secular recovery programs, psychiatric intervention, cognitive group therapy, inpatient rehab, outpatient programs, psychotherapy. Plus we're here to help.

A sobriety plan is often the difference between success and relapse.

You cannot do this alone. That's the first thing I learned.

Going to AA. I couldn't stop on my own, I needed the support of other alcoholics who had been where I was. I saw clearly that if I didn't stop drinking I would die so it gave me the gift of desperation, to take suggestions I didn't understand or like, to get a sponsor. I replaced daily drinking with meetings. Some 26 years later my life is transformed, not always great but at least I have peace of mind. A big hug.

I did it without any 12 step, not saying that you shouldn't use a 12 step but my story is just to show my way of doing it. I have been sober now for more than four years and a 30 year career with drinking.

I quit numerous times over the years and stayed sober for one whole year back in 1996. I then began drinking again and continued until 2013. Why I don't know. I just picked it up again. I thought I could handle it I guess. What did I do different this time? Well, for me it meant taking a mental inventory and ask myself. Do I want to continue down this road of misery? Potentially loosing my marriage, job, freedom, health etc. Did I really enjoy the company I was keeping. Friends who were no more than drinking buddies who wouldn't recognize you outside a bar. Did I want to continue with declining health and increasing anxiety. Did I want to be controlled by the bottle and constantly thinking where and when my next drink would come my way. Go home from work and try to hide from my wife that I stopped at the bar for an hour and a half before she got home and gulped down four to five beers and then drive drunk. Well, I wasn't drunk since I had a high tolerance and could function, but as you know, no one should drive with that kind of blood alcohol level. The answer to all this was no. I was sick and tired of this lifestyle and I decided to quit once and for all and the BIG DIFFERENC. I did it for me not for my wife or anyone else. I truly wanted this. After dozens of failed attempts before that fateful day. Guess what? It worked. I haven't touched the stuff since July 20, 2013. I am a free man and I have never felt better or got more accomplished since I quit. Did this mean that all my problems went away and every day is sunshine.?No far from it, but like any spiritual person will tell you. It gave me the strength and a new will to live through any obstacles coming my way. I do have to work on this mental stuff a lot and always play the tape in my head. What would happen if I start drinking. We all know the answer to that. I will start nice and slow. I could probably enjoy and have fun with alcohol for maybe a month or even two. Then gradually my inner addictive voice will say. You got this, you can do this. There's no reason to call yourself an alcoholic anymore. Before long I would be back at it full force. Driving drunk, miserable hangovers and anxiety with financial problems like a letter in the mail. I say, choose life over the miserable experience of drinking. All these so called social drinkers are very seldom healthy drinkers. Not sure there's such a thing, but that's a debate for another day. Drinking to me is nothing but an endless prison sentence with no release date. Good luck to you and do this mental exercise and see if it could work for you. It won't cost a thing to try.

What helped me most in early sobriety was gratitude. I got in the habit of being grateful for my blessings and it changed my attitude for the better. :)

I also came to the point where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. :)

Making a firm 100% commitment to never drinking again, no matter what. In previous attempts at quitting, they were just that, I was trying. For sobriety to stick you have to follow the wise words of Yoda, "Do. Or do not. There is no try." :)

I tried everything listed above except AA, and none of it worked. Then I went to AA as a last resort, and have been sober ever since, coming up 38 years when I didnt think I would last 38 days. Never even got near 38 days with other methods, except when locked up in the loony bin.

My advice: Try everything above and anything else you can think of, and if none of that works, go to AA. There is a flaw in that plan as you still have a lot to lose if it takes to long to find something that works.

Welcome to SR, anew sobers; you have come to a great place for support, understanding and encouragement.

I would suggest formulating a Plan for sobriety.

I will attach a link to a very good SR thread regarding the
Importance of a Plan in a minute.

As promised:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst

Stay close; we are here for you

hi and welcome anewsoberme :)
This community really helped me turn things around - I know we can help you too :)

What exactly is the feeling you're missing?

D

Welcome and another vote for AA. It's free. Consider checking out a few meetings. You don't have to agree with or to buy into everything you hear. However, it's a sober environment with other people who are working to stay sober. It's worth a shot.

Good luck.

Welcome!

1. Have faith in yourself and in your own willpower.
2. Maintain a level head and a positive attitude. Emotions tend to be hypersensitive early on, overreaction can trigger setbacks aka relapses.
3. Set some clear and obtainable goals for your sobriety and self affirm to maintain your progress.
4. Find a support group that suites you and you feel like you fit in, not all groups are created equal.
5. Beware of substitute addictions.
6. Reward your success.
7. Know your audience when you feel the need to spill your guts. People are people and some are pricks. In not so many words be careful to whom you reveal your secrets to if your trying to keep things on the down low.

Build a new life in recovery--start some new hobbies, spend time in Nature,
do something you enjoy for no other purpose but to enjoy it.

Help others--maybe connect with a group who does outreach or service
of some type.

Be kind to yourself, and acknowledge when you do something well.
Be grateful for sobriety and the life you have.

That all works for me :)

Try praying. It works for me.

It gets better. So much better.

I have 11 months and AA has worked for me so far!

Great posts here.

If I had to say one thing it would be acceptance. I can do anything, but I can't drink, and I accept that.

Great Post!

I, also, only got sober when it was what I truly wanted.