Tiredofthepain

One of the most horrible days I have ever had at work, not like the day before. A new boss (again), another change to how everything is to be done (again). Reprimanded in front of other people for doing exactly what my previous supervisor had told me to do. So tired of Mr. Toad's wild ride at work. Managed to get home without stopping. Once home the kitchen is dirty - again. The boys are in their rooms - again. So tiring. Sitting here staring at my keys and purse - relief is a mere 10 minutes away, then after a while I won't care about any of this.

Grungehead

Until tomorrow morning when you still have to deal with the new boss, but add a hangover, guilt and remorse on top of it.

Opivotal

Wow, what a lousy excuse for a boss. Reprimanding anyone in front of other people is belittling. I'm sorry that happened to you, Tiredofthepain.

Don't drink, nothing good can come from it. I never regretted waking up sober. Can't say the same for drinking.

ScottFromWI

That's complete BS being fed to you by your addiction Tired. Your username itself tells you exactly what you'll get if you take that 10 minute drive. More pain, more shame, and a hangover would be the best case scenario.

Coming here first is a great idea though. You have a lot of people here who understand what it feels like right now, but we also know what happens if we make the choice to drink...because we've done it too. Spend some time here, get something to eat, drink some water, watch a movie, do anything but drink.

scaredikklegoth

I'm sorry you had such a bad day. Your boss sounds like an unprofessional arse.

The above replies are spot on. Drinking tonight will do nothing but make you feel awful in the morning when all your problems will still be there but now with more piled on top. Be strong. You know booze isn't really the answer and you'll feel so terribly ashamed tomorrow.

Stayingsassy

Instead of getting wine, ask the boys to do the dishes and clean up their mess in the kitchen.

Option one piles on another problem, option 2 takes care of a problem.

waynetheking

That's it, do the same old thing that isn't working and hope it does this time?
Only you can make change happen. You gotta start somewhere. We all have bad days at work. Not worth drinking over. You think it releases stress. In actuality it causes MORE stress in your life. You have to stay sober long enough to realise this. Otherwise you'll remain stuck in alcoholism and eventually loose everything. Possibly your life.
I hope you make it.
We're here for ya.

Tiredofthepain

Just had a long chat with a friend on here. Feel so much better and no booze. Thanks for the support.

scaredikklegoth

Excellent!

SteelRes211

Crummy bosses will come and go but the ramifications of chronic drinking to run from all of life's stressors creates more problems X 10. Just ask anybody on this forum.

As far as the new boss goes take all in with a smile and plot your exit if your current position becomes unbearable. Do not ever let a jerk moron boss stand in the way of you maintaining sobriety.

Good luck to you.

Bob4x4

The end of the work day craving is THE single most predictable booze craving in the book.

If quitting time is 5pm then make sure you eat a sandwich , like a tuna sandwich, or a sub, at 4:30pm .. if you have to make one the day before, or buy extra food at lunch it doesn't matter you need food before you drive home - this will keep your car from driving itself to the store where the booze is.

NYCDoglvr

So think through the drink. Is there any way possible that getting drunk will improve things? So you have a bad day and got drunk too. Will that feel better? What we alcoholics have a hard time understanding that feelings change, moods pass, on their own. Tomorrow is another day.

ForestFrenzy

I am so sorry because I know exactly how this feels; I have been under the direction of a literal narcissist's direction for over a year now and after many, many people complaining (he even caused a lawsuit), upper management is only now but finally starting to see the light.

Replaying the events and feeling the pain again doesn't do you any good, but I know it's hard to turn off. I think that was another factor that weakened my own resolve, so with that empathy in hand let me say: I know it's very tempting. But the relief is only temporary and you will be back at work with your jerk boss again. Drinking isn't the solution - don't start the pattern of drinking every time your boss ticks you off. Pretty soon you won't need a reason anymore.

A really good mindful exercise:

Know that our mind can and likes to time travel - in the past, to the future, to and fro. But one end it doesn't matter anymore and on the other are just illusions. The way to root your mind in the present is to let your body be an anchor and keep your thoughts aligned in the present long enough to reroute your mind. So try this on:

Go to a quiet place where you know you won't be disturbed and if you can, lie down or situate yourself so you are relaxed. Close your eyes and start to breathe evenly. Count your breaths; feel as your pulse steadies, and your tummy rises and falls, while still counting. Try and listen to your heart beat while still counting. Do this for as long as it takes to calm yourself and your mind to come back to the present. If you don't like counting, you can try a mantra like "present only" in rhythm with your breath/pulse.

Finally, take heart that people like your boss expose themselves eventually. Eventually they will hang themselves...What matters now is that you design methods and secure tools in your arsenal to deal with challenges such as this.

ForestFrenzy

"What we alcoholics have a hard time understanding that feelings change, moods pass, on their own. Tomorrow is another day." AMEN to that NYC.

After three years sober, my inability and weak back bone to deal with life was GLARING. I could not live and let live, let things go, be patient and tempered and wait for the mood and the shadows to pass. This is the pivotal point around which my own sobriety will revolve. Thank you for putting into words so succinctly, matter of fact, and sensitively.

MindfulMan

True, but this can take years. People like this often ingratiate themselves with upper management, to the point where they're pretty invulnerable. In the meantime, people that report to them suffer, sometimes horribly.

No job is worth not only your sobriety, but your mental health. If in this situation, if at all possible, quietly start planning your exit. This falls into accepting things you cannot change. Leaving is your only option to change the things you can.