KAD

It's that time of year again. Fall and Winter are always rough for me. In my part of the world, this time of the year brings with it fewer daylight hours (exacerbated by DST), colder temps, and more rainy days. With it, invariably, comes depression. It's a yearly battle for me. I work indoors but do try to get outside in the sunlight at some point everyday. I know of the connection between lack of sunlight and depression.

I'm just over 2 1/2 years sober and have no desire to drink over this or anything else, but sometimes I just feel very low and out of sorts. I feel suffocated by it sometimes, and very fearful, especially in the middle of the night. I have morbid thoughts about death and dying, but have no desire to do harm to myself. I am single and live alone, as well, so other than AA meetings and friends I chat with online, it's usually just me, myself, and I.

I'm sure there must be others here who deal with this issue, as well. Maybe you are living in circumstances similar to mine. I'm interested in hearing other ways people cope with this nagging, gloomy visitor that comes around every year.

ScottFromWI

My wife deals with SAD and I notice some changes myself too, although my main issue is anxiety.

One thing that helps me is having a "natural" light in my workplace instead of the cold flourescents. Another thing that has helped me tremendously with anxiety that might help with SAD too is the concept of mindfulness and meditation. There is a lot of great reading out there and guided meditation audio/video on places like youtube.

scaredikklegoth

As my name may suggest, I'm a bit of a goth so this has never affected me. However, I have a friend who suffers from SAD so she dreads this time of year. Having a natural light simulator and taking vitamin D supplements has helped her a lot. Perhaps that would be helpful for you too?

KAD

Anxiety is definitely part of it for me, too, but unfortunately I already deal with that all year-round, so I don't directly associate it with SAD. The anxiety has definitely gotten much better in longer term sobriety than it was the first 6 months or so, but it still lingers from time to time.

Thanks for the helpful advice on the "natural" light source. That has been suggested before but I never looked into it. Meditation is supposed to be a daily part of my recovery, but it is often overlooked due to poor planning or lack of concentration. Long story short, I guess there is no easy fix for this. Like everything else, it will take effort!

ScottFromWI

You can buy bulbs that simulate natural sunlight that work right in regular lamps, last time I got them I believe they came from amazon.

And i'm guilty of not keeping up with meditation nearly as much as I need to, so don't feel alone there ;-) I am diagnosed with GAD too and the solution has really been holistic...I could not name one individual thing that was the "key", but a combination of many has helped tremendously.

KAD

Really?! I didn't know that. I buy from Amazon all the time. I'll go check it out. Thanks again!

ScottFromWI

Yes - i think they call them "full spectrum". Having said all that there is no proof that they actually work of course, so you'll see a lot of crazy claims out there. My thought though was that they were relatively cheap, and they definitely don't make things worse. Could be the placebo effect as well I suppose too but that's fine with me ;-)

Wholesome

Wow, there's a lot of people on here today talking about the weather bringing them down. Glad I'm not the only one who's operating on a lower frequency due to the grey skies and thought of another long winter. I'm still in the first year of sobriety and last winter when I got sober I had the spring to look forward to..... it's not even officially winter yet and I've already got the winter blues.

I think I'll pick up some vitamin D and some of those little clementine oranges when I go to the grocery store in a bit. I'm having the kind of day where even a simple trip to the store is requiring mental preparation..... all I want to do is lay around feeling sorry for myself and napping.

KAD

Guess I've not been paying enough attention around here then. I would imagine this problem is pretty common, though. For me, it isn't just the colder, grayer weather and diminished daylight, but also the holiday season. Due to circumstances surrounding fractured relationships with my children, I've not seen them over the holidays for what will be 3 years this year. Things have actually improved substantially, but have a long way to go. Either way, it makes for some very lonely holidays. All the "Christmas cheer" everywhere just kinda stabs me in the heart, ya know?

Sorry to sound like such a downer. Maybe all of us who are in the same, or similar, situations can help each other through it.

Wholesome

That's really tough. I'm divorced so every other year I miss my boys during the holidays..... I've had years where I just stayed home during Christmas and treated it as a paid day off rather than a day for festivities because it just wasn't the same to not have my boys with me. I hope that those relationships keep improving for you KAD. I don't know the circumstances on why those relationships are fractured but I know that sobriety gives us a chance to put our better selves forward and to not have any more bad things happen because of our drinking or drugging. Not that I'm suggesting drinking was the problem with your kids, like I said I have no idea.

Doug39

My sobriety date in October 24, 2016 and I live in gray Cleveland Ohio.

It was cold, gray and wet during first several months of my sobriety and it certainly didn't help my depression, dread and anxiety.

Now, a year later, it isn't as bad - today is a gray wet day and sure I feel lower than normal but I can cope. It is all attitude.

treeguy24

Wintertime affects my mood. I don't like the cold, gettting dark early, or the bad weather. I can relate.

NYCDoglvr

Change of season affects many of us, especially in the first few years of recovery. I deal with it by getting to more meetings and always having the lights on.

Doug39

et In some places fluorescent lights freak me out. Target department store is the worst; Walmart isn't much better.

The fluorescent light and the size of the store gets me panicky all the time.

I worked in a place for 9 years that had no windows and only the cold fluorescents - at the end of the workday after being in there for 9 hours I would feel like I was emerging from middle earth.

stargazer016

My seasonal depression usually hits me in late September or early October. The rapidly shortening days, with cloudy and colder weather really make me spiral. Most of my life, I tried to self medicate my way through to springtime.

Not drinking helps a lot, as alcohol is a depressant. My doctor prescribes a low dose anti depressant which I take during these months then stop once spring arrives. Also, I have a daylight that I have next to my computer and try to use it 20-30 minutes in the morning, while reading SR. Don't get a cheapie one if you want results. This protocol gets me sorted out eventually, but it's a time of year I dread and the only time drinking remotely enters my head.

I work out and have a very physical job, but if you are desk bound, these changes can help too.

I hope you all have figured things out a bit since you all posted!