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Glass of wine placed in my hand last night

Old 11-13-2017, 01:06 PM
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This sounds way too close for my comfort.

I wasn't comfortable being around alcohol for a pretty good while, so i didn't permit myself to get in those situations.

My sobriety is entirely too important to me to let other people try to give me alcohol.

On the rare occasion that someone does, or when the maitre-de gives me a wine list, i say that i don't drink.

If they press me on the point, i tell them i am a recovering alcoholic.

It's all very simple.

When it comes to my sobriety, i make the rules. Period.
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Old 11-13-2017, 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy View Post
Also, when you guys get to a point where you just know you won’t drink no matter what? I highly recommend going out. It’s fun, more fun actually because there’s very little chance for humiliation.

Take the humiliation out of the equation and I still I find drinking establishments not particularly enjoyable. If I have a specific reason for going I will but generally I don't. I went to such establishments to drink. Take away the booze and I find the evening often dull.

Again I will go but only if there is a reason such as I am meeting with co-workers or a special event.
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Old 11-13-2017, 03:13 PM
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i think what some people may be thinking, including myself, is that someone that knows they arent going to drink typically doesnt run it through their head for a while.

it reads like quite a few people here are thinking into the future,too- what happens IF it happens again during a weak mental moment.
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Old 11-13-2017, 03:18 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Stayingsassy View Post
Also, when you guys get to a point where you just know you wonít drink no matter what? I highly recommend going out. Itís fun, more fun actually because thereís very little chance for humiliation.

SS, i know the intentions are good, but there have been thread after thread of people that knew they werent going to drink, went out somewhere alcohol is served, and ended up drunk. theres been a few threads where those people kept drinking for extended periods of time.
and were humiliated.
although before i came here, i had a time when i stopped drinking. went to shoot pool because i liked shooting pool and had it set in my mind i wasnt going to drink, and ended up blacking out- again.
stayed drunk for quite a few years after that.
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:04 PM
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I wasn’t a big drinker when I was out. I drank at home. There’s alcohol here (although it’s hidden) and I could get alcohol in a matter of minutes, and drink it alone...which would be far more likely than drinking when I am out,
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:10 PM
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"....ended up drunk" cmon on really? Like how osmosis?
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:14 PM
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I’ll try to remember to be more careful. I can’t hide out from the world and I don’t want to, but I will try not to make it too easy for me to decide to drink.

I know that I don’t have “strong sobriety muscles” right now, but as you all know my alcohol addiction doesn’t give a **** if I go out or not, and that risk of drinking is literally everywhere. As I mentioned in an above post, moving forward I already know which events I will attend and which ones I won’t, based on how they make sense within the context of my new sobriety. I can’t live in fear though. I need to still live my life, I’m just learning to live it sober.
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Old 11-13-2017, 06:42 PM
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This thread has taken on a life of it's own.
She went out to an event to hear a band. Someone she knew casually handed her a glass of wine. She knew what to do, and didn't drink it.

She shows resolve and knows and understands her relationship with alcohol. She knows where she stands-on solid ground.

She deserves credit for a job well done.
Because you wouldn't have placed yourself in her position, or been able to handle it, doesn't speak for everyone.
I worked in a nightclub for three years and didn't drink.
Although we all may share the same malady, we can't juxtaposition ourselves with someone else.
We're all different types of people and are at different places in our recovery.
Please bare that in mind.
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:12 PM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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This kind of pisses me off when people do that. Would you just hand a big piece of cake to a diabetic? Why do people do that? (Rhetorical)
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:14 PM
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Maybe because they didn't know that person was diabetic?
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:18 PM
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I remember being resolutely on the other side of the fence.
Now I am back there but know my limits better than before have SR to help me remember them.
It's good to build muscle in the event you will be around it, and I wouldn't recommend to anyone to forgo social events if they think they can handle it.
I want to be able to that again, but next time I will remember that "no" is enough and no glass will find its way in my hand. It's just not necessary.
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:26 PM
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All said and done people are going to do what they are going to do.

Peace out.
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Old 11-13-2017, 07:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Ghostlight1 View Post
This thread has taken on a life of it's own.
She went out to an event to hear a band. Someone she knew casually handed her a glass of wine. She knew what to do, and didn't drink it.

She shows resolve and knows and understands her relationship with alcohol. She knows where she stands-on solid ground.

She deserves credit for a job well done.
Because you wouldn't have placed yourself in her position, or been able to handle it, doesn't speak for everyone.
I worked in a nightclub for three years and didn't drink.
Although we all may share the same malady, we can't juxtaposition ourselves with someone else.
We're all different types of people and are at different places in our recovery.
Please bare that in mind.
The icky thing this thread has done is make me feel like I have more in common with drinkers than those in recovery, which is way more slippery than a glass of wine in my hand that I didnít drink.

I know we have to think in absolutes when it comes to avoiding the ingestion of alcohol, that must always be an absolute, but some people take their absolutism pretty far.

I will still have a social life. And thatís going to be far better for my sobriety than sitting everything out that my family and long time friends invite me to, because in the long run, that would only breed resentment. And while some of you have stories of sudden boozing at social events, I have also read stories here of people who are years in and feel like shut ins who only go to AA, and feel like their lives lack the vibrancy they had before. Why is that? Avoidance of too much of life, fearing it threatens sobriety. Iíd rather live than be fearful forever.

These things can be taken too far. Iím staying sober. Also....I had a fantastic time Saturday night, it was a real shot in the arm socially and I loved seeing my friends. Didnít matter that the wine went back on the bar instead of down my throat. At least to me, and my friends at the event, anyway....I seemed to have shocked a bunch of people here!

Thanks ghostlight for understanding.
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Old 11-13-2017, 08:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Ghostlight1 View Post
Maybe because they didn't know that person was diabetic?
Do they know sheís an alcoholic?

Point being that people at parties donít push food on you. Why do they have to push booze? And make it seem like weíre the ackward ones for refusing it.
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Old 11-13-2017, 09:14 PM
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Sorry about that post. It came off as sounding smart ass, which I didn't mean to.
I humbly apologize.
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Old 11-13-2017, 09:27 PM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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I thought that ten seconds of my night would make an interesting post...just trying to keep everyone from getting bored.

This weekend will go down as “omg sassy had a glass of wine in her hands!”

So much more tame than my old stories....setting the drink down and ordering a Diet Coke....instead of drinking all the wine I can get my hands on, trashmouthing everyone, banging into walls then getting carried out of the place. Is it any wonder I drank at home instead?
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Old 11-13-2017, 09:29 PM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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I'm sorry - I hope I didn't appear coming from a place of judgement but I can see how it could be taken that way. You should indeed be thankful and proud for having stayed sober at a social event. Those are the hardest, after all.

I think this resonated me on a deep level because it was those strikingly similar circumstances that slowly broke down my resolve. Having said that, there is always more than just external circumstances. Something was happening from within that was weakening my resolve and I wasn't addressing f those early signs. But that's my own story - it doesn't have to be yours.

I just don't want to see that happen to another and their hard-earned sobriety, hence the passion.

You did great - you had a good time and you came home the same as you left: sober.
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Old 11-13-2017, 10:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Shitzupuppy View Post
Do they know sheís an alcoholic?

Point being that people at parties donít push food on you. Why do they have to push booze? And make it seem like weíre the ackward ones for refusing it.
They didnít know. I was drinking the last time I saw them. Iím only seven weeks sober and itís just not really ďoutĒ that Iím not drinking. It will be. It wasnít the venue to get into it. I actually lounged around at home before showing up because I wanted to get there closer to his playing time (instead of hanging out in a bar all night) and he was there early...actually told a couple people Iíd quit drinking and didnít want to be there all night, but this woman wasnít in on the info I guess.
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Old 11-14-2017, 05:03 AM
  # 59 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
"....ended up drunk" cmon on really? Like how osmosis?
i think youve been here long enough and read enough of the threads im referring to to know how it happened.
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Old 11-14-2017, 07:57 AM
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A reminder to everyone that we are here to help each other, whatever our method of recovery might be. If anyone has a problem with posts they do not agree with, please report them or use the ignore feature to block users you do not agree with. It's also important to remember that we will hear things, especially in early sobriety, that we don't want to hear - but we may need to hear. A couple of posts have been removed, please keep personal disagreements to PM.
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