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Shameless

Old 11-10-2017, 10:01 AM
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Shameless

Iím sure many of you have seen this show.


My most recent behavior was most unhelpfully compared to the episode when Frank Gallagher got sober and drove his family nuts with his domestic pursuits. I was told how funny it is when art mimics life because of the truth in it.

This pissed me off. Needless to mention, even though i drank alcoholically: I pulled down a decent paycheck, kept the kids in line, cleaned toilets, kept house, took care of the animals, made all the dinners and managed to drop 50 pounds while attending the gym four days a week. So yes, he is an alcoholic, and I am too, but I am not Frank Gallagher.

Resentment. Watch it there, sassy....

Still mad though: also because when you arenít trying to do what Iím trying to do...how do you even have a clue what Iím going through....if you need to vent go to alanon. Spare me, I have 99 problems and the show shameless is not one of them.
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Old 11-10-2017, 10:11 AM
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Sassy,
Take a deep breath. Like all of us here you are fighting an epic battle - you are doing so well, focus on your goal of recovery, it's about you and your family and you need to protect it. Breathe, - and let go.
We all support you, hugs!
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Old 11-10-2017, 10:58 AM
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Shameless is not real life, Sassy. WE are real life, and thankfully, most of our family and friends see it/us in that light.
The bad, of course, is that a some drunks - unfortunately, I think - identify with Frank Gallagher, and worse still, many people out there, see his behavior as the norm when it comes to alcoholics.
Me? Well, I look at the good and the bad of it, and Shameless to me, is sometimes funny, and other times extremely sad. Its been a long time since I saw an episode of it, but I think, if I did, now, it would probably strengthen my resolve to continue on the Sober path; it might make me angry, but it WILL make me stronger.
Have a wonderful, sober weekend.
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Old 11-10-2017, 11:02 AM
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His behavior is shockingly familiar to me at times, but...please.

Anyway I confronted, got it off my chest, was given an apology, so it’s done.

It raises an interesting question though, considering the fact that all of us were assholes to people at least in some degree, it’s the nature of the thing...how much do we take from people after we quit, I wonder.
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Old 11-10-2017, 05:50 PM
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For me my perspective changed on how I felt people were treating me. Therefore I treated them different when confrontation arose. As my confidence went up, I've been able to deal with people directly, firm and honest.
I think you'll find as time goes on, your dealings with people will improve.
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Old 11-11-2017, 02:00 AM
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"How much do we take from people..." Such a great question.

IMO and IME - how I try to live and have relationships with those I hurt while drinking....there is a place in the BB which says (para) we should not be servile or scraping. We make amends, and then it is up to the other(s) whether they accept them and can move forward in a relationship with us - tentative or contrary or angry or [ ] it may be. We have to stick to step 10 - making ongoing amends as we do things and act in ways we shouldn't, just like any human - and should not subject ourselves to emotional punishment from others. But again- we cannot control how they behave- and if wishing made that so, I 'd have a much smoother relationship with my parents, at 20+ mo sober.

I have found that I care much less about what strangers or acquaintances or other AAers think of me, especially in my past life as a drinker - as long as I do my part, stay in my lane, and focus on my spiritual fitness. God (my HP) can take care of everyone else.And honestly, I do my best not to even be around people who are hateful in any way, and definitely have to ignore some people in the program who sometimes chap my rear big time!

There are as many kinds of alcoholics as there are alcoholism, IMO, and I agree with the comments that Frank and the show make me very sad at times; I think the same of that Courtney Cox show (Cougar Town?) where huge bowl glasses of wine are always on hand.....

But I just gotta do me
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Old 11-11-2017, 02:08 AM
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I Have only seen a few episodes of the show, but I canít really relate to anyone in it for the most part. I have no kids, never drank all day every day, etc.
I do think parts are funny, parts are sad. Not all related to frankís alcoholism.
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Old 11-11-2017, 03:10 AM
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For me, part of acceptance is accepting that just because I've quit, the rest of the world goes merrily along. I'm told that alcoholics are a small minority of those who drink; I happen to be one of that minority that cannot drink safely or with any kind of moderation. I'm fine with that.

Alcohol is in movies, TV, etc., and always will be (remember Prohibition caused more grief and tragedy than it solved). You can choose to avoid certain programming - Shameless, for example, advertises that the patriarch is a drunk. I do think it was thoughtless for someone to compare your behavior to that of a fictional TV character.

TV and movies are entertainment for me. Period. If someone happens to be drinking or drunk or drugging it doesn't bother me. I might be reminded of a particular episode, but for myself personally that's a good thing. The first step in relapse is forgetting where you came from (IMHO).

I watched "The Maltese Falcon" yesterday before going to sleep for work, and there's a scene where two characters are having a drink. Meant nothing to me, because that's what people do sometimes. The only sobriety I have to worry about is mine.
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Old 11-12-2017, 11:58 AM
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My wise sponsor said, in early sobriety: compare yourself to yourself, not others.
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