hurtfulxtears

I Dont think I can do this anymore, Im scared and Im sick of the tears, The pain and the trying and most of all the falling.

About a year in 5 months ago, I met my boyfriend, perfect guy, cute and sweet and brang me flowers every other day. Told me all the things women love to hear. After about 2 months he hit me with some news that broke my heart. He told me that he had been caught drunk driving for his forth time and that he is looking at Jail time. My heart hit the floor, Perfect was over and I was lost.
I loved this man with every bone in my body, but as soon as I heard the news I could put everything together, my pain my angry all the things that were said all the fights everything. When he drank he was the devil, He became something I cant even put into words. IT sure wasnt the man I fell in love with, I do no that.

So to say the court ended up giving him 90 days in jail and he would go straight from there to a treatment center that worked with them about drinking and drugs. Well in a week he is coming home, and Im more scared then any thing in the world, I dont know what I should look for, I cleaned the house out.
People Always around me tell me I need to go I need to leave, How can you love someone who puts you through all this, How do you love someone who makes you cry...
I tell them.
you dont control who you love, your heart does.

I'm not sure what to look out for, I never touch anything in my life, I dont drink I dont do drugs, never tired them and hopefully never will.

mikee

I would think that 90 days forced sobriety (jail) should be a insight to whats to come
for him,( besides having lots of time to think about it ) and then to a treatment center, good. When he comes home don't be scared, just have ur mine set that he
is running out of startovers and stick by what ur heart is telling you, however
Don't let "anyone" attempt to pull you down to their self destuctive nature, ever.

God bless,
mike

lonlion

I don't believe now is the time to bail on him. Like what was said above, he has had time to realize what his using has done to him, and then a treatment centre afterwards.

Try to be loving and supportive, but keep your boundaries in tact. No body needs this kind of rollercoaster ride. If he has learned, then he will not pick up again.
Hope it goes well for you. Keep strong! Have faith.

1Marty

I also agree that he may need your support now. Encourage him to stay active in a recovery program (AA for example). Just make sure he has the right attitude, this time. Make sure he wants to stop drinking.

minnie

Hon

Come on over to the Friends and Family board and share your story with us. As the name suggests, we all have loved ones who are struggling with alcoholism. We understand what you are going through.

You've found a good place here. You're not on your own.

Love

Minnie
xxx

Music

First off, we surely can't control others. That's a given. There's no telling what will happen when he comes home. I don't know whether or not you should leave at is time, but I do know one thing. It's time to stop "feeling" with your heart and start "thinking" with your head. Set some ground rules right off the bat. When he comes home he won't be able to say he doesn't know. He knows!!! Being in jail and going through treatment....he knows. If he screws up one time.....one time....he's gone. Loving someone is no excuse to stay in a relationship with an abusive drunk. You need to get some help to build up your self-esteem so that you start believing that you deserve better. Some people are victoms and some are volunteers. Don't volunteer to be in a sick relaionship any longer than it takes to make a decision to get out.

Chy

Ditto to the above, what you can do is find the support you need now in Alanon, please visit the Friends and Family forum here.