Jtimber

I’m in prison. But not a normal prison. My prison doesn’t have bars, or doors, or guards or a release date. I can walk out of it whenever I like. I could leave right this second if I chose to even whilst writing this. So where am I? I’m somewhere in the deepest pit of alcoholism. Pints of beer day after day and a fear of walking away from them keep me locked here. I wake up in prison and I build the bars around me everyday by drinking. All I need to do to leave is to stop drinking. Just stop. Just simply don’t drink. There is no release date because I can choose my own. Some people in REAL prisons don’t have that luxury. And you know what.... I’d swap with them any day of the week. Give me a prison with bars and doors and guards and rules and a release date. Even if it was years in the future at least I’d know when the misery would be over.

tomsteve

im a little confused,jtimber. ya say this
Give me a prison with bars and doors and guards and rules and a release date. Even if it was years in the future at least I’d know when the misery would be over

yet earlier say this:
I could leave right this second if I chose to even whilst writing this.

are you saying youre not going to make the choice?

Jtimber

I want to, I know I can leave. But I don’t know how to find the way out to begin with

Stayingsassy

I keep a monopoly card near my bed. It says, “get out of jail free.”

It’s that simple. I love it. There’s been nothing harder for me. But I love that it just takes one simple decision.

No need to think our way out of it, we just do it.

tomsteve

refreshing to read ya want to. it might be wise to start with surrendering- admitting alcohol has ya whooped and ya cant do it alone.
then be willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.
then look into a recovery program and get into action with it.

you CAN recover

Berrybean

Well, you could try an honest chat with your Doctor so they can check you over and let you know what help is available.

You could - right now - google the hotline number for AA in your country and talk to someone from there. I'm betting there's a meeting pretty close you could get yourself to, and there would be plenty of folk there who've walked this path ahead of you and would be happy to support your escape from alcoholism.

BB

ScottFromWI

There's a lot of ways. Coming here was a good first step, even if you don't realize it. As mentioned previously, if you have a telephone you could very easily pick it up and call your doctor, an AA hotline, a local crisis hotline, a priest/clergy member, or maybe even just a friend you trust and tell them you need help.

Have you ever tried any of those options before?

waynetheking

I was in the jail you are in now. This is what I did. I prayed to god for help. And I prayed some more. And I keep praying. One day I got my answer. I don't drink anymore.
You might try it. It could possibly work for you. One thing is for sure, alcoholism only gets worse. It's death row for us. So really you have nothing to loose, try praying.
I wish you the best sir, welcome to SR.

Dee74

I've been reading your threads for a while jtimber.
Does getting sober still scare you?

It scared me.

Not drinking anymore is a leap of faith - a risk taken that everything will be ok and not worse than what you have now.

But there's so many people here living full happy and content lives, I think this leap of faith is a pretty safe one.

Why not make the leap?

put some effort into making changes finding support and start actively working for your recovery?

D

FBL

Once I surrendered, everything changed. Took me several years to get there. That's the sad part about us alcoholics...we have the key, we just don't remember where we put it. And even if we do find it, we're afraid to use it.

Eaglelizard

The real prison sentence is how those pints are stunting your potential. Do you want to realize your full potential in the years allotted to you or quasi enjoy fizzy beverages for half the day every day?