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How well are your emotional needs being met?

Old 11-15-2017, 02:43 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Location: Mississauga, ON
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Originally Posted by vulcan30 View Post
The reason I made this post was to assert that it's important to be in touch with the original reason for starting to drink.

RE Andante

I'm glad you asked this. Being at a social dead end, having limited social opportunity, social anxiety, losing hope of finding love, feeling trapped, not having anyone to talk to about how I feel. These were all major motivators for me to drink on my own.

I acknowledge that not all people develop drink problems due to unhappy circumstances, but this shouldn't be used to write off the fact that a lot of people who have drinking problems are in unhappy situations, whether caused by their drinking problems, or original and exacerbated by drinking. It certainly shouldn't be used to discredit original unhappiness.

I posted the Human Givens website because it makes sense to me and my situation. A lot of the literature I read on drinking comes from the stance that people drink because they're weak and broken, that the reasons they're drinking don't matter; that they 'should know better'. To me that just sounds incredibly insensitive and makes me incredibly cross.

Though not all drinking problems result from unhappiness, all of them result in unhappiness. That's one thing we can all agree on. That doesn't mean that any original unhappy situations be ignored.
I started to drink at around 14, and my reasons for drinking certainly weren't the reasons I drank at 35.

But I do admit that drinking KEPT me in unhappy situations far longer than need be. But only through sobriety and recovery was I able to finally address these issues and make some tough decisions - in my situation, leaving an unhappy marriage, pursuing a different career, etc.

But as they say at my meetings: first things first. And for me, that's not picking up that first drink. Not to use too many cliches here, but anything else would be like trying to rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic.
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