Stayingsassy

Slow thinking. Slow moving. Slow digestion. Slow in waking up. Slow metabolism. Slow listening...what was that, again? Oh. What? Huh. Drift off.....

Least I’m not drunk and hungover, but this is one humdinger of a PAWS experience. I’m spending nearly all my time observing and accepting, what else can I do? Return to the whiskey bender? No. So just wow, i forgot again, wow, I gained 15 pounds, wow, I still need 12 hours sleep, wow, I really messed up again. Lots of apologies to the boss, lots of explaining to those close to me why I am so different and why I lack the energy to really engage with life like I used to.

It’s not depression because I am not sad or hopeless. I know the difference, I am just....slow.

I know why. I think it’s just hard for everyone around me to understand, they haven’t exactly studied addiction medicine around their walking dead episodes and nba games, haha.

Yawn, it’s 7 pm is it time for bed yet? *sleepy smiles*

Ariesagain

Have you had your thyroid levels checked?

Stayingsassy

Nah, I don’t go to the doctor. I grew up with an md father and we never went to the doctor: because he was at home, so now I find it weird when people go to the doctor so much, especially since they over prescribe and end up stressing out everyone’s kidneys and livers. I was stressing out my liver enough!

If I’m bleeding out or unable to breathe, or maybe vomiting to the point of death I might go. I did admit myself to ER with a self diagnosed rapidly worsening Mrsa infection once, good thing I did because I was septic and needed vanco.

I’m rambling, sorry, I’ve had a long workday and I can’t think straight anyway, so...

If my thyroid’s tanking chances are it will rebound within a few months after the late withdrawal period has passed.

anxiousrock

I gain weight when I stay sober too....I eat so much more and regularly.
I have to work our HARD 5 times a week just to maintain my weight, and count calories.

Ariesagain

Not to go all parent on you, but you’re the right gender and age for hypothyroidism. I remember looking at my doctor scornfully and saying, “but wouldn’t I be having symptoms if I had hypothyroidism?” He shot back, “sluggishness, weight gain, feeling cold all the time, exhaustion.” Me (eyeroll): “FINE.”

He was right, of course. My thyroid had packed up and pretty much retired at age 38. And as it turns out, for me at least, my thyroid levels have been independent of my drinking or my sobriety (day 670+ here).

Did I mention I lost twenty pounds after getting my levels right?

biminiblue

+1 to everything Aries said. My experience as well.

Thyroid doesn't "fix" itself with more sober time, either. It's just a little $7 per month pill. Blood tests prove or disprove. It's not an opinion diagnosis like some things are, it's an actual deficiency; easily remedied.

b0glerd69

Someone close to me has lost (this is true) 8 stones (112 lbs) by switching to a low carbohydrate diet, in the last 12 months. I Would not have believed it unless I had seen it myself! Maybe look into that for the weight loss part. The diet requires the elimination of all sugar from the diet so maybe not the best idea in early recovery but it really does work. It's along the lines of paleo, back to basics, back to how we used to eat as hunter-gatherers e.g. meat, fish, veg, nuts, some dairy. No sugar (rice, pasta, potatoes, bread).

Stayingsassy

I lost 50 pounds between 2015 and 2017 on low carb . It’s my default diet, I love how effective it is. I went from a size 18 to a really toned and fit size ten. Then I quit drinking....

It’s been a challenge in sobriety. I know now that my brain is just out of whack when it comes to feel good chemicals. I need to adjust things...I’ve been pondering on it a lot because I am back up 15 from my lowest weight point which is disappointing, although I am still deeply grateful to be sober.

Stayingsassy

Part of my problem is that I hurt my foot last week! I agree the workouts help so much, the workouts also allow a little more relaxed eating which makes sobriety more fun.

Foots better today and I have a workout scheduled, I could not be more excited about it.

Stayingsassy

I hear you guys. I guess I’m thinking that this feeling is brand new. When I was drinking I felt normal energy wise, I worked out all week and did tons of chores, normal sleep levels, normal metabolism. Of course I was destroying my personal life and my soul....but otherwise I had an abundance of energy, which makes me think this is temporary sobriety dip in my levels. So I am 40 days into sobriety and feeling this way....going to give it more time and if things don’t improve after that 3 month mark (supposed to to rebound then) I will seriously consider labwork.

Thanks for the advice though, I’m listening!

biminiblue

So at the risk of sounding like a broken record...cutting carbs when going sober can also lead to lethargy.

You just had a sugar binge in the last couple days. Cutting back on those again leads to lethargy. It's that back/forth that is making this happen. When you drank, thousands of calories a day of carbs. Then you cut.

Then you ate thousands of calories of sugar.

Then cut.

It causes blood sugar and energy spikes. Pick a side for a while and you might feel better.

I have that happen too. Yesterday I could barely stay awake a couple hours after eating Almond Snickers. The whole bag. First I got that burst of manic energy, then the crash.

Stayingsassy

Yes. Bingo.

Yesterday I avoided the sugar binge and I just got my period (girl talk, sorry men! You guys know about periods, right?) and feel way better.

Still I really need some balance in my life, I had zero balance as an active alcoholic and I liked in a sick way the drama that created, but that’s not going to fly now that I’m sober. I have to relearn some things about my self care, and possibly learn new things as well, something I am often resistant to.

Mac4711

Sassy,
If it’s any consolation, in month two I regressd to the level of a village idiot, unable to rub more than two IQ points together. I’m getting close to month four now and I have emerged from the other end of the tunnel. Can’t really say I’m my old self again, because there has never been an adult me that has not been drinking, but my cognitive functions have dramatically improved. So there’s hope!
Just give it a little bit more time, I know you’re a patient one anyway! ;-). See you on the other side!

Stayingsassy

I can’t wait. I’ve made it to four months one time in a nonpregnant state (I quit for pregnancies) and then drank again, so it won’t be too long I will be in new territory.

And yes I’m very sad to say that it’s quite possible my problems with patience were not just an alcoholic trait....lol. (Thus the can’t wait comment)

I expected this in month 2. I’ve had several month 2’s and to be perfectly frank they all sucked.

I have faith it’s temporary.

Mac4711

You know it is temporary, it’ll all be good in a few months! We just need to keep our eyes on the prize and not relapse.
In that spirit, I’m going to hit the gym, later!

Stayingsassy

Yep, I’m going to bootcamp at noon and Im as excited as I used to be picking up 2 six packs of trulys for my Saturday morning drunk....it’s a new world. Happy weekend to you!

Mac4711

Sassy,
Same here, happy weekend!