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Need ideas, support, and affirmations...

Old 10-25-2017, 05:38 PM
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Need ideas, support, and affirmations...

Twice a year, I go to an out-of-state conference alone. I have always loved it because I'm alone, released from all responsibilities from work and parenting, and have time to sit in silence... and drink myself to sleep in a hotel room. I would order room service, drink, watch TV, and pass out. I loved it-- a judgment free way to pass time in oblivion.

My first post-sober one is coming this weekend, and I admit I'm nervous. The days are full with the conference, but what will I do during the long evenings alone? I am certain I won't drink ... but I just don't know what I WILL do Three long evenings in a hotel room alone with only re-runs of "Friends" sounds like not-much-fun.
I will have some work related to the conference, and I'll go on a few runs... but the problem with running is I'll have to turn around SOMETIME and face the lonely hotel room again.

Ideas? Suggestions? Or just shout-outs of "you can do it" that I can read when I can't stand one more minute of TV comedies? *grin*
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Old 10-25-2017, 05:41 PM
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Thatís a tough one and I totally understand, I have a few conferences a year with lots of food, drink and dancing.
Try finding a local AA meeting to go to.
Or, go workout in the hotel gym and then order room service but with no bottle .
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Old 10-25-2017, 05:58 PM
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I guess the answer is reframing the association, which is all that it is: something you associate with drinking. I could make a list of all kinds of things you can do instead of drinking but until you do several conferences sober, your brain won’t go there.

If you like exercise try ClassPass or Zenrez: drop in studio gym time, it’s made for people who are out of town and away from their gyms. I’ve been having fun getting out of my comfort zone trying out new classes, meeting new people, seeing new areas of town, etc. maybe treat yourself to food you don’t normally eat, maybe try to hit a local play, musical, movie in the evening....I have several friends that don’t drink, just don’t care for drinking and these are the things they like to do.

Or, you may just choose to get through it as you Normally do minus drinking. Bring a good book: you won’t be interrupted by kids and can get some good reading in.
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Old 10-25-2017, 06:02 PM
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Can you take in the sights, go shopping, rent a movie, get a good book and order a pizza? Hot tub, hot baths, go to the gym? I too loved the hotel stays. I couldn’t wait to get to the room and drink and veg out. Change up your pattern and habits.
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Old 10-25-2017, 06:45 PM
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I agree. Enjoy yourself without drinking. I would explore the town. And do some of the things mentioned above.
I recently did some traveling and stayed in three hotels. It was great. Free to do what I wanted to. It never occurred to me to drink, but I've been sober for awhile now. Took long baths, ordered food and just relaxed. It was fun.
I wish you the same.
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Old 10-25-2017, 07:13 PM
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I like to swim if they have a pool and take advantage of the exercise room.

I would go out to eat ...that would get yourself out of the room more.
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Old 10-25-2017, 07:38 PM
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You are saying exactly what I worry about too, those long hours after sessions at conferences for me. I used to drink alone at the bar and have a bottle in the room. I had to change up the trips and not even consider holding up in my room the whole time. Even shopping locally got me out, eating out not in the room. Bringing my husband helped too.
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Old 10-25-2017, 08:35 PM
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Plans plans and more plans - you know what to expect - make sobriety plans according to the situations you know you'll face

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...val-guide.html (Social Occasion Survival Guide)

you can do this - no luck required

D
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Old 10-26-2017, 02:37 AM
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Originally Posted by FindingMyNext View Post
Twice a year, I go to an out-of-state conference alone. I have always loved it because I'm alone, released from all responsibilities from work and parenting, and have time to sit in silence... and drink myself to sleep in a hotel room. I would order room service, drink, watch TV, and pass out. I loved it-- a judgment free way to pass time in oblivion.

My first post-sober one is coming this weekend, and I admit I'm nervous. The days are full with the conference, but what will I do during the long evenings alone? I am certain I won't drink ... but I just don't know what I WILL do Three long evenings in a hotel room alone with only re-runs of "Friends" sounds like not-much-fun.
I will have some work related to the conference, and I'll go on a few runs... but the problem with running is I'll have to turn around SOMETIME and face the lonely hotel room again.

Ideas? Suggestions? Or just shout-outs of "you can do it" that I can read when I can't stand one more minute of TV comedies? *grin*
Hi there! I find it helps to read. That takes more commitment than watching tv, and it's something I never drank while doing (unlike tv). Actually, I never read for fun at all while drinking, so there is no drinking association mixed up with it. I'd get some fun reading material for your trip that really interests you (I'm not talking Shakespeare here ), and try to get into it. Ancestry.com is another idea. It's super fun as you literally connect with relatives who are part of your tree who are also trying to build their family history.

Good luck on the trip. And good for you for preparing mentally for it bf you get there. You can do this.
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Old 10-26-2017, 07:56 AM
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Many museums have evening hours. Go to a museum and get some culchah.
If you can afford it, go shopping. I love to go to stores in places I’ve not been to.
Often I don’t buy, just look. That’s fun, too.
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Old 10-26-2017, 08:13 AM
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- Call the local AA chapter and let them know you are looking for a buddy to take you to meetings and/or just hang out with in general.
- Bring or buy a puzzle that you can do in your room while watching reruns of Friends
- Keep a regular schedule. In bed by 10, up by 6, out the door for a walk then back to your room after breakfast to get yourself together for the day... something like that

O
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Old 10-26-2017, 08:34 AM
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glad youre thinking about it.
why not look into what sights/attractions there are to see around town?

no matter what remember 2 things:
-1-there aint no drink worthy event
2- dont drink even if your ass falls off.
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Old 10-28-2017, 05:47 AM
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Update

Hi, everyone,
Thanks for the helpful tips. Night #1 is over, and it was downright pleasant. I took the advice of creating a new set of experiences to associate with staying in a hotel room alone during conferences, so-- when the conference was over, I went on a super-long run, took a super-long hot bath, watched three episodes of "Shark Tank" (addicting!!!), got some dinner at the hotel buffet (ugh) and then read myself to sleep. It was quiet, calm, and didn't make me anxious at all. And this morning, I'm clear-headed for my next presentation AND not worried about where to hide the empty bottles so the room cleaner doesn't judge me. Bwhahahaha

Today is another day like yesterday, and I plan to do much of the same. The longest day is tomorrow, when the conference ends early and I have a whole afternoon and evening to fill. I'll probably take the suggestions of this group and Uber into a shopping or entertainment area.

I can't help but feel a little untethered, which isn't a pleasant feeling. It's a feeling of loneliness, I guess, which is interesting because when I'm at home I would usually give up an arm to be alone for five blessed minutes.

But the clear head and calm hands more than make up for the uneasy feeling... and this will all make me more grateful to get home to my chaotic life, which is probably the re-calibration I needed to be a better wife and mother...

Onward!
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Old 10-28-2017, 06:05 AM
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How about having a look for a decent online PC game and installing that on a laptop and passing the time playing that? You'll get an internet connection in your hotel room, right? There are loads of games and genres to choose from and one can lose hours of time and have fun gaming. You can access games via a thing called Steam, you download the client onto your laptop and then have a look through the games, download one that interests you and you're all set. I have found 1000's of hours of sober online fun and have made a whole bunch of virtual friends this way. Good luck with the Business trip.
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Old 10-28-2017, 06:26 AM
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Gummy drop! It’s a match 3 game like Candy Crush, but I like it better.
If it were me, I would splurge on a book for my tablet.
Gasp!
I never buy books, but this is special.
And the untethered thing? I always felt lke that when I travelled to a place I didn’t know.
Especially when I was travelling on business.
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Old 10-28-2017, 08:39 AM
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I have always loved it because I'm alone, released from all responsibilities from work and parenting, and have time to sit in silence...
I love this kind of time and am actually quite zealous in insuring that I get some time like this. When I do, I use it to reflect on gratitude.
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Old 10-28-2017, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by FindingMyNext View Post
I can't help but feel a little untethered, which isn't a pleasant feeling. It's a feeling of loneliness, I guess, which is interesting because when I'm at home I would usually give up an arm to be alone for five blessed minutes.

But the clear head and calm hands more than make up for the uneasy feeling... and this will all make me more grateful to get home to my chaotic life, which is probably the re-calibration I needed to be a better wife and mother...

Onward!
Finding,
Donít know your situation, of course, but if youíre feeling lonely, why donít you have a few Skype or WhatsApp sessions with friends and family or get on Facebook and reinitiate contact with long-lost friends or go through LinkedIn and establish links with interesting business relations, which is always a good idea anyhow?
Whatever you can do to distract yourself from thinking about alcohol.
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