Anna

I'm sorry for your loss, and I believe that you can survive the pain of the feelings you're going through.

Also, I had an experience within the first six months of recovery, which was the scariest thing I've ever had to deal with. It was a terrifying time, but I began to understand that if I could get through that (and I did), I could get through anything.

Sohard

Thanks, Anna. I'm glad you got through that difficult time. I appreciate your thoughts!

Sohard

Thanks, everyone. So, I made it (by going to bed at 5:00pm, but still made it). I do feel a bit better, so I guess there really is something to HALTS and looking out for that. I can't even imagine how horrible I would've felt today if I would have had to add the sadness plus guilt from drinking plus a hang over. It would have been horrific.

I can't believe I'm on my 8th day. It is truly incredible. I know it's bc of SR. It's amazing the little pieces of advice I've gotten which have pulled me through. It's almost enough to make me think just maybe the support of AA just might be a good idea (maybe). I'll keep considering. But thanks again. I really like knowing I made it through yesterday's sadness which I know will give me strength for future difficult times.

Onward.

Obladi

Hooray on Day 8! More than 25% to your next milestone, already!

It's because of YOU that you are at this point, Sohard. Give yourself credit. And indeed, the understanding of others is precious for helping with the "everything else" that comes up when quitting. I'm stoked that you are thinking about getting some in-person support as well. (Just maybe )

Hope you're having a wonderful day.

O

Sohard

Thanks, O! I DID have a wonderful day because I was so proud of making it through what I consider my first crisis (crushing sadness!). I did some stuff today I never would have done while drinking or hung over (after work, I went to the gym and cleaned my apartment!). I'm quite thrilled to be trucking along and that this (sobriety) seems to be starting maybe to work. I don't want to get too excited about it, but I am very excited about it.

It's bizarre. It's like I can feel my brain working through things that I didn't even know I'd been numbing with alcohol. I feel like I keep making mini-steps, even when I'm just thinking. Just so strange (in a good way).

Obladi

Gym & Cleaning in the Same Day? What???

I'm glad you're excited.
BE excited!
There will be days that get you down, enjoy the ones you enjoy for all they are worth and carry that through to sustain you through the others.

30 days, right?
What will trip your trigger?
Putting $10 (or whatever you spent on wine) in a jar/vase at the end of each day? Crossing off days on a calendar? Going to a meeting on some monumental occasion like Day 10? (I know that last won't make you do happy dances on the way in but it just might on the way out.)

Anyway, do what you can to sustain this. I highly encourage you write yourself a list of tasks and fun things in reasonable-size pieces so that you can check things off your list every day and need never wonder what to do with yourself.

But you didn't ask for my advice, so feel free to ignore me.

O

Gottalife

My daughter and I both suffered overwhelming waves of grief for quite a long time after her mother, my wife, died. I have seen others suffer the same kind of thing. A man in my shop had lost his wife, and kept bursting into tears.

In my experience there are two things involved here, each requiring different treatment. Grief and alcholism.

My alcoholism was treated through AA some time ago. The drink problem was solved completely so when I got bowled by the grief of my wife's passing, it never occured to me to drink. I was baffled as to what was going on. My grief seemed to have a mind of its own and could strike anytime. So I went to a greif counsellor, as did my daughter, and we discovered our experience with grief was completely normal.

I didn't bring this up at AA. AA is great for alcoholism, but there are much better qualified people out there to help with other issues.

Sohard

Thanks for this advice. I am seeing a therapist to deal with this grief. I guess I just hadn't been aware of how much I was trying to squash it with alcohol. The intensity of the feelings bubbling up were a shock to me.

Sohard

Thanks for this the other day. In my 12 days of sobriety, I have realized that I drank for two reasons:

1. Addiction (which I knew)
2. To crush overwhelming emotions (which I didn't know)

I'm seeing a grief counselor/psychiatrist and not drinking and reading SR regularly. But gosh I'd love to have a bottle of wine and be able to take off the TRYING and effort I always need to expend (on life) for a night. Just take a break for a night.

Stayingsassy

To a certain extent the escape of the bottle will always call to us. But it lessens so much over time. 12 days is wonderful, so hard! Almost two weeks! You’re doing this.

Sohard

Thank you. It feels good to know others recognize the comfort in the escape, too. Thanks so much.