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Old 10-15-2017, 06:05 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Love that you're already reaping unexpected rewards from sobriety - isn't it fab that you connected with those children and they want you back for more.

One way that Halloween and Christmas and the like can be more fun sober than drunk is by getting in on the children's fun and festivities. Kid's really do know how to enjoy themselves without booze, and can teach us a thing or two in that regard.

How are you feeling today?

BB
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Old 10-15-2017, 06:19 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
Love that you're already reaping unexpected rewards from sobriety - isn't it fab that you connected with those children and they want you back for more.

One way that Halloween and Christmas and the like can be more fun sober than drunk is by getting in on the children's fun and festivities. Kid's really do know how to enjoy themselves without booze, and can teach us a thing or two in that regard.

How are you feeling today?

BB
I'm feeling great - thank you! I got up and went on a long walk this morning, which I never would've done after a night out. It's kinda weird, bc I'm starting to see family members' problem drinking habits (although not NEARLY like I was), and it makes me a bit sad for them. But, I guess I better keep my mouth shut or else then I'll be that person who thinks just bc I quit, everyone has too. I don't think my sister needs to quit, but, her husband is clearly an alcoholic (as she knows) and becomes a bad influence on my sister. She'll have 4 bottles a week, which, while barely any compared to my old habits, is not healthy or good. I notIced she twice said how she was done for the night, and he twice refilled her red wine bc he doesn't like to drink alone, and then my sister finished them both times, because, hey, they were already poured and there. I guess I should stick my nose out of it and just focus on myself for now. Maybe, down the line, I can be some sort of positive role model.
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Old 10-15-2017, 06:52 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Give yourself a little time to get used to being sober.
6 days is awesome, but it's less than a week


Everyone thinks how will I do this or that or get through that without drinking...but you will.

You just do

Everything that seems strange and unfamiliar and insurmountable know, won't stay that way.

I love sober life - I wouldn;t be sober if I felt I lost out on the deal - noone would.

Have a little faith - it'll all be ok

D
A delayed thanks for this note, Dee!
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Old 10-15-2017, 07:26 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
I'm feeling great - thank you! I got up and went on a long walk this morning, which I never would've done after a night out. It's kinda weird, bc I'm starting to see family members' problem drinking habits (although not NEARLY like I was), and it makes me a bit sad for them. But, I guess I better keep my mouth shut or else then I'll be that person who thinks just bc I quit, everyone has too. I don't think my sister needs to quit, but, her husband is clearly an alcoholic (as she knows) and becomes a bad influence on my sister. She'll have 4 bottles a week, which, while barely any compared to my old habits, is not healthy or good. I notIced she twice said how she was done for the night, and he twice refilled her red wine bc he doesn't like to drink alone, and then my sister finished them both times, because, hey, they were already poured and there. I guess I should stick my nose out of it and just focus on myself for now. Maybe, down the line, I can be some sort of positive role model.
Yes- definitely don't get involved in that. Just focus on your side of the street. Once they see how great sobriety and recovery is for you, perhaps you will be the catalyst for them to reconsider the role of alcohol in their lives, but until that time restraint of tongue might be in order. I find that a good mental gauge of when to say something (that I was taught to use by an old member of AA) is to ask myself "Does it NEED to be said? Does it need to be said NOW? Does it need to be said by ME?" And if the answer to any of those questions is 'no' then I try to curb my wobbly-gob (sometimes even successfully lol).

Glad you're feeling good.

BB
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Old 10-15-2017, 07:52 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Sohard View Post
. And I lie there thinking of how I centered my life 100% around alcohol. And how hard it'll be not to have that at Christmas parties, vacations, etc. I KNOW I can't drink, bc I definitely did not limit it to those special occasions. I'm still frustrated, though, I can't be a nonalcoholic who can enjoy a nice holiday buzz or something. I guess I should feel lucky, though, I'm in the place I am now instead of in the place I was 6 days ago (and I do), it's just hard. I'm off to my sister's tonight where everyone will be drinking wine. I won't drink, but it will feel so strange and so hard.
i can relate to that. i found the problem wasnt that i couldnt enjoy events without alcohol. the problem was that i didnt know how to. i had to learn how. the first year of recovery was full of firsts- first 4th of july sober, first birthday sober, first thanksgiving, christams,new years...... i felt a little different for all them firsts.
what i had to do was change how i viewed them- insted of what i could get out of those occasions, i had to see what i could add to them to make them more enjoyable.
then there were concerts and sporting events. my very first concert sober was something else. crosby,still, and nash( yeah, old people music! LOL). which i was 2 or so years sober at the time.
i went with a group of people in recovery. until that time i thought everyone at concerts was either drinking, smokin dope, or both. it was quite eye opening to see that wasnt the case.
ive been to sprting events and concerts since- last concert metallica back in july. not everyone there was smokin dope and drinking, but there was definatly a lot of it happening around me.
and i had an excellent time.
when i go to any event whether it be a party,wedding,concert, sporting event,etc i have 3 very important criteria in place:
1- the right motive.i have to have a legitimate reason for being there. if im just lookin to steal a little pleasure from the atmosphere, not a good idea to go.
2- be in fit spiritual condition.
3- an escape route. i may have a moment of non clarity and need to get out ASAP. my sobriety is the most valuable posession i have and must protect it at any cost.

i didnt do any of those events for quite some time. i think that concert was the first major even i went to where there was alcohol. i had to work on my thinking- work on my alcoholic mind and get that straightened out beforehand.
that took T.I.M.E.
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Old 10-15-2017, 07:53 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
Yes- definitely don't get involved in that. Just focus on your side of the street. Once they see how great sobriety and recovery is for you, perhaps you will be the catalyst for them to reconsider the role of alcohol in their lives, but until that time restraint of tongue might be in order. I find that a good mental gauge of when to say something (that I was taught to use by an old member of AA) is to ask myself "Does it NEED to be said? Does it need to be said NOW? Does it need to be said by ME?" And if the answer to any of those questions is 'no' then I try to curb my wobbly-gob (sometimes even successfully lol).

Glad you're feeling good.

BB
Thank you!
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Old 10-26-2017, 03:08 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
i can relate to that. i found the problem wasnt that i couldnt enjoy events without alcohol. the problem was that i didnt know how to. i had to learn how. the first year of recovery was full of firsts- first 4th of july sober, first birthday sober, first thanksgiving, christams,new years...... i felt a little different for all them firsts.
what i had to do was change how i viewed them- insted of what i could get out of those occasions, i had to see what i could add to them to make them more enjoyable.
then there were concerts and sporting events. my very first concert sober was something else. crosby,still, and nash( yeah, old people music! LOL). which i was 2 or so years sober at the time.
i went with a group of people in recovery. until that time i thought everyone at concerts was either drinking, smokin dope, or both. it was quite eye opening to see that wasnt the case.
ive been to sprting events and concerts since- last concert metallica back in july. not everyone there was smokin dope and drinking, but there was definatly a lot of it happening around me.
and i had an excellent time.
when i go to any event whether it be a party,wedding,concert, sporting event,etc i have 3 very important criteria in place:
1- the right motive.i have to have a legitimate reason for being there. if im just lookin to steal a little pleasure from the atmosphere, not a good idea to go.
2- be in fit spiritual condition.
3- an escape route. i may have a moment of non clarity and need to get out ASAP. my sobriety is the most valuable posession i have and must protect it at any cost.

i didnt do any of those events for quite some time. i think that concert was the first major even i went to where there was alcohol. i had to work on my thinking- work on my alcoholic mind and get that straightened out beforehand.
that took T.I.M.E.
I'm sorry I just saw this. I'm glad I did, though. Very helpful!
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