corriec

Well, here I am at the end of another dry week, and a little proud of myself. I say LITTLE, because I've gone much longer before. What scares me, though, is that there is the weekend ahead. Another lonely weekend where I hide at home because it hurts to see other people (couples), happy and enjoying life. This is the sixteenth weekend that I spend alone; my wife left me on the 26th of June, and I miss her terribly sometimes. We talk on the phone almost every day (she lives in Capetown with my daughter; 1000 miles away), and I feel like s*** afterwards sometimes. But weekends are the worst; it's the time when that little voice tells you all the time - what the hell for? Why be alone and sober? Get the hell out there and drink and enjoy life, man. Get motherless and socialize and maybe tomorrow you won't wake up alone! And screw the old liver and spleen and everything else - who knows: tomorrow you may die in a accident; or North Korea might blow up the world, or, or...
I'm lucky in one sense, though. She left me the two dogs and the cat, and they all looove me...

Stayingsassy

Good for you for five days. Now you're sober, so you can just continue on. AA can make you feel less alone, maybe try a Friday night meeting.

Done4today

5 days is great. Keep up the good work. Not sure where you are but Meet up groups, run clubs, cycling clubs, gyms and/or churches are good places to socialize without booze being involved.

Good luck

Outonthetiles

I hear you on the lonely weekends. I went through that and worse. I survived and thrived and you can too.

FBL

Weekends were very tough for me at first, for that's when I really went to town with my drinking. Stay busy and keep focused on today and you should be fine.

Dee74

Kick that AV into touch like a springbok, Corrie.

Everyone deserves to be the best someone they be - and every kid deserves the best parents in the world

D

Obladi

Corrie,

That little voice will be there. There's no getting around it in the beginning. Disregard. Disregard.

Find or plan activities that will distract you and prevent you from getting any liquor. For me, it was hours upon hours of Netflix + don't leave the house for any reason. Seems like a waste, but it would be a way bigger waste to **** the weekend away on booze. At least the distraction route allows you to come out on Monday with your Sober Ribbon in hand.

Just Don't Drink

O

p.s. You should be a LOT proud of your 5 days. It's your addiction that's trying to poo-poo that. Disregard that nasty little bugger.

Culture

Hi corriec. It's always tough to begin with. I'm on my 12th weekend(I think?)
I live alone and it can be tough to fill up the time, sometimes everyone seems part of a couple, but their not always happy that's just an illusion (as you know yourself)
Do you have any single non-drinking friends you could hang out with?
Failing that, keep busy.
It works for me.

shauninspain

You're going through a horrible rollercoaster ride of emotions right now. I have been in your position and the sense of loneliness is crushing, isn't it. Sometimes it feels as if we cannot breathe. The thought of numbing everything can be overwhelmingly strong. After all, all it would take is a 5 minute walk to the local convenience store and hey presto, you could numb some of that pain. Problem is there's no such thing as a free lunch. You'd wake up tomorrow morning, with exactly the same mental anguish. Indeed, maybe a lot more. We can do a lot of insane things when drunk/blacked out. Alcohol is not the answer, and it solves nothing.

Sending my support your way corriec. The pain will pass if it is allowed to do so. Imbue alcohol and the pain will NEVER stop.

Dee74

Hows it going Corriec?

D

corriec

Hi, Dee. Sunday afternoon, one PM. I'm hanging in there, thanks to SR friends, and a little voice (another one...ha, ha) that screamed at me this morning when I took that half-a-bottle of whiskey out of the cupboard, where I stashed it last Sunday morning; The intention was to just finish it because then there would be no more temptation around. But then some - methinks, divine intervention - stepped in, as it did yesterday, just saying "NO"! I drank a large glass of water and lemon juice, and the lusting/yearning/longing sort of just faded away. Eating gums and chips and drinking coke, which I know is not good, but definitely the lesser of the two evils, right?
It's night time in OZ, I know, and I wish you a great week ahead.

Arpeggioh

Whoa! You're sitting at home alone, with whiskey in the house? Dude!

If only there were some other way to get rid of it, without drinking it...

Make a symbolic gesture toward staying sober, a heart-felt ritual sacrifice over the toilet! Just my own experience, but I could not stay sober with booze in the house, not even close...

Obladi

17 days ago, I calmly and (almost) without thought walked into the bathroom and poured out close to a fifth of vodka. No ceremony, no fireworks, no fervent vows.

For me, the lack of drama was some sort of matter of fact acknowledgement that I'm beat. Not sad or mad or feeling bad; just done with that insanity.

Have a ceremony or not - get rid of the booze.

O

tomsteve

im not sure how things work down in OZ, but cant a bottle be dumped down the drain or out in the yard????

Outonthetiles

Keeping booze in the house is your AV's way of stringing you along until it can strike. You have to dump that sh!t out immediately, no ceremony, no selfies with the bottle posted to facebook, no heartfelt vows of "never again," just dump it out. I actually recommend taking a big rock and breaking the bottle in the backyard.

FBL

Dump it where it belongs...down the drain!

Dee74

I'm in Oz, Corrie's in South Africa

Hope you're doing ok Corrie

D

calvinm16

I'm much more lonely now that my friend Alcohol isn't there for me anymore. But the longer I've been sober (59 days) I've been realizing that alcohol wasn't my friend, it was that back stabbing friend that closes you off from other circles and drags you into their trouble. I've realized I'm not even lonely now like I was with my friend alcohol, being friends with alcohol was the loneliest, saddest, anxious and most depressed I've ever been in my 24 years of life.

The things you're "hearing" in your head are your subconscious mind trying to rationalize why it would be a good idea to drink. Very common questions you'll ask yourself on a daily basis if you're anything like me are, "why me? Oh hell with it.. Just 1, just have fun." all of these things.

What you will realize is that you can have fun without alcohol, you can still go out and socialize and even tell people you're a recovering alcoholic. (to your own discretion).

I was petrified to go to parties or hangout with old drinking buddies but you know what, I had the most fun hanging out with drunks being sober. I had way more conversation with the ladies and got to laugh at everyone stumbling around and being stupid. I left feeling completely happy, clear headed and remembering every good time and persons name I met.

I NEVER had fun like that at a party in my life while drinking. You don't have to drink to have fun or meet people. I go out all the time and have fun without drinking.

calvinm16

Good job resisting temptations. You need to dump that bottle into the sink and any other alcohol in your house if you plan to successfully recover. I also realize a lot of the time when I'm having intense cravings I'm actually just hungry, thirsty or tired.

Soda & chips probably help because they're full of carbs & sugar which is something alcohol provides. So you're kinda replacing it. I know snickers, pepsi & ginger beer (0.00% abv) helped me get through the first couple weeks.

Obladi

Hey Corrie,

Whassup?

O