One year sober Today!
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
One year sober Today!
Well its been one year since I had a drink. It's hard to believe to be honest. I was thinking about when the last time I went a year without a drink, and I'm pretty sure I was 13. That's 33 years ago.
I pretty much drank my entire adult life. It never caused me any real problems in my 20's and 30's, but looking back on it now it did. I just overlooked it. The hard drinking started when I started a new career about 11 years ago. Prior to that I drank a couple of drinks a day during the week and hard on the weekends. The new job was a lot of pressure (100% commission based) and I used alcohol to easy the stress. Started off drinking a few drinks after work (as usual) but that gradually escalated to a 12 pack a day at minimum. Then something changed. Not sure why but I started to center my life around it. It didn't happen all at once but slowly I needed it more and more. The real issues started about 4/5 years ago. I started to have anxieties that I never had before. Going certain places without alcohol became difficult. The beer stopped easing my nerves and started making things harder and harder. The only time I felt any relief was when I was drinking. My physical and mental health began to go down hill. I really began to hate who I was and what I had become. When I was young I despised drunks ( In my mind they were weak) and now that's who I was.
Then one year ago today I was laying in bed with a hangover, of course, and I said to myself I can't go on like this anymore. I'd said this before and by the time I got out of bed I would come up with a reason to drink that day, but for some reason that day was different. I said if not today then when? I couldn't think of an answer. I got up but I didn't make an excuse to drink. I struggled a lot in the beginning because I originally thought that if I quit drinking everything would get better. Well it didn't. I mean it did but it didn't. Not sure if that makes sense.
Well I searched on the net for answers when I found this place. When I came here I had been sober a few months and I was not getting much better. I was sober but that is about it. This place made me realize that I was not the only one that felt the way I felt or was struggling so bad to figure out who I was. I had drank my entire life and that was my identity. As sad as that is it was true. I learned that I had to establish a new me. I had to forgive myself.
Well I can't tell any of you that it was easy cause it wasn't. It took a lot of work and I struggled a lot. Not so much to not drink (that was hard too) but to establish a new me. Believe me I still haven't fully figured it out yet but I'm getting there.
I want to say thank you to all of those here that helped me early on, whether you know it or not you are a big reason why I am sober today.
Thank you!
I pretty much drank my entire adult life. It never caused me any real problems in my 20's and 30's, but looking back on it now it did. I just overlooked it. The hard drinking started when I started a new career about 11 years ago. Prior to that I drank a couple of drinks a day during the week and hard on the weekends. The new job was a lot of pressure (100% commission based) and I used alcohol to easy the stress. Started off drinking a few drinks after work (as usual) but that gradually escalated to a 12 pack a day at minimum. Then something changed. Not sure why but I started to center my life around it. It didn't happen all at once but slowly I needed it more and more. The real issues started about 4/5 years ago. I started to have anxieties that I never had before. Going certain places without alcohol became difficult. The beer stopped easing my nerves and started making things harder and harder. The only time I felt any relief was when I was drinking. My physical and mental health began to go down hill. I really began to hate who I was and what I had become. When I was young I despised drunks ( In my mind they were weak) and now that's who I was.
Then one year ago today I was laying in bed with a hangover, of course, and I said to myself I can't go on like this anymore. I'd said this before and by the time I got out of bed I would come up with a reason to drink that day, but for some reason that day was different. I said if not today then when? I couldn't think of an answer. I got up but I didn't make an excuse to drink. I struggled a lot in the beginning because I originally thought that if I quit drinking everything would get better. Well it didn't. I mean it did but it didn't. Not sure if that makes sense.
Well I searched on the net for answers when I found this place. When I came here I had been sober a few months and I was not getting much better. I was sober but that is about it. This place made me realize that I was not the only one that felt the way I felt or was struggling so bad to figure out who I was. I had drank my entire life and that was my identity. As sad as that is it was true. I learned that I had to establish a new me. I had to forgive myself.
Well I can't tell any of you that it was easy cause it wasn't. It took a lot of work and I struggled a lot. Not so much to not drink (that was hard too) but to establish a new me. Believe me I still haven't fully figured it out yet but I'm getting there.
I want to say thank you to all of those here that helped me early on, whether you know it or not you are a big reason why I am sober today.
Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,246
Thank you so much for your post. I feel I am struggling with the same issues.....who am I now, without alcohol. Life is so much better without alcohol but this sober journey is much more complicated than I thought.
Congratulations on one year. A wonderful achievement.
Congratulations on one year. A wonderful achievement.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by ljc267 
Well its been one year since I had a drink. It's hard to believe to be honest. I was thinking about when the last time I went a year without a drink, and I'm pretty sure I was 13. That's 33 years ago.
I pretty much drank my entire adult life. It never caused me any real problems in my 20's and 30's, but looking back on it now it did. I just overlooked it. The hard drinking started when I started a new career about 11 years ago. Prior to that I drank a couple of drinks a day during the week and hard on the weekends. The new job was a lot of pressure (100% commission based) and I used alcohol to easy the stress. Started off drinking a few drinks after work (as usual) but that gradually escalated to a 12 pack a day at minimum. Then something changed. Not sure why but I started to center my life around it. It didn't happen all at once but slowly I needed it more and more. The real issues started about 4/5 years ago. I started to have anxieties that I never had before. Going certain places without alcohol became difficult. The beer stopped easing my nerves and started making things harder and harder. The only time I felt any relief was when I was drinking. My physical and mental health began to go down hill. I really began to hate who I was and what I had become. When I was young I despised drunks ( In my mind they were weak) and now that's who I was.
Then one year ago today I was laying in bed with a hangover, of course, and I said to myself I can't go on like this anymore. I'd said this before and by the time I got out of bed I would come up with a reason to drink that day, but for some reason that day was different. I said if not today then when? I couldn't think of an answer. I got up but I didn't make an excuse to drink. I struggled a lot in the beginning because I originally thought that if I quit drinking everything would get better. Well it didn't. I mean it did but it didn't. Not sure if that makes sense.
Well I searched on the net for answers when I found this place. When I came here I had been sober a few months and I was not getting much better. I was sober but that is about it. This place made me realize that I was not the only one that felt the way I felt or was struggling so bad to figure out who I was. I had drank my entire life and that was my identity. As sad as that is it was true. I learned that I had to establish a new me. I had to forgive myself.
Well I can't tell any of you that it was easy cause it wasn't. It took a lot of work and I struggled a lot. Not so much to not drink (that was hard too) but to establish a new me. Believe me I still haven't fully figured it out yet but I'm getting there.
I want to say thank you to all of those here that helped me early on, whether you know it or not you are a big reason why I am sober today.
Thank you!
I pretty much drank my entire adult life. It never caused me any real problems in my 20's and 30's, but looking back on it now it did. I just overlooked it. The hard drinking started when I started a new career about 11 years ago. Prior to that I drank a couple of drinks a day during the week and hard on the weekends. The new job was a lot of pressure (100% commission based) and I used alcohol to easy the stress. Started off drinking a few drinks after work (as usual) but that gradually escalated to a 12 pack a day at minimum. Then something changed. Not sure why but I started to center my life around it. It didn't happen all at once but slowly I needed it more and more. The real issues started about 4/5 years ago. I started to have anxieties that I never had before. Going certain places without alcohol became difficult. The beer stopped easing my nerves and started making things harder and harder. The only time I felt any relief was when I was drinking. My physical and mental health began to go down hill. I really began to hate who I was and what I had become. When I was young I despised drunks ( In my mind they were weak) and now that's who I was.
Then one year ago today I was laying in bed with a hangover, of course, and I said to myself I can't go on like this anymore. I'd said this before and by the time I got out of bed I would come up with a reason to drink that day, but for some reason that day was different. I said if not today then when? I couldn't think of an answer. I got up but I didn't make an excuse to drink. I struggled a lot in the beginning because I originally thought that if I quit drinking everything would get better. Well it didn't. I mean it did but it didn't. Not sure if that makes sense.
Well I searched on the net for answers when I found this place. When I came here I had been sober a few months and I was not getting much better. I was sober but that is about it. This place made me realize that I was not the only one that felt the way I felt or was struggling so bad to figure out who I was. I had drank my entire life and that was my identity. As sad as that is it was true. I learned that I had to establish a new me. I had to forgive myself.
Well I can't tell any of you that it was easy cause it wasn't. It took a lot of work and I struggled a lot. Not so much to not drink (that was hard too) but to establish a new me. Believe me I still haven't fully figured it out yet but I'm getting there.
I want to say thank you to all of those here that helped me early on, whether you know it or not you are a big reason why I am sober today.
Thank you!
Sober AF Since 3/20/16
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: WI - Where alcohol abuse is a sacrement
Posts: 157
Congrats on 1 year. My healing really began to accelerate at that point, with the benefits of recovery being so much more tangible than during year 1. I wish you continued success and happiness!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Chicago
Posts: 605
Thanks everyone! It makes me fell good that others can relate to what I went through. I hope that my experience will help someone the way your stories motivated me to stay sober.
I know one thing for certain. If I can do it you can.
One thing that really helped me this year and it seems like a no brainer but it is the one thing that always caused my to fail in the past.
I finally realized that I could never drink again. Not one weekend, not one day, not one drink. Ever. That used to scare the sh*t out of me, but once I was certain that I could never drink again, and took that option of the table I was able to move forward, and not stay in the past.
I know one thing for certain. If I can do it you can.
One thing that really helped me this year and it seems like a no brainer but it is the one thing that always caused my to fail in the past.
I finally realized that I could never drink again. Not one weekend, not one day, not one drink. Ever. That used to scare the sh*t out of me, but once I was certain that I could never drink again, and took that option of the table I was able to move forward, and not stay in the past.
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