IMHomerSimpson

I did it again.I went out Sunday and drank about 16 beers throughout the day.The last bar I was at people were trying to get my keys(good people) and one even offered me a ride home because I was so drunk.He had to **** before we left so as soon as I saw the bathroom door close I ran for my car and took off.Total blackout the whole ride home.Luckily I did not kill someone,I dont matter cuz I was the drunk driver,but I survived and made it home.I came home to an empty house,staggering and bouncing off all our furniture and belongings,leaving a unintended path of destruction behind me.I made it upstairs,to sleep I would imagine but decided to go back down for something I guess.You probably know what happened next.Head first from the top step all the way down.I kind of remember laying there for a very long time,nobody home and I could not move,from being drunk and hurt.Finally somehow I made it back up the stairs and to my bed.I fractured 2 ribs,very bad sprained ankle,sprained shoulder,and a knot on the side of my face and head the size of half a basketball.I must have passed out but woke up in morning wanting to die,from the pain and disappointment in myself.Wife told me what she came home to and I really dont need to say anymore.Thankfully my kids did not see any of this happen.For the 1st time I told my parents,co-workers,and other family members about how big my alcohol problem really is,very upsetting experience for everyone.While at the doctor he noticed my eyes were yellow so he ran more liver tests and I have not heard from him yet.Why? Why? Why? I hurt inside and out sooo bad.

Dan

You do matter Homer, drunk or sober.
But I gotta tell you man, you're running out of lives.
In a hurry. Is it going to take killing some innocent bystander for you to get sober?
I bet you're hurting.

Chy

What were you seeking when you picked up that first drink?

Chy

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=41729

IMHomerSimpson

What was I seeking? I really dont know,Chy.Im sorry I cant answer that question.And Dan,the physical pain is far worse than the mental pain,so far.But without drinking,Im sure I have more pain on the way.

Chy

No Homer, WITH drinking there is more pain on the way. Come on man, you can do this! Try to answer the question, and then ask why you wanted those things you were seeking. It is a tough question, but worthy of thought. *hugs*

Dan

Without drinking, you'll have the rest of your life.
With the drink, it's only a question of time.
You know and I know that you can't drink responsibly. Drinking doesn't erase the other things in your life that are not right. It simply masks them, or makes them invisible, for a short time.
But you always end up with yourself, like it or not.
Drop the dime Homer. You lost this fight. The booze wins.
Get well, and start fighting the good fight.
Reclaiming your life.
You'll heal your body.
But you got to heal your mind too eh?
Chy asks a tough question. Yep.
You're a stubborn ol' coot Homer. Just like me.
Do you remember that post that Jon wrote to you a while back? Go and read it bro.
'Cause you're not that far from some of the things he describes. How do I know this you ask? You're me Homer, and I'm you.
I'm glad you're alive buddy.

degadar

Hi Homer,

Just think though, that doesn't ever have to happen again. If coming within a gnat's whisker of many years inside and the lifetime's guilt of having killed somebody's son or daughter doesn't bring you to the point of quitting, not a lot else will. It certainly did the trick for me.

You're a marvel for coming back Homer, but as Dan said, the toad of time is hopping ever closer to the food blender of destiny - and it's your sober finger that's resting on the button.

Hopefully that bang on the head was for a purpose? It might just have done the trick.

Deg.

IMHomerSimpson

man,thank you people soo freakin much,NoMoBeer too(my email buddy).Got me a good alcoholic book that I picked up again.I feel strong but have said that oh so many times.thanx again,friends

mikee

Hi homer I'm 1 week new here, I hope for ur wellness man, and stay alive !

Dunitall

Homer

I think your last episode was a wake up call from your HP.

You can do something about it today! Get along to an AA meeting and either just listen or share your experience. Nobody here or in the AA fellowship will judge you. All it takes is your desire to get and stay sober. There's lots of help here if you really want it.

Keep it in the day and keep on keepin' on.

Rich

NoMoBeer

We can both do this! I am seeing too much of 'me' in the future (Homer's stuff, my sponsor's liver problems, my still-practicing Mom's misery, an alcoholic brother who has disappeared from everyone, etc....) to go back to drinking, and I pray to God that I can keep that first one away this time. It ALWAYS leads back down the same path.

For me, it's back to meetings and get working on my program. I talked a good game in the past, now I must walk the walk.

Homer, we can do this buddy -- I only have web email access at home, but more than happy to keep the mail going back and forth and here on the board, let's push through the bull$hit and live our lives!

Ken

IMHomerSimpson

Hey NoMo,I also have been talking too much and not enough effort in quitting.Im with you,I cant go through painful days like the last couple anymore.Everytime I move I feel intense pain in my ribs,which makes me so mad Im a drunk.Saw the guy who offered me a ride home sunday today,all he did was nod his head at me side to side,basically without speaking calling me a total screw-up.I feel good on my third day without beers,but need to start looking ahead to when the pain subsides and I start downplaying my huge drinking problem like I always do.

problemchild

Homer ,

It seems to me that you have been peeking in my windows....... I am the same as you when it comes to alcohol really gave me the willys to read someone elses post that mirrored my life to a T.. God Bless and I hope we will get this stuff right before we kill ourselves or worse someone else...

IMHomerSimpson

Its a pretty sucky way to live,huh? My doc calls me yesterday and basically forces me to have a ct scan on my head because of the fall,says I was on his mind since I saw him and regretted not sending me that day(another good Dr.).Anyways,all is clear.Tomorrow is sinus doc to see about some infection in my sinuses that showed up on mri and now ct scan too.Im still recovering from my fall,luckily I can walk again but the ribs still hurt with every breath,all thanks to my poor choice to drink when I should not have.Sober 4 days today.

Chy

Good job! Hope all goes well with the doc.

duckman13

Dude, you have to give yourself a break. I know your a great person, but I will guarantee you"re 30 times better when you're sober. Sounds like you're bored and depressed. Try finding something to occupy your time with. soul search also, I mean really soul search
give a good cry if you need too. you have just got to want to do it. there is nothing wrong with sobriety you laugh the same, have fun the same, but you actually remember it in the morning. I believe you can do it. Please for the sake of the others if you happen to slip let these nice people ride you home.

duckman13

Hey homer four days here too!!! look in the mirror and tell yourself I am the best and I won't lose. (smack) that's a high-five!!!!!!

duckman13

Nice to meet you Mike keep it coming. I'll be a week on Sunday

thinkingofwhen22

I can relate with your self loathing and dissapointment,but one thing man don't endanger others with you habbit. I do almost all my drinking at home and don't do bars and clubs unless someone else drives. Its one thing to destroy ourselves but you dont destroy others.