anxiousrock

Had about 14 drinks. I want more.

Ken33xx

Steely

Didn't we all.

Hope you do manage to stop. My best wishes.

JeffreyAK

I hope you come back and read this after you've sobered up and feel like hell, and notice how that little voice lied when it convinced you that you wanted more and more, when deep down you knew that nothing good would come from it.

ChloeRose63

I drank, too and could not stop until all the beer was gone. I have no idea why but, when I chose to drink I just craved more and more. Feel awful and really miss my sobriety.

anxiousrock

I guess the sad thing is that I'm not drunk lol.

anxiousrock

I'm worry to hear that. I chose to drink too.

anxiousrock

I had already stoped after writing this.
Sadly it takes many more to get me drunk. I was just upset that I drank at all.

Dee74

Many of us faltered a time or two Anarock.

Best thing to do is look back at what happened, think about what you could do differently, decide what you need to add to your recovery programme and then...keep on walking forward.

D

treeguy24

I recently started again after almost 60 days of sobriety. I was feeling great and never wanted to go back there, yet I did. I tried to convince myself that I could handle it and drink moderately. Well I can't. I guess when on the first time you drink you are able to "moderate" yourself to only 4 shots of vodka and you consider that good then you know there is an issue. Or that the thought of only having a drink or two is laughable is a warning sign.

The key here is that when you remember how good you think alcohol made you feel, remember the times it made you feel sicker than a dog. Would you rather wake up with a headache or wake up feeling refreshed, maybe hit the gym, go for a walk, etc.? These are things I have to remind myself.

Once you take that first drink everything changes in an instant, and grabs you and pulls you in. The key is to not drink. Just don't do it. I have to tell myself that today.

Awake61

Indeed the first drink does take you back into the horror. Let us not go there anymore....

anxiousrock

You guys make it sound easy "don't drink".
So I counted what I drank and it was 12 drinks over the span of about 7 hours.
I was never out of control, or sick, or anything bad.
For me that's a win I guess. I used to just drink and never stop. I would have kept drinking until 3am and not stop early.
Now I am ready to be sober again.

fini

Anarock,
what you're saying there is this:
i chose this,
i was never out of control,
never anything bad,
that's a win,
now i'm ready to be sober again.

okay. with this kind of "win" in your pocket, why be sober? do you see? if you're freely choosing, and in control, and nothing bad happens and you get neither drunk nor sick....then why would you actually get sober? or want to get and stay sober?

possibly there is more to the story?

JeffreyAK

12 drinks in a day is a huge amount of alcohol. I used to drink that much routinely during the week, when I had to go to work the next day, and I never got wild or did crazy things or threw up. The only reason I was able to drink that much was because I had a huge tolerance built up from being an addict. And when I occasionally decided to drink 9 instead of 12, I'd pat myself on the back, "See, there, I can control it!", and the next night I'd drink 14.

dwtbd

"You guys make it sound easy "don't drink". "

I think the message that is trying to be conveyed , is that the solution is simple, don't drink, not necessarily that it is easy, but once you decide to quit for good, fullstop, it does get easier.

treeguy24

I don't think anyone here will tell you "don't drink" is easy. The fact is is that the solution to becoming sober is very easy, but it's also one of the hardest things you might have to face (if that makes any sense??). Quitting is easy by no means for most people, and I think most will attest that it can be a daily struggle. It does however get easier the longer you stay sober, and once you begin to focus on other, more important things in life you will find your preoccupation with alcohol won't be as important as those other things. Whether it's a job, school, hobbies, etc.

ChloeRose63

I am 30 hours into my sobriety. So darn tired and anxious. I think I slept for 2 hours last night. Counting the hours til I feel better. I really drank way to much. 3 18 packs in 3 days of beer. I can't remember much of those days all I remember was constantly drinking all day and into the early morning. I think I might of passed out in bed but really never got a good nights sleep. I can't wait to be able to function again.
This behavior has got to stop. Why do I think drinking is a solution? I need to have a better plan for when my AV demands a beer. I had no control and spent money I don't have on alcohol. Trying not to get depressed but, I really hate what I have done to myself. My head is a mess.

silentrun

That's what I noticed about the post too. It's amazing how our perception about what is reasonable becomes altered during our illness. I thought it was bizarre that anything over 3 drinks was considered binge drinking. If I think back to my younger days I remember one night I drank 6 drinks and spent the rest of the night horribly sick, vomiting, and waiting for it to wear off. By the time I ended up realizing I needed to end the madness 6 drinks was nothing to me. I would have considered that an easy night if I could have kept it to that.

silentrun

When my AV came at me early on I didn't engage it. I threw that feeling you have right now back at it. Eventually I learned to associate feeling sick and afraid with drinking.

ChloeRose63

Ya. I have tried to remember how sick I get when I drink.
I really don't know why it doesn't matter until it is too late. I have to get more serious about quitting before it is too late.