treeguy24

Been a while since I posted but I've been off alcohol for probably around a month or so. Don't know the exact date because I haven't been keeping track. But it's come at the price that I've been using painkillers everyday since. I need not tell anyone the usual, started with a little bit and by now I already have a high tolerance. Doesn't help that I used to use opiates a couple years ago.
'sigh

I honestly don't have the drive to want to get off either. I enjoy the fact that I can take them and not worry about the hangover alcohol brings...however I know sooner or later I will deal with WD if I keep taking more and more.

I also feel somewhat ashamed that I have this problem. I guess I want to stop but I don't. I honestly don't know why I am posting this if I am not ready to commit to sobriety, but I suppose the knowledge that I am part of an online support system makes me feel somewhat better. :/

Stayingsassy

Be careful with those opiates, tree guy. You may not get a hangover but they are still dangerous, I hope you can get sober soon.

Dee74

You'll know this if you've been hooked on opiates before, but you really will regret not nipping this in the bud now Treeguy.

Take a read though the substance abuse forum.

D

Dropsie

Dont do it, my favourite person just died from opiates -- its just too dangerous.

You matter to us.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss Dropsie,

D

treeguy24

My condolences for your loss.

Hawkeye13

I'm sorry Dropsie--

treeguy, the opiates truly will lead you to hell and bankruptcy quick as the booze, or quicker.

They are also very hard to kick--in fact, dual addiction is just a place you don't
want to go ever.

treeguy24

I stopped alcohol use when I started using. I know the dangers of mixing the two and that wasn't something I wanted to get into. I know how hard they are to kick, I'm already at that point. Not as bad as some people maybe, but at a point where I already feel powerless to them. I can hear a part of me saying I wish I was not doing this but I have absolutely zero motivation to stay away. I love them and I hate them at the same time.

But, thanks for taking the time to respond. I appreciate the comments / advice.

Dropsie

And you never reply know what you are taking....

Thanks for your kind thoughts, what a loss to the world. Best guy I knew, really, the best.

So sad.

BullDog777

Man...opiates are scary s#it. I've lost several friends to painkillers over the years.

Lemme ask you this...an I get why...I understand the struggle...i hear you.

What's holding you back from just going to the ER and telling them you're in trouble?

You can always leave. Nobody can hold you there. Maybe there's some options you haven't thought of to get some help.

Stayingsassy

Wow. That sounds pretty much exactly like what would happen to me if I played with opiates. With first my raging sugar addiction then my alcohol addiction I can see where that path would take me and it makes me shudder. I didn’t want to quit drinking either, until the personal disaster point. Do you really want to wait for that?

laur24

I stopped using alcohol when I found opiates as well. I found alcohol canceled out the high I got from opiates. The opiates won't last though. It will take you down a dark road. I hit my bottom quick once I found opiates.

I spent so much money on opiates that I went broke. When the money ran out I went back to alcohol.

Just my experience.

treeguy24

Going to the ER would be pointless, I'm not at a point where I consider myself to need a medical detox.

Anyways, I am thinking about getting on a Suboxone program maybe. There is a medical practice right near where I live that specializes in opiate addiction, I already gave them a call and left a message.

treeguy24

One of the reasons I am thinking about getting on the Suboxone program. I know how much money one can blow on a habit like this.

ScottFromWI

I think seeking professional help is wise, whether it's the ER, a recovery clinic or just a general physician. It all needs to be paired with a genuine want/desire to quit too though...there is no magic pill that will just make you want to stop using/drinking forever.

Inchworm

I've read through this entire thread tonight and need to say what a fine group of folks make up SR. Treeguy - great idea. Let us know how it goes, will ya?

Hawkeye13

I get the not wanting to let it go tg, but imagine just a bit ahead.
Your minimum amount will go up, prescription stuff will get too expensive,
you'll look for cheaper on the street, and who knows what that is

Everything you've worked for will be lost--sold or hocked to keep it going
just a bit longer--friends and family will get angry and alienated from you
asking for money, still using, etc.

But the worst comes at the end of all that, when you have nothing to exchange
for the opiate high, and your craving is stronger than ever.

That's a hell like no other I hear--a Devil and Miss Jones ending where what
you most need is the thing you can't afford to buy and have nothing left
to exchange for it.

By then you'll be drinking or whatever you can do to offset the pain.
Maybe you'll mix one day and not wake up.

Think it can't happen? It does all the time.

You're already an addict to alcohol. You know this.
Sounds like you are clearly aware the opiates have you now too.
Shake off your complacency and save yourself--glad to hear you made appointment,
but reach out anywhere / anyway you can right now to fix this.

Really

laur24

This. Everything Hawkeye wrote.

scaredikklegoth

I hope you hear back from that place soon as opiates are an evil thing and so very dangerous.

Dropsie, I'm so sorry for your loss.

treeguy24

I didn't make any appointments yet as I would have to take care of health insurance first, but I did talk to the place this morning. It's more involved than just going there and getting a prescription for suboxone. There are regular drug screens to make sure you are not using, blood work, and they mandate you see a counselor. Honestly in the back of my mind I'm saying I rather just do this on my own then go through this big ordeal of making appointments, setting up an appointment with a counselor, etc.