leanabeana

I'm 51 days in and feeling just blah. I don't want to drink, but I also have no interest in going to meetings or working on myself. I've been feeling really bad physically (headaches, fatigue, etc.) and I think that has a lot to do with it. I can barely get myself to work everyday, much less do the hard work of recovery. I just hope this is a phase and it will pass. I don't want to risk relapse.

Dee74

Apathy and lack of energy can be the AV's greatest weapons leana - but you don't have to rebuild Rome either - you just need to stay sober.

Simple goals until your mood lifts and energy returns.

D

Ken33xx

Maybe two, three weeks into my sobriety I met a visitor at an AA meeting with 36 years. I couldn't believe it. 36 years! So, I asked this fellow after the meeting what was the secret to his sobriety. Give it to me in a nutshell I said. He told me, "Those who stay sober are those who appreciate their sobriety." Never forgot that and I have also never forgotten how unmanageable my life was when I walked into the rooms of AA for the first time. Because no matter how I might twist things the result is always the same: My life is better today than when I was drinking especially the last ten years of my drinking.

leanabeana

Thanks Dee an d Ken. I will focus on gratitude for being sober and simple goals. Today my goals are:

• Walk the dog
• Do the dishes
• Go to a meeting

Tomorrow I go to the doctor to figure out why I'm having these terrible headaches

JeffreyAK

I remember a lot of fatigue and lack of motivation early on, that improved gradually but continued for like 10 months before I started to feel normal and didn't need afternoon naps every day. But it does end, and I think it's just a sign that our bodies are rebuilding themselves and that it takes a lot of energy to do that - meanwhile there's less energy for other things. Doesn't mean we're on track to go back to drinking, though our addict voices would like to use that as an excuse.

nez

This tells you all you need to know and is your motivation. The fact that you posted here shows your motivation.

For me it came down to, trust the process, focus on the gains, and be grateful.

My worst day in sobriety is still light years ahead of the hell I experienced in active drinking.

biminiblue

Are you still off the Ambien?

I don't know much about it, but it seems like that in combo with your alcohol abstinence has got to be part of it.

Whatever it is, it will pass. One foot in front of the other, do the next right thing and all that...

It will get better. Hang on, you're doing great!

leanabeana

Thanks nez and blue.

I had to go back on the Ambien and do a slower taper. I only tapered for 5 days and that's just not enough apparently. My plan is to be off of it in two weeks. I thought the Ambien withdrawal might be the source of the headaches but taking it the last two nights have not helped. Maybe it's just too much upheaval for my poor brain and body.

waynetheking

Just don't drink. It gets better.

leanabeana

Thanks wayne. I forced myself to go to a meeting and it helped a bit. I'm still feeling really uninspired but I hope it's temporary.

I won't drink. I don't have the desire, so that helps.

NulaMeansZero

Apple cinder vinegar will pep you right up , mixed with some honey, hot water and Cheyenne pepper. Exercise, strenuous activity, Break your ways and do something entirely different.

Most importantly dont drink, 51 days is a great leap from getting hammered all the time , I know I was there.

Grab a flashlight and walk the neighborhood at night, or go on a morning hike or walk , you'll be surprised at how many people are active super early in the morning , I was....

Dont throw away 51 days to just do the vicious circle again....make a stand , if you not motivated , get outside and challenge your self.
Your body is a amazing piece of machinery , just need to give it a boost , mentally and physically.
You can do this!

leanabeana

Thanks Nula. I forgot about apple cider vinegar. I'll pick some up tomorrow.

I really need to get off my butt and snap out of it. Thanks for the words of encouragement.

I broke at 45 days during my last attempt at sobriety because I felt like this, so I need to be extra vigilant.

Stayingsassy

consider PAWS too: hits me hard at all the points the research says it should. It's done me in many times.

icoi87

I can relate to this a lot. The last time I tried to get sober I just felt like everything was a chore. Very "blah." I did end up drinking again and it just made things worse. I'm at 30 days now and this time around I'm feeling better but it's still not great all the time. I really like what everyone has said here. My worst day sober is a million times better than a day drinking. I never ever want to feel that way again.. sick, nauseas, anxious, hungover. Even the buzz toward the end just felt so crappy. Some days the only thing we can muster is to just not drink, and I think that's okay. Take care of your body. It sounds like you are <3

MindfulMan

My withdrawal was especially bad because I wasn't just off alcohol, I was off Lunesta (sister drug to Ambien).

They detoxed me from the alcohol taper while tapering the Lunesta. It all took about 9 days. The two are cross tolerant and affect many of the same receptors.

Five days for any benzo or benzo relative is extremely fast. Hopefully you're working with a doc that has addiction experience, GPs generally don't know how to do these tapers properly. In any event, take it nice and slow!

I'm 4 1/2 months in, and really only started feeling the energy return at about 90 days. It's still improving.