froghat

Tonight I'm trying to stop the trend because I often feel depressed and ashamed the next day, but this is my thinking right now. I'm 36 and I'm introverted as hell without friends or a girlfriend, I no longer get any excitement from hobbies or sports etc..., and pretty much bored 7 days a week. Why shouldn't I enjoy my off days the way I wanna? Who cares if I die at 69 instead of 89? Not getting much pleasure from being a healthy ok looking guy with a decent paying job. So, what's the point?

August252015

Well, for me, I could continue in the sort of thinking you have, the victim and the helplessness and (my) justification to keep drinking because of those kind of thoughts and feelings - until I died. Or I could quit and live - and having no idea what would happen, take a chance that it would be better than me and vodka.

Fortunately, it is even better than I imagined just staying alive could be. Because I found an actual LIFE - and being sober means I can do anything - and since I got sober, I have changed jobs, gotten engaged, repaired relationships and found truly good new ones, begun volunteering, running and doing yoga, doing .... so much. I also got help for actual anxiety and other things - once the alcohol was eliminated my drs could see what was really going on (or not).... And I'm just one little person - but my life is something I am proud of now and that's enough.

It's up to you. The point is that your life is what you make it.

froghat

August, did you lack confidence after you got off alcohol? How did you improve that with anxiety issues? I feel like no woman would want to deal with my anxiety. At least that's what my mind says. No confidence!

Dee74

Hi froghat - good to see you again

Yeah all that is pretty classic addictive voice - but the fact you're here posting suggests to me you don't quite buy into it.

I lost all enjoyment out of my life and my relationships too - but rather than drinking being the answer, it was the cause of that apathy and depression.

I've lived drunk and sober - given several years to each - and sober is by far the way I prefer hands down.

Everyone wants to leave a footprint - something that says I was here.

I couldn't do jack when I was drinking except drink some more.

It's not too late to find that relationship, feel that love or make that mark...

you can become the person you deeply want to be and leave your footprint froghat - but first you're gonna have to push away that bottle.

it's gonna take work - but so does drinking the way we do, right?

D

rascalwhiteoak

I'm also introverted as hell, but I've found when I stop enjoying things there's usually a reason. For me, it's always depression, for which I take medication. That may also explain your anxiety, as the two can go hand-in-hand. Maybe something to look into?

As for how you spend your time, maybe you'll start to get enjoyment from those hobbies and sports again?

Stronger2017

I can really relate to what you're saying. For me, though, I know that I have less anxiety and more self-respect when I'm sober. It's a win-win and I need to remember that. Good luck😀

ScottFromWI

Booze pretty much makes it all worse Froghat, plain and simple. I think you probably know that already at some level though, otherwise you wouldn't come back here asking about it from time to time, right?

Ken33xx

The point is the unhappiness will likely continue to get worse and some point in time even the bottle won't bring much pleasure.

One the first things I notice in early sobriety was how much drinking had affected my condition both physical and mental.

I thought it was because I was bored and burned out much of the time that I drank.

It was to my surprise to learned it was the other way around. I was bored and burned out much of the time because of my drinking.

Ken33xx

Side note: I recall sharing in early sobriety about how I was able to get my laundry done on a regular schedule. Another member laughed and said he could do a lot more than just finish his laundry.

Maybe but I often couldn't and wearing clean clothes regularly was a change. Then I thought what did this guy know about drinking? He got sober at the age of 18.

August252015

Frog- I was just DONE drinking and I wasn't lacking confidence, I just didn't know what would come, what sobriety would mean. It was terrifying to think of a life without alcohol- because that was what my life had been for so long. But I knew- KNEW- that something better had to be out there, and that I had to try to find it or I would die.

As for the anxiety- AA has taught me tools to deal with it, as I feel it coming on, and I also have rx med (ativan, and seroquel for sleep which also has an anti-anxiety component)....my tools include "telling on myself" ie talking to my sponsor, best friends, fiance- sharing what's going on in my head as well as what the IRL problems literally are. I also use "Time outs" like a nap, or going to bed early, and I use my meds as needed- I have learned not to turn to the pill as my automatic reaction (usually, though I do when under extreme duress, sometimes, for sure!)....I am well schooled in the BB and certain passages that guide me, prayer, a morning routine of program work - all of these are a foundation that helps counter "disturbance" of all kinds foundationally.

Ken also makes a good point- in my early days, I had to do lists that included things like 1 make the bed 2 shower 3 eat twice. Seriously. As I got sober- and I was a daily handle of vodka drinker, there about, and was VERY sick- my lists became more "normal" and now are quite full of a very active life.

Take care and hope to see you here.

treeguy24

From what it sounds like you aren't enjoying yourself. Sure getting intoxicated a couple nights a week may take your mind off your struggles, but the rest of the time you say you don't enjoy things as much and are bored. Alcohol isn't making you feel better, it's making you feel worse when you aren't drinking. This is how people get trapped in the vicous cycle because what was once a couples nights per week can turn into a round the clock habit in order to suppress all the feelings of depression, etc. The only way to change your life is to stop drinking, and address the issues head on. Change what you aren't happy with and create the life you want.

45 something days ago when I decided to stop drinking things weren't as enjoyable either. But now I get feelings here and there of the old enjoyment I used to feel before I ever started drinking to begin with. The key is to stop consuming alcohol and evaluate your life and tackle these issues.

Nobody here can tell you "what the point" is and why you should stop. You have to find your own motivation to stop and why you want to change your life.