What exactly am I meant to change after another detox?
 

Hey,

I am on detox number 5 over the years but I keep going back to drinking..

I have pretty much been told its extremely likely I will be found dead in my place in months or even weeks.. My results are extremely bad for every test.
A number of doctors have said they have never seen such bad results..

So I am being admitted for a detox on monday, I was turned away last week from the hospital because they said its wasting resources but I have been going to an alcohol service for a long time trying to get back on track and they also contacted the hospital and they have someone working in there, so I am getting a place.

I don't know what to do after the detox myself.. Its only the first step.
I will be in contact with the alcohol service, but I also was previously but still went back on the drink, so I have to have something different this time.
The hospital will be asking me this also because its a lot of resources involved so they cant just keep doing this, either way, it looks like this is my last, one way or the other.

A huge problem is I have very bad anxiety and depression, kind of catch 22 because the alcohol actually helps me with that but I know it is worse in the long run.

Just hoping for some experiences or ideas / suggestions please..

Thanks for any help

I am very sorry to hear your story and I see you have been here since 2008 so maybe you need face to face support.

I am still struggling with this day 3 here hopefully you get advice from other people who know about this.

wish you good luck!

Welcome back J:

What have you tried to change after detox before? By that I mean have you ever participated in any type of formal recovery program like Meetings or outpatient rehab or anything of the sort?

Also - what types of activities do you participate in when you get out of detox - do you just go back to the same places/people that you associated with before going into detox?

For almost all of us, we needed to change a lot of things. We needed to change the places we went, the people we associated with, and the activities we particpated in. Most of us also needed to dedicate part of our day, every single day, to working specifically on our recovery. Simply removing alcohol from our body does not remove our addiction.

Your very first thread post to SR was entitled:

21 - Serious vodka/drink problem. Please help out - I cant do AA

You ask what has to change after the next detox. Change what you "can't" do. You are literally drinking yourself to death. If anything called for a spiritual awakening, this does. And the step work of AA promises this.

I don't like to "push" a recovery program. But you have struggled for years to quit drinking. "Alcohol Services" whatever that is, isn't helping you. But perhaps working with another alcoholic, one who has been right where you are now, can make the difference between recovery and yet another relapse.

Quite simply you will have to change everything. People, places, music you listen to, movies you watch. Your recovery must come first.
I think AA might be a good resource for you. If you can do inpatient rehab, do it!! Never give up!!💕

Is inpatient rehab an option at all JIreland?

D

What makes you pick up again? Don't do it next time.

It took me many years to relent and try those 12 steps. My life changed dramatically at the age of 50. I felt comfortable in my own skin.

Don't wait as long as I did.

You have to want to stay stopped more than you want to drink. Deep in your heart you must know that drinking again will ONLY kill you. And now it's your choice.....die a slow and painful alcoholic death or try a spiritual way of life.

I wish you recovery and joy. Thinking good things for you!
((hugs)) SB

Everything has to change. A change of personality, or as one doctors put it "unless this person can undergo a complete psychic change, there is very little hope of his recovery.

That is the business AA is in. Complete psychic change through a spiritual experience, the result of working the twelve steps.

But you can't do AA. I have met a few like you over the years. Been in that place myself one time. The nurses at the rehab call them "our frequent flyers". They are running out of options. The system is tired of spending money on them and getting no result. Friends and family have given up. The options are getting less and less.

Our AA group very occasionally gets one off the merry go round, but most continue the cycle until they are either found dead, or they join the korsakovs ward. No one else is really interested. Too much disappointment in dealing with these ones.

To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live by spiritual principles are not always easy alternatives to face. The first thing I did was to thrash around looking for the third alternative. There wasn't one. I chose to swallow my pride and change everything via the spiritual path. My pride could have been the death of me.

You have to never drink again.

I was close to the point you describe. Complete abstinence was my only choice if I wanted to live.

Then, I had to start what the others describe above. For me, it is AA.

Simple, not easy, and doable. Good luck on making the right decision- this sounds like it could very well be your last chance.

Speaking for myself I didn't want to stop. I mean I wanted to but at the same time I didn't. It was only after a good fifteen year run of problematic drinking that I became willing to do something. Ultimately it takes what it takes This summer I met a fellow who has been in and out of AA since 1970. He celebrated his third year of sobriety last month.

What exactly am I meant to change after another detox?

theres great news here! its only ONE thing you have to change- YOU.
YOU will have to stop hanging around wet faces and wet places
YOU will have to be willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.
YOU will have to stop making excuses to not get into action after detox.
YOU will have to get into action.
YOU will have to put in the footwork.
YOu will have to seek out help AND use it.

going back through your threads, AA didnt help because all you did was go to meetings. going to meetings and not drinking dont treat alcoholism.
working the steps does.
maybe its time to get back to AA and DO AA.ya said before ya enjoyed the meetings maybe its time to commit to recovery,eh? maybe its time to put in the footwork?
anxiety and depression is common and alcohol makes it worse. anxiety for me is fear showing itself. you can allow them to control your action or take control of them.
sure hope ya get into action. its a great life sober- one i think you'd enjoy.

In a word, Everything.

I was like you. I've been in and out for 20 years. I never managed any long term sobriety. At the end, I was in really bad shape. I had heart and kidney damage, diabetes, fluid in my abdomen, stroke level blood pressure, and my liver was in serious trouble.

My neighbor found me on the sidewalk, picked me up and I woke up in the hospital a week later. I was transported from one hospital to another in IC but have no memory of any of it except a flash in the ambulance.

I was in the hospital for over 4 months. The doctors gave me almost no chance.
I was a chronic alcoholic and had been detoxing in and out for years.

One of the things that really left me in shock was one of the doctors who stood at my bedside and told me in no uncertain terms "This is your last shot..
Your body won't survive another detox. "

So this is my last ride. My last chance..it's get sober or die.

I could list you a dozen reasons why I would be justified in drinking myself to death, but there really was only one choice to make. If I wanted to live, I had to make the choice and do whatever it took to stay that way.

So i simplified my life...One simple question carried the days. "Is this good or bad for my sobriety.?" If it was bad, it had to go. If I needed help, I asked for it. If there was something required of me, I did it.

I know what it's like to teeter on the verge of death, and believe me when I tell you that sobriety is the easier way to live.

Eighteen months later, I got a clean bill of health. All the damage had been undone. I worked my ass of to achieve that. There were a lot of messy, moody, anxiety filled days, but as time went on, my brain started to heal, that cloud of haze started to clear and I started living again. It's a beautiful thing if you can give it a good chance.

You just have to make the decision that you wanna be sober more than you want to be drunk.

I wish you good luck, If I can do it, anyone can.

Almost the exact same experience as me and I quoted some of the most important parts IME. The sole part I bolded and italicized is perfectly true, and possible.

Up to you.

Getting detoxed is nothing more than removing alcohol from one's system.

It is not a plan of recovery.

I suggest that you go to AA and that you work the program by getting a sponsor, working the steps, reading the literature, working with other drunks and meeting people who have succeeded in getting and staying sober (so you can emulate them).

The choices seem to be that, ardently pursuing some other program of recovery or being found dead in your home.

Please keep us posted - we want you to succeed.

Follow the specific path laid out in detail in the book Alcoholics Anonymous.