GoodLife1

Hello Everyone, I joined this site to help with my alcohol issues. I am not sure if I am an alcoholic, but I am definitely an alcohol abuser. I am a 32 year old male, with an awesome life, except for the problems caused by drinking. I have never been a daily drinker, and I only drink on the weekends, and not every weekend. Most weekends i'll just have 5 or 6 beers, but probably once a month, I go on a binge and drink Friday night, and all day Saturday.

I have noticed that over the last couple of years, my hangovers have completely changed. In my early to mid 20's, my hangovers would consist of a minor headache/nausea, and they would be cured within a few hours by food/Gatorade/aspirin. My hangovers now are horrific. After a night of drinking, I awake with horrible anxiety/depression, constant puking, and my nerves feel like they are going crazy. This can last for 2-3 days. I also experience soaking wet night sweats along with brain fog/inability to concentrate.

The worst of all is the anxiety/depression. I turn from a confident/happy/intelligent person, to a shell of my former self. I feel as I am the biggest piece of ****, everyone hates me, my wife and kids are going to leave me, I'm going to lose my job, and the my future is hopeless. Of course none of this is true, but my brain convinces me of this otherwise . I have to force myself to function at work on Monday after a binge. The anxiety/depression lasts up to 3 days. This type of hangover typically only happens when I drink very heavy ( 12+ beers).

Why are my hangovers so bad? When I was in college and my early twenties, I would binge drink every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and I drank so much more then. My hangovers wernt even close to what they are now, and I drink probably 1/4 as much now than I did then. Does this mean I am an alcoholic, and I am withdrawing? One last thing, I used to never black out, and I could handle my alcohol very well. Nowadays, I feel as I get sloppy drunk much quicker, and I regularly black out if I drink to much. During the blackouts, I sometimes do very irresponsible things that I would never consider doing sober. These include using cocaine, driving drunk, risky sex, spending a ton of money.



All I know is that I can't take these hangovers any more, and I think my best option is to quit drinking.

Dee74

My withdrawals got worse too. Its called Kindling.

some eye opening reading here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lly-again.html

Obladi

I agree, your best option is to quit drinking. Only you can determine if you are an alcoholic, but if you sometimes can't control your drinking and do irresponsible things you would otherwise never consider, I'd say you're a good candidate for the club.

I don't believe withdrawal symptoms define whether one is an alcoholic, but the symptoms you describe are certainly a good description of what withdrawal is.

Thanks for having the courage to reach out - many people never do. This is a very supportive community and we'll help you as much as we can if you allow us.

O

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR GoodLife. Quitting drinking completely sounds like your best option to me as well. There's pretty much every red flag in the book listed in your post when it comes to alcohol being a problem, and as others have mentioned it only gets worse. You will find a lot of support and understanding here on SR, and believe me...most of us have been exactly where you are now. The anxiety, witdrawals, deceased tolerance, etc.....all of it is caused by the alcohol.

least

When I was younger, a hangover was a headache solved by tylenol. As my drinking progressed, the hangovers got much worse. I was actually in withdrawal. It was horrible.

The only way to guarantee you'll never feel like that again is to stop drinking. It takes some changes, but the good life you'll get in return is worth it.

Outonthetiles

I think toward the end of my drinking I was existing with a perm-hangover. I felt bad all the time, but it was so gradual I forgot I felt what feeling normal was like so I just thought that feeling bad was just normal existence.

FoleyUK

That was like reading my own problems. In all honesty I can't say much other than trust your instincts and stop drinking. At least give it 30 days and see what differences there are for you. Seeing change and learning through experience is what is currently working for me.

Gottalife

Today I am uncertain what I suffered . I had the most awful hangovers after four day benders. They would last for several days.

But when I was in the loony bin, I saw others go through the dts or the rats as we called it, and this was the dangerous hallucinating, screaming, bed wetting, seizure type of withdrawal that lasted a couple of days. I never went through that and apparently only about one percent of alcoholics do.

But I guess if you keep drink.ing long enough, it could happen. Not that that was enough of a reason to get me to stop.

It was a good question Foley. Personally, if I had thought of it, I might have preferred withdrawals. Sounds a bit more dramatic and substantial than feeling sick as a dog.

thomas11

This is just my theory, but I believe it to be true. You've crossed the rubicon that many of us have crossed. There is no going back to the old ways. We no longer get hangovers, we skip right into withdrawals. The impending doom, depression, shame etc...its horrible. Its one of the main reasons I quit, I couldn't handle it anymore. It was killing me.

FoleyUK

That's an interesting way to put it. I never thought of my hangovers as withdrawals but it would explain a lot.

I'm continually puzzled by my friends, some of whom are a lot older than me, get drunk a few nights a week and just go to work the next day like nothing is wrong and just seem to ignore the hangover or don't have any symptoms. I don't understand what is different between them and me.

JeffreyAK

Hangovers are really a mild form of withdrawal, so the difference is not sharp, but it sure was a difference for me. As I drank more and more, and more frequently, and built up a huge tolerance, I stopped getting "hangovers" and I'd go straight to some of the withdrawal symptoms you describe. Shaky, anxious, night sweats, insomnia, vomiting if it was bad enough. It eventually got very bad.

All this stuff is symptomatic of being chemically dependent upon alcohol, and as you say, your best option really is to quit drinking. It will only get worse if don't.

ChloeRose63

Your body is going thru alcohol withdrawl. Best thing to do is you quit drinking because it only gets worse and you will start to feel the psycological effects increase, too. It gets scary. Try quitting. Take note of how you feel. And don't compared yourself to anyone or refer to how you use to be able to handle alcohol. Your body chemistry has changed and is unique to you.

ScottFromWI

It is certainly puzzling. I struggled mightily to find an answer for years, but looking back I really was trying to find a "solution" so I could also be like them and control my drinking.

For me the only solution that worked was to simply accept that i AM different from other people in that I cannot control my drinking once I start. Why I am that way is irrelevant, I simply AM.

thomas11

I have become convinced that people who seem to handle heavy drinking without any consequences are simply good at hiding it. My dad is a prime example, I know he doesn't feel well most of every day, until 4PM and he has his first drink, then he feels great. He's done that for 25 years.

feldknocker

Upon first reading, the line in the Big Book that connected with me more than any other is "The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker." I was completely and totally obsessed with this for years. I thought I was unique in this way. I assumed "real alcoholics" didn't give a hoot about becoming normal drinkers. I believed my obsessing about becoming a normal drinker was a sign that I wasn't alcoholic - that is until I read that line in the Big Book.

GoodLife, I feel for you. I know exactly how you are feeling. I also agree with the theory that alcoholics have a different physiological relationship with alcohol. That is the reason we see others who can get drunk and seemingly suffer minimal effects. In my case, as the years progressed, the anxiety and depression of hangovers (or more likely outright withdrawals) were so monumental. I really, really believe that if I continued drinking, my ultimate downfall would have been suicide while in that state. Over the years, I became more and more comfortable with that option when I felt like that.

It has been my experience that the effects of withdrawal from even a one night bender get exponentially worse as I get older. I'm sure there are many factors that contribute to this. First and foremost I believe that as an alcoholic, I process alcohol in some way that is different than a temperate drinker. Secondly, as my body ages, its strength in fighting off these effects weakens. Finally, since alcoholism is progressive, these first two conditions become more acute over time.

I wish you well.

GoodLife1

Thank you everyone for all of your replies. This seems like a great community to be a part of. These responses are not what I was hoping to hear, but they are certainly what I need to hear. I'm embarrassed of how ignorant I have been regarding this type of knowledge.

All of these years I thought that in order to be an alcoholic/have a problem, I'd need to be drinking daily. The fact that I only drank on weekends and only occasionally binged/got out of control, led me to believe that I was immune to being an alcoholic. I need to make a change. I am going to continue to post and read some of these threads, they are a wealth of knowledge. I am not sure I can take another depression/anxiety episode. It disrupts my whole life, and causes me to think crazy thoughts. I have thought about suicide during some of these depressive episodes.

It is just so messed up how the mind makes you think these things... when I'm not binging, my life is great. I am a very happy an motivated person. I have a loving wife, 2 beautiful children (aged 1.5 an 4), a successful and rewarding career, and a ton of friends. I usually love to wake up in the morning and get my day started. After a binge, I want to sit in my bed and cry for 2-3 days..

Thanks again for listening to me.

GoodLife1

Foley, I ask myself this question all the time... I have friends that binge every weekend, and seem to have no problems. I have tried explaining my hangover symptoms to them, and they have no idea what I was talking about... It is frustrating to say the least..

GoodLife1

Thomas, do you think it is possible to "cure" the brain, to go back to how it was before? For example, if one was to take a very long break from drinking, is it possible to go back to it was the way before? Or is it one of those things that mean once you get there, things will never be the same?

Gottalife

That depends on whether you are an alcoholic or a hard drinker. I wanted to be a hard drinker. They seem to be able to drink plenty and not have the crazy loss of control that I experienced. Quite a few of these guys turn up in AA. When drinking it is hard to tell them apart from the alcoholics, but when they stop, which they can do as a simple matter of choice, they seem to get better. Some of them go back drinking, but more moderately, because that is also something they can do.

For the alcoholic, however, there is no return to normal drinking, nor could I see any point in it. The only solution for the likes of me is complete abstinence. The trouble is when I stop, my internal world always got worse. Booze wasn't my problem, it was my solution. So staying stopped involves a lot more than a simple decision, and because of the chemical effect of alcohol on my body, moderation is never going to work.

ScottFromWI

In nearly every case, it is the latter of your examples above. Once you cross the line, you can never go back. That is also news you may not want to hear, but it is unfortunately the truth and has been proven so over and over by people like us.

The good news is that your life can be better than ever without alcohol in it. You will find lots of people who have done just that here and also lots of help and support to do it yourself if you choose.