Need help. Abusive when drunk and black out
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 74
One of the best parts about not drinking is not blacking out.
How I don't miss the mornings of waking up and doing a check:
1- of Facebook
2- texts sent
3- bank account
4- wallet
5- casually ask my wife how she's doing to see if she's mad at me for being a jerk because I don't remember
6- making sure my car is in the same spot
It just gets worse. Once something like this happens it means the potential is always there. It might not happen for years but it's there.
You need to decide if getting drunk is worth that risk. An extremely similar incident occurred during one, of my many, blackouts. 10 years ago and I stlll think about it.
How I don't miss the mornings of waking up and doing a check:
1- of Facebook
2- texts sent
3- bank account
4- wallet
5- casually ask my wife how she's doing to see if she's mad at me for being a jerk because I don't remember
6- making sure my car is in the same spot
It just gets worse. Once something like this happens it means the potential is always there. It might not happen for years but it's there.
You need to decide if getting drunk is worth that risk. An extremely similar incident occurred during one, of my many, blackouts. 10 years ago and I stlll think about it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 9
Thank you iew. I certainly agree and it most defiantly is not worth it. I'm tired of hurting my boyfriend. I love the great times we have but it hurts to think that I don't know when I will black out ornate not have fun. It's not worth it to me to maybe have fun or maybe freak it out. I just need to stop because I obviously can't handle it or control myself
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 74
Originally Posted by Bekind86 
Thank you iew. I certainly agree and it most defiantly is not worth it. I'm tired of hurting my boyfriend. I love the great times we have but it hurts to think that I don't know when I will black out ornate not have fun. It's not worth it to me to maybe have fun or maybe freak it out. I just need to stop because I obviously can't handle it or control myself
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 4
Hi BeKind86,
When I have blackouts after consuming about a quart of straight vodka, I say and write things that I would never have in a million years. My relationship with my now ex girlfriend of 3 years pretty much got smashed to pieces by what I wrote and said after walking out and picking up after almost a year of sobriety. I tore into her and her family, and made a fool of myself. Everyone she knows heard about it from her too, so there is no way in hell it is worth going back into a situation where everyone hates my guts. She has BPD, so it was already a tricky environment to remain sober throughout her unexpected explosions. I wish you luck with your sobriety and handling the relationship situation. The relationship stuff has been a painful part for me to work through (actually drink through), so I am not sure if I have done any real healing from that at all. It was a little over 2 months ago. However, life goes on and I need to be focused to have any shot at a decent life. Today is Day 1 for me. Yes, I drank yesterday. Best to you! A
When I have blackouts after consuming about a quart of straight vodka, I say and write things that I would never have in a million years. My relationship with my now ex girlfriend of 3 years pretty much got smashed to pieces by what I wrote and said after walking out and picking up after almost a year of sobriety. I tore into her and her family, and made a fool of myself. Everyone she knows heard about it from her too, so there is no way in hell it is worth going back into a situation where everyone hates my guts. She has BPD, so it was already a tricky environment to remain sober throughout her unexpected explosions. I wish you luck with your sobriety and handling the relationship situation. The relationship stuff has been a painful part for me to work through (actually drink through), so I am not sure if I have done any real healing from that at all. It was a little over 2 months ago. However, life goes on and I need to be focused to have any shot at a decent life. Today is Day 1 for me. Yes, I drank yesterday. Best to you! A
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
This is a pretty good guide as to what to expect from an AA meeting, North American style:
Your First AA Meeting<
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Your First AA Meeting<
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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 9
Thank you everyone. I know it's a very powerful drug and I've learned it doesn't sit well on my body. Is this in any way genetics? My father use to drink a lot. Every other day if not every day and would become abusive at times and blackout my mother has recently told me. I am going to aa either tomorrow evening or next week. My birthday is Saturday so I'm saying Irs a present to myself to know what I need. I have no problem not drinking or stopping drinking. I enjoy it and want it but I don't need it. I just want to know why sometimes it alters my thinking and brain.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
It could be genetic for some of us, but there are folks here with no familial history of alcoholism or addiction too.
Drink enough and you'll change your brain.
In the end I reckon the only effective treatment is the same anyway - abstinence and a life of recovery
D
Drink enough and you'll change your brain.
In the end I reckon the only effective treatment is the same anyway - abstinence and a life of recovery
D
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