brain still thinks alcohol is a reward...
Changing
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: NJ
Posts: 120
brain still thinks alcohol is a reward...
does anyone have this, i'm still struggling with, having a great week, doing lots of things right, good, etc., cleaned up, got organized, successful at work, etc. ,then feel like i'm doing so good, i deserve a glass/bottle of wine. it's like my brain wires to reward = alcohol.
any advice. that thinking sets in cravings and longings that i then have to fight off and end up getting depressed that i can't have desired/deserved reward and end up in bed, watching stupid movies, overeating, and smoking cigarettes and so on.
then this cycle repeats.
i am staying away from the alcohol, just that sometimes it feels not good to do so when my brain think s i deserve alcohol.
anybody get this?
tiff
any advice. that thinking sets in cravings and longings that i then have to fight off and end up getting depressed that i can't have desired/deserved reward and end up in bed, watching stupid movies, overeating, and smoking cigarettes and so on.
then this cycle repeats.
i am staying away from the alcohol, just that sometimes it feels not good to do so when my brain think s i deserve alcohol.
anybody get this?
tiff
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 33
Hi Tiff - we have all been there 
I find that when I hit a milestone # like 2 weeks, 30 days or even 90 days and I am feeling good I start thinking about having some wine. I am at 16 days now for the 3rd time and at 14 days I started thinking about wine and even purchased a bottle. That night (Friday) I played the tape through - if I drank wine Friday night that would turn into drinking all of the 3 day weekend. My brain would be focusing on how much I could drink. Then come Tuesday I would be hung over and feeling like crap! What a way to start the week. For me, what also comes with the alcohol is a depressed outlook on life. When the alcohol leaves I have a more positive outlook and feel better overall. This worked for me.
I find that when I hit a milestone # like 2 weeks, 30 days or even 90 days and I am feeling good I start thinking about having some wine. I am at 16 days now for the 3rd time and at 14 days I started thinking about wine and even purchased a bottle. That night (Friday) I played the tape through - if I drank wine Friday night that would turn into drinking all of the 3 day weekend. My brain would be focusing on how much I could drink. Then come Tuesday I would be hung over and feeling like crap! What a way to start the week. For me, what also comes with the alcohol is a depressed outlook on life. When the alcohol leaves I have a more positive outlook and feel better overall. This worked for me.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Yes. I have this after a period of making all right choices and working I hard, I get the feeling I want to just shut off and relax. My brain will start trying to rationalize that I was able to make 5-6 days of good sobriety, so how hard could it be to do that every week and then just drink on Fridays and Saturdays.
The reality is that it takes many weeks before I get back to successfully staying sober for 5-6 days. The reality is that it ends up being no reward, but just kick starting the miserable cycle I was trying to escape. The only thing that works for me is staying busy during the witching hour when it is strongest and focusing on the long-term rewards that sobriety will bring.
The reality is that it takes many weeks before I get back to successfully staying sober for 5-6 days. The reality is that it ends up being no reward, but just kick starting the miserable cycle I was trying to escape. The only thing that works for me is staying busy during the witching hour when it is strongest and focusing on the long-term rewards that sobriety will bring.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
AVRT/RR (great threads on these ideas here on SR in the Secular Connections forum) showed me how to separate from the desire for alcohol. The desire (the Beast) once born will always remain as a rogue , misguided survival urge. IT equates staying alive with alcohol and uses the AV to 'convince' ME that I need, want or should drink.
I don't drink, for a whole host of reasons. IT will always want alcohol that's all IT does and all IT is ,the desire . I'm not depriving myself by not not satisfying ITs urge, I'm not being denied ,IT is.
The AV used to be able to convince me that I felt deprived or frustrated that "I couldn't drink" . When I realized that I could drink, but chose not to, I realized that not drinking didn't make me feel bad, not drinking makes IT feel 'bad', the frustration and the desire isn't Me it is IT.
I no longer care that IT feels frustrated, IT and its AV can scream , whine , and throw all the tantrums IT can muster, I no longer drink and never will again, too bad for IT.
Once you can separate the desire from your truer self , ITs pain is a good thing
I don't drink, for a whole host of reasons. IT will always want alcohol that's all IT does and all IT is ,the desire . I'm not depriving myself by not not satisfying ITs urge, I'm not being denied ,IT is.
The AV used to be able to convince me that I felt deprived or frustrated that "I couldn't drink" . When I realized that I could drink, but chose not to, I realized that not drinking didn't make me feel bad, not drinking makes IT feel 'bad', the frustration and the desire isn't Me it is IT.
I no longer care that IT feels frustrated, IT and its AV can scream , whine , and throw all the tantrums IT can muster, I no longer drink and never will again, too bad for IT.
Once you can separate the desire from your truer self , ITs pain is a good thing
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,298
Yep, my AV still works that angle! "Congrats you did awesome or you had a great day, now go drink till you black out so you can feel like crap for two days or more"....." makes sense to me". I finally stopped falling for that twisted logic. Stay strong!!
Changing
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: NJ
Posts: 120
Originally Posted by SimplyFree 
Yep, my AV still works that angle! "Congrats you did awesome or you had a great day, now go drink till you black out so you can feel like crap for two days or more"....." makes sense to me". I finally stopped falling for that twisted logic. Stay strong!!
yes! haha. you did great, now destroy your health... crazy! insanity!
thank you all....
i'm having coffee and enjoying a rainy morning in nj SOBER with no hangover - grateful...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 74
Issue for me also. Hey I just ran a marathon, let's drink some poison! After all, that's exactly what your body needs 🙄
From what I've read booze preys on the reward part of your brain. I'd guess it will take awhile of dealing with bad times and celebrating good times without alcohol to create new pathways in our brains.
From what I've read booze preys on the reward part of your brain. I'd guess it will take awhile of dealing with bad times and celebrating good times without alcohol to create new pathways in our brains.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Brains can be retrained. When I think through a drink I follow it right through to the end - wasted weeks, sickness, forgotten responsibilities, embarrassments, loss of money, dangerous situations.
Thats not a reward
D
Thats not a reward
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 74
Originally Posted by Dee74
Brains can be retrained. When I think through a drink I follow it right through to the end - wasted weeks, sickness, forgotten responsibilities, embarrassments, loss of money, dangerous situations.
Thats not a reward
D
Thats not a reward
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: England
Posts: 92
This is something I struggle with a lot so I've started rewarding myself in other ways to help with the urge. It's only a small thing, but every week I stay sober I treat myself to new a item. A DVD, a book, a collectable whatever it is. That way I'm still getting something and celebrating a good week, but I have something to show for the money I've spent. Not a hangover.
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