BohoD

Hi, I'm 8 days sober. I have a festival to go to on Saturday, which I'm really looking forward to. I went last year, but can barely remember anything as I was drunk all weekend, so I am excited to take it all in and have some memories. That horrible monkey is on my back (I call him Al the *******) what if I lapse and drink? Im going with friends who will be drinking, I can't expect them not to as this is my journey and not there's. Is there any advice or sayings that I can say in a weak moment?

decchemist

F**k off, Al.

That should do it.

Enjoy remembering the festival.

BohoD

Haha! Perfect and I will say that too!

doggonecarl

Eight days sober? Too soon to put yourself in temptations way. Festivals for many are an excuse to get drunk. That's the lion's den you are walking into. Dangerous.

tomsteve

"staying sober is the most important thing in my life and since i still have the monkey on my back, im going to pass on this event."

trying to remain sober early in recovery and walking smack into temptation..... TRUE friends that cared about my well being would have told me that even thinking about it was insane. they would have encouraged me to not go.

BohoD

I understand that it seems to soon, but I also have that bit in me where I am not going to stop doing the things I love because of alcohol. After I wrote this thread, I went onto ask other people for support. I feel alot more positive about it all. I hope if I do find myself in a difficult position, I could log onto here for support, rather than being told my friends aren't good enough!

tomsteve

no one said your friends arent good enough.

BohoD

TRUE friends that cared about my well being would have told me that even thinking about it was insane.

Apologies if I did read it wrong. I'm very sensitive today x

Dee74

Hi Boho

If I told you that at 8 days going to a festival where they'll be a lot of drinking and drugging and no means of escape was a great idea, I wouldn't be supporting you

I understand it's not what you want to hear but its not non supportive

I wanted to live my old life and just stay sober but the problem was my old life was all about drinking.

I drank again and again and again trying to road test my recovery too soon.

Noones saying that you can't ever go to a concert again or that your only other choice this weekend is to sit in the dark at home and mope.

There's a world of possibilities this weekend between drawing the curtains on one hand and going to the festival on the other.

Think of all the things you could do that need not include alcohol.

I'd start a lot less stressfully than a festival.

I stayed away from alcohol centered events for a few months. I needed to leave some clear distance between who I had been and who I wanted to be.

I missed a few concerts and parties sure but I gained some pretty good sober muscles.

Nowadays I can go anywhere - but I consider those early days a great investment in my recovery that still pays off today.

If you do decide to go - think about the likely situations you'll find yourself in and make some plans and strategies to beat them.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html

D

Jules714

Hey.
As per usual; what Carl & Dee said.
I want to live my life too. Thing is I'm not too good at actually living my life right now in the face of temptation. I have to remember that I want what I want when I want it and not a nano second later BC I am an alcoholic. Only you guys and my AA family get that.
The only chance I have to LIVE at all is to guard my sobriety like the prize it is.
If I drink, I will die.
It is that simple and that dramatic and above all, it's true.
I'm confident your friends are wonderful friends...but are they alcoholics? Furthermore, are they alcoholics trying to get sober? Then they may or may not truly understand what it's like.
8 days is great. My 63 days are great. I am only now beginning to comprehend a fraction of how sick I am, how much help I need and what I am and am not capable of.
I wonder if you felt this idea was entirely kosher, then why post? I'm not being flippant, just honest. If you ask people here if the flame is hot, they are going to tell you yes, don't touch it. No one wants to see anyone get burned. I learnt that the hard way. And guess who were the people who "bandaged" me up after I burnt myself again? People here or at AA. Normies say "why'd you put your hand in the flame?" Alcoholics say "doesn't look too bad, I'll help you stay away. This will heal up nicely please just don't forget how hot it gets"
GL,
Jules

BohoD

Thanks everyone, i have fully taken your comments on board. You are right, it wasn't what I wanted to hear and I got snappy. I still have a lot of learning and growing up to do x

Berrybean

Woah. A festival...that really is a big one!

Thing is, if I'm risk-assessing and planning for protecting my sobriety at a social event I usually start with the HALT triggers and planning exit strategies and Time Out periods. All of those would be hard to guarentee in that environment:

Hungry - food is often expensive and ad-hoc rather than healthy and regualr.

Angry - You sober stuck in a field with several thousand drunk people behaving not at their most reasonable and rational - I'm fairly sure something would end up getting to me. Maybe you're more patient than most though.

Lonely - If all your friends get drunk it WILL feel isolating, no matter how gorgeous they happen to be.

Tired - you can figure that one out.

Time Out - well, you know where you're going and whether getting off and on site will be possible / easy

Exit Strategy - as above


Change sometimes requires change. It depends on how much each of us really want to get sober and implement some change I suppose. We all have those decisions to make. I don't envy your decision, or your weekend.

I will say though, if you DO cancel then make sure you plan some other things in to do or your ****** AV will be chucking buckets of self-pity over you all weekend, and that's not so hot for sobriety either.

And if you are still determined to go to the festival, perhaps phone ahead and see if the organisers need any volunteers to help out over the weekend. At least that way you'll feel involved on a different level.

Good luck , whatever you decide. BB

August252015

I'm with the others- don't go.

To describe how dearly I protect my time and my sobriety at 18 mo- when I go to anything social I probably stay an hour or two. Not because I think I will drink but bc try is not in my vocabulary for sobriety, only DO.. I am free now to do what I want and that includes all comings and goings and it's irrelevant what others do say or think.

What's your plan for staying sober? Like many or most or all others would likely say, deciding we want to be sober more than we want o drink then building the tools o live sober are critical.

Berrybean

Also, I've read / heard that some of the larger festivals in the USA, and Glastonbury in the UK have 12-step Healing Tents for people to meet up for some support from any addictions while at festivals. Samaritans are also often present with a drop-in tent.

It would be wise to find out as much as you can about these options s you can before going, if that's what you choose to do.

Maybe I misse this info elsewhere in the thread ... but, do any of the friends you are going with know about your alcoholism and your sobriety? If so, are any of them prepared to be sober company for you? If you haven't told them it might be worth having an honest chat with yourself about your intentions for the weekend.

BB