treeguy24

Today will be day 19 for me if I can get through it sober. I was doing great and then at work in general conversation drinking was mentioned offhandedly and it got me thinking how good it would be to come home and drink. Only I doubt there would be such a thing as stopping at 1-2.

A part of me wants to believe 2.5 weeks sober is enough to be able to drink but I know once I have that first drink that's it...

It makes me ask why I can't enjoy alcohol like other people do without it being a problem...and that's when I say maybe I can but deep down I don't think 2.5 weeks is enough to heal completely from the abuse I've put on my body this year so far with drinking.

Bunny211

Don't do it. You'll end up right back where you started. I remember kicking the walls I wanted to drink so badly very early on. The cravings pass. I don't get them anymore. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Keep putting one foot in front of the other!

least

If by "heal completely" you mean "be able to drink normally again", no, it's not. No amount of sober time can change you back to a 'normal' drinker.

You have to ride out the urges and get thru them without giving in. With more time, the urges will get fewer and fewer until finally you won't notice them at all. It gets better, but at 2.5 weeks sober, you're still in early recovery. Give yourself more time to adjust to living sober.

Dee74

Hi treeguy

it might seem overwhelming - maybe your inner addict is suggesting its impossible to resist - but the more you make different choices the easier this thing is gonna be.

Here are some pretty straightforward things you can do to get through that temptation

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

If SR is your only means of support, use it. Stay logged in. Keep posting.

I've gotten through bad days/nights with the community here - you can too...you can do this

D

PhoenixJ

FOR ME- TIME MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. Many will tell you- time is no factor in addiction. I know a guy- who is 13 years sober- yesterday. It could have been 28 years sober- but after 15 years- because he did not look at the mechanisms in his mind to STOP THAT FIRST DRINK, for no reason he can understand...when at home- in a quiet, lefy, nice middle class suburb- cooking tea for the umpteenth time- with the same ingredients- he drank a whole bottle of rice cooking wine. That then caused him to go on a 3 year drinking binge- he just picked up from where he left off. Time meant nothing, in fact- he said, it was much , much worse.

tomsteve

once a cucumber becomes a pickle, it cant go back to being a cucumber.

treeguy, other than not drinking, what have you been doing for recovery?

treeguy24

Other than not drinking I've been simply trying to focus on starting fresh and creating the life I want at 22 years old. I recently left an old job that was causing me stress and am kind of in the limbo phase between interview and hired for a new job so I've been focusing on the things I value, like fitness, etc.

Still feel some emptiness in my life at times (evenings can be difficult) but, one day at a time I guess.

ssd858

I had 93 days sober and started up again. Yes, thinking just 1 or 2 drinks. Once our our brain chemistry is changed we just cannot go back. For us, the off button is broken. This is day 1 again for me.
Hang on here, go to a meeting, eat a good meal, whatever it takes!

nez

At times like this, I ask myself why do I have the desire to resort to alcohol? What is driving this desire?

Toughroad1209

Hey man,

In only at 4 days sober after a binge and I'm starting to feel better. But already the urge is alive with me right now to drink..but if I drank nothing may happen tonight but by the time the weekend hits that taste is back and my urge to leave the house to the bars are back all over again...you got 19 days so far!...don't do it...you'll feel even worse!

fini

"A part of me wants to believe 2.5 weeks sober is enough to be able to drink but I know once I have that first drink that's it..."

no idea, treeguy, why i can't enjoy a drink like others can, without a problem. But i can't. and that's what i needed to know.

what you want to believe...well, that's nice, and interesting for you to look into why you might want to believe that, but your belief is irrelevant. what is relevant is your experience....you think you need to experiment some more to see where the truh of the situation lies?

SteelRes211

I second this post by Bunny, don't do it; it gets harder and harder to quit from the constant flicking of the on/off switch.

soberandhonest

Read everything you can get your hands on about the kindling effect of addiction, and then read some more. I have a very sincere belief that this effect, which is the significantly increased severity of addiction and withdrawal symptons based upon the number of relapses that the addict has, is not very well understood and is a bigger problem than what is reported. There are a heck of a lot of reasons to not turn back to booze, but this is one that should give us all a good solid scare. The other tool that I have utilized is that I have published the permanency of my decision with those that are close to me. I have informed them that my alcohol use reached a point where I can never safely drink again. If those people ever see me drinking, they will know that things have gone terribly wrong. It makes it easier when nobody around me is waiting around to have a beer with me. Finally, I have truly taken that off the table. I know that others will disagree with me and I don't mean to disparage anyone and I don't and won't project this view on others (I know, that's a lot of disclaimers), but my personal view of myself is that it would now be a complete and total moral failing for me to ever touch alcohol again.

Dee74

welcome back ssd858

D

Verdantia

Hey treeguy-sorry you are tempted. Please don't drink. I was sober for 15 years and got complacent. I thought I'd figured it out and could drink responsibly again. That was a huge mistake. At first I was fine, but it continued to get worse until it became tragic. I realize that I can never drink like 'normal' people.' There is nothing in life that alcohol will improve. I wish you the best.

ChloeRose63

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
Do whatever it takes NOT to take that first drink. There is no off switch and one drink will start you into a binge. I have gone down that path way too many times. Every time I always regret not reaching out for help in stopping me from starting all that s*&t up again. It always gets worse and worse. My body will not take it anymore. Please do not drink. Your body is just beginning to heal.

zjw

i was watching a documentary on alcohol the other day. and my AV started rationalized how I could probably drink moderatly if i had this device they where using and such that monitors how much you drink. I just shut the documentary off.

My point is i know whenever theres some kinda thoguhts about how i could possibly drink senseibly i know its all a load of BS and I just run the other way from such thoughts or whatever might be triggering said thoughts.

fini

how are you doing, treeguy?

treeguy24

Thanks for all the responses.

Have been able to stay away from the drinking. Today will be day 21. Urge still comes and goes but trying to take it hour by hour, day by day and realize that it won't do anything good for me.

soberandhonest

Great job Treeguy! Stay close to SR and keep fighting. Congratulations on 3 weeks!

One correction to your post: You meant to say "Today IS day 21," not "today will be day 21."