Relapse
 

Did great for over a month and then bam
All I want is my sober life back but I say that as I'm sitting here with a glass of cider .. Went on a 3 day bender and don't want to suffer through bad withdrawals .. Managed to workout this morning and did eat some solid food yesterday so I probably shouldn't get hit too hard .. I feel like ****, look like ****.. I want to be free again it's just so hard to get that start
It's gonna be a long road back... hope I can get there soon
This is so much harder than I thought it was going to be..

Ashamed...

Don't be ashamed. We have all done it many times before we finally get pissed off at ourselves and start to be serious about our sobriety. Have you really had enough of drunkeness? Time to get back in control. Welcome back to Day 1 for the last time!

No need to be ashamed... Jump back up on the Sober Bus, starting now.

You can do it!

I have had enough. yes. I just worry about withdrawals, my last experience was terrifying and I don't have a lot of support at home.

You're here and you're posting. Never give up my friend and thank you for your honesty. Take care xxx

I admire and respect that...
 

I admire and respect that, not your slip, I've had more of them in my drinking days than the proverbial hot dinners, e4ven one or two in my nine years of my sobriety, after which I felt stupid!

No,your honesty, because that overrides any form of denial and projects a sense of recognition and acceptance from you and if you can do that, trust me you can recover from drinking and gain, in recovery sme peace and sobriety...

It's a good thing, drunk or sober, better when sober to remember, alcoholism is the only disease/illness that will kill you whilst at the same time telling you, you haven't got it. The only respite from which is abstinence..,. it all but killed me!

welcome back DD.

if you're really worried about withdrawal why not see your Dr?
drinking more is not the way to go.

Unfortunately it is just not an option for me this time. I plan to do a quick taper which I know for a lot of people don't work but it is what has to happen this time and I do believe it has worked for some.. I will post updates and hope that although most of readers will disagree with my method that I will still be accepted in this great recovery community.
I have a great plan waiting for me to attempt long term sobriety once again... Thanks for listening! I also feel I should have kept posting even after getting sober because whoa does that have it's ups and downs! But I fell down and I hope I'm not judged too harshly on how I get back up

Ultimately, we all have to find our own way. I have had 2 bad experiences withdrawing; one last year and one this year (2 months ago). In between these I had one stint of being sober for a month that was after a taper and it did lessen the withdrawal symptoms. Some people have posted here about managing to taper, so if there are no other options then my view is it is better than continuing to drink at high levels. I think the experienced folk here see how risky and unpredictable tapering can be, so of course it is safer always to see a doctor. But no judgement......it is great you want to try and that you are willing to seek support. If you can, try and have someone around while you quit in case you need help/medical assistance.
One of the things I have learned the hard way is the each time I quit the withdrawal was worse. I wasn't drinking more.....it was the binge/withdrawing pattern that seems to have caused progressive damage to my nervous system. For me, that makes going back out a hellish prospect.

Good luck

Anyone is welcome here regardless of their intentions or plans DD. But remember it is our duty to remind you of the potential pitfalls/dangers of withdrawing on your own. I would also add that just because you've done it before is no guarantee that it will work this time. Subsequent withdrawals can become worse than previous ones at any time. I ended up in the ER the last time I withdrew on my own because I underestimated how bad things could get.

Bottom line, you are always welcome here no matter what - but please at least have help at the ready if you need it. It can literally be a life or death decision in rare cases.

Thank you for the kind comments.
After tapering yesterday I am feeling surprisingly well today, today will be booze free.
After trying so many things and listening to so many others I've finally come to the realization that everybody's recovery is different. What may work for some may not work for others and that's okay. That was kind of a big light bulb moment for me.
I'm feeling really positive today and excited to feel better and more positive as time goes on! And also restart my sobriety counter!

Thats great news.
Take care.

Good stuff DD931!

very true. however, there is work that must be done.
work:
verb-be engaged in physical or mental activity in order to achieve a purpose or result;activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something

So you got through? Well done. I is so scary if you are unsure re withdrawal and I guess all I would advise is the Dr if possible. But if your ok today,,,very good.
So I guess let yourself settle and have a think about what triggered you when you feel relaxed and well again. You mentioned feeling ashamed. No shame...really...so many people I know fall and get up and then get well as some point. Most of them are sweet people, they don't need to feel worse that they have already! You have experienced DT of some sort - even the devil would shy away from inflicting that on anyone. Well, hope you keep on feeling better. If you can, find a little support somewhere - you don't have to agree with everything that any particular person says, but a little support can help. I got one on one councelling and that really helped me- each to there own.