Whats the point?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Miami , Florida
Posts: 25
Whats the point?
I just read a post of a heroin addict that wanted to come to site to voice her on going drama, but i read more relapse posts and started to wonder what is the point of all of this. How can some of you abuse, stop, then relapse again and keep going. Some of you even talk of relapse like if its a life long reality for an addict. I guess the reason im bringing this up is cause i'm having fantasies of going back to my old ways of drugs, drinking ,and going down into a deadly spiral. I got a bad job review a while ago and after wondering how this one was so bad from my stellar last one, my manager said i had changed-no ****. Sometimes I look in the mirror and cant even understand the person i have become. The thing that keeps hitting me is that the abuse has made me less than I was, and its hard to think I can have a life like I wanted. Im sure some must understand because sometimes I feel its better not being than being what i am. No need to get scared, im drunk, but these things trouble me from time to time.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Whats the point?
Well a sober life is better. Relapse for some do happen. Relapse for any of us can happen. When we are pressed by life and forget to use the tools we have... any of us can fall and relapse.
The steps work when we work them. When we leave the tools available to stay clean and sober on a shelf collecting dust...we end up trying to go life with what ever we have. Sometimes that just isn't enough.
One day at a time
The tools used and worked every day
The wisdom and knowledge gained as we remember and know what can be
Acceptance of the fact... we can't just take one hit or one beer then say no more because that is how a relapse starts...with that first pick up.
Sober is better
Sober we can deal with life's problems rather then allow life's problems to deal us.
Well a sober life is better. Relapse for some do happen. Relapse for any of us can happen. When we are pressed by life and forget to use the tools we have... any of us can fall and relapse.
The steps work when we work them. When we leave the tools available to stay clean and sober on a shelf collecting dust...we end up trying to go life with what ever we have. Sometimes that just isn't enough.
One day at a time
The tools used and worked every day
The wisdom and knowledge gained as we remember and know what can be
Acceptance of the fact... we can't just take one hit or one beer then say no more because that is how a relapse starts...with that first pick up.
Sober is better
Sober we can deal with life's problems rather then allow life's problems to deal us.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Get your rest.
Think about finding a meeting to go to.
The steps, support, and questions with answers can be found at them.
We don't need do it alone. That is another of the tools... support of those who have been there.
rest well and may your tomorrow bring joy.
Think about finding a meeting to go to.
The steps, support, and questions with answers can be found at them.
We don't need do it alone. That is another of the tools... support of those who have been there.
rest well and may your tomorrow bring joy.
Extremity
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: somewhere, out over that away
Posts: 183
I can relate to your post.
One of the first things I heard at a meeting that made me feel "home" was
"It's okay, I've felt that way too, and sometimes still do."
For me the point is mostly that we try and when we stumble we get to try again. Every day collected sober is better for at least the obvious reasons. Look at it this way, every moment using takes a certain amount of time off our lives and every moment not using gives us time back. Now thats just the physical side of it. We get healthier and healthier can mean happier.
For me now there are times when I don't like what or where I am, but why would I want to go back to what I was? I mean, "been there - done that" is really just as boring and even more frustrating because you either stay there till you die or decide to come right back to this place in sobriety that we feel we can't bare.
Kind of like being a ping-pong ball from alky to sober.
I want to go to some place I've never been in my conscious and I know I can't find it in being intoxicated. I found all the dead ends there. I think sober is the best place away from dead ends and I hope you come to a place where you believe that too. And that's just the mental side of it.
And then there's the spiritual side of it if you choose to have a spiritual side.
You can get there from here but not from that other place we've been.
Of course, if you haven't found all those dead ends out there...
Well, I don't know what anyone can tell you, but I hope you hear what you need to.
I hope that you may Be Well
One of the first things I heard at a meeting that made me feel "home" was
"It's okay, I've felt that way too, and sometimes still do."
For me the point is mostly that we try and when we stumble we get to try again. Every day collected sober is better for at least the obvious reasons. Look at it this way, every moment using takes a certain amount of time off our lives and every moment not using gives us time back. Now thats just the physical side of it. We get healthier and healthier can mean happier.
For me now there are times when I don't like what or where I am, but why would I want to go back to what I was? I mean, "been there - done that" is really just as boring and even more frustrating because you either stay there till you die or decide to come right back to this place in sobriety that we feel we can't bare.
Kind of like being a ping-pong ball from alky to sober.
I want to go to some place I've never been in my conscious and I know I can't find it in being intoxicated. I found all the dead ends there. I think sober is the best place away from dead ends and I hope you come to a place where you believe that too. And that's just the mental side of it.
And then there's the spiritual side of it if you choose to have a spiritual side.
You can get there from here but not from that other place we've been.
Of course, if you haven't found all those dead ends out there...
Well, I don't know what anyone can tell you, but I hope you hear what you need to.
I hope that you may Be Well
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Great, great post Mogqua!
Ok, Thinking, so you want to drink and use drugs. That's called an urge. Dealing with urges is basic! No matter how strongly you feel the 'need', remember that the urge will pass and you'll be ok. Wait it out, distract yourself, change your environment, put on some upbeat music--whatever tools work for you. Don't try to persuade yourself that you don't want to drink or use. Think instead of ways to persuade yourself that you simply won't act on the urge and that it will be ok.
Be patient with yourself. Irritation, frustration, urges, discouragement are all normal. Sobriety doesn't make us happy. In fact, sometimes we aren't thrilled at first with the changes we see. But sobriety makes it possible for us to recognize happiness when it's occurring. Sobriety makes it possible for us to deal with the things we've been putting aside by altering our minds. And alcohol and drugs don't make anything better.
I'd suggest you write down some of the benefits of sobriety, and that you keep adding to the list when you notice those benefits. Small or large, it doesn't matter; write them down. Because each time you feel a little discouraged you can look back at your list. It can be as simple as enjoying a sunrise or having extra money in your pocket. Or it can be as complex as the way your relationships have changed.
You can post those benefits here, which will help others as you help yourself. I did that a while ago in another thread in this forum called Friday Affirmation. I'd be pleased if you'd add to it any time.
Thanks for posting, and take care,
Don S
Ok, Thinking, so you want to drink and use drugs. That's called an urge. Dealing with urges is basic! No matter how strongly you feel the 'need', remember that the urge will pass and you'll be ok. Wait it out, distract yourself, change your environment, put on some upbeat music--whatever tools work for you. Don't try to persuade yourself that you don't want to drink or use. Think instead of ways to persuade yourself that you simply won't act on the urge and that it will be ok.
Be patient with yourself. Irritation, frustration, urges, discouragement are all normal. Sobriety doesn't make us happy. In fact, sometimes we aren't thrilled at first with the changes we see. But sobriety makes it possible for us to recognize happiness when it's occurring. Sobriety makes it possible for us to deal with the things we've been putting aside by altering our minds. And alcohol and drugs don't make anything better.
I'd suggest you write down some of the benefits of sobriety, and that you keep adding to the list when you notice those benefits. Small or large, it doesn't matter; write them down. Because each time you feel a little discouraged you can look back at your list. It can be as simple as enjoying a sunrise or having extra money in your pocket. Or it can be as complex as the way your relationships have changed.
You can post those benefits here, which will help others as you help yourself. I did that a while ago in another thread in this forum called Friday Affirmation. I'd be pleased if you'd add to it any time.
Thanks for posting, and take care,
Don S
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
What's the point???
"The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection." Quote from the Big Book, page 60.
The priciples refered to above are the 12 steps of the AA program. Some say the "spiritual" refered to means that I have to believe in a Higher Power and I happen to agree with that. However, I take it a step further. To me there are two spiritual aspects to living a healthy sober life. The Higher Power aspect and the "spirtual being" aspect. My personal spirit; my being has to be awakened to the point to where I don't want to hurt me any more. I have to come to the point of believing that I'm "worth" more than to treat me the way I used to treat me. I'm important in the overall scheme of things. There's nobody else exactly like me which makes me unique in my own way. I have to come to believe that as an individual, I need to take care of me, and stop doing the things that make me irresponsible, unkind, unfeeling, untrustworthy, and unable to fit in my own skin. Once I've felt what it's like to turn my life around from what it was when I was drinking and using, to what it is today, why would I want to go back out and cause my own death? One reason and one reason only!! Because somehow I've decided that I'd be happier drunk than sober, and that means the insanity has returned. I truly believe that the day I start believing that I'd be happier drunk than sober will be the day I drink again. Therefore, it's up to me to make each day the best I can make of it.
You talk about people noticing changes. I had people telling me for years I was drinking too much. I didn't see it that way. I saw things through my eyes which were incapable of seeing things objectively. I was looking at a life which was affected by drug alcohol.
The priciples refered to above are the 12 steps of the AA program. Some say the "spiritual" refered to means that I have to believe in a Higher Power and I happen to agree with that. However, I take it a step further. To me there are two spiritual aspects to living a healthy sober life. The Higher Power aspect and the "spirtual being" aspect. My personal spirit; my being has to be awakened to the point to where I don't want to hurt me any more. I have to come to the point of believing that I'm "worth" more than to treat me the way I used to treat me. I'm important in the overall scheme of things. There's nobody else exactly like me which makes me unique in my own way. I have to come to believe that as an individual, I need to take care of me, and stop doing the things that make me irresponsible, unkind, unfeeling, untrustworthy, and unable to fit in my own skin. Once I've felt what it's like to turn my life around from what it was when I was drinking and using, to what it is today, why would I want to go back out and cause my own death? One reason and one reason only!! Because somehow I've decided that I'd be happier drunk than sober, and that means the insanity has returned. I truly believe that the day I start believing that I'd be happier drunk than sober will be the day I drink again. Therefore, it's up to me to make each day the best I can make of it.
You talk about people noticing changes. I had people telling me for years I was drinking too much. I didn't see it that way. I saw things through my eyes which were incapable of seeing things objectively. I was looking at a life which was affected by drug alcohol.
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