SoberOtter

I watched an interesting (and sad) documentary called "I was Bette" that chronicled the life of a woman who died of alcoholism. The narrator gave a lot of info on research into women who drink... why they do... the damage it does to our bodies... etc. It drove home the message that women have unique needs when it comes to dealing with alcohol problems. After many years of binge drinking, I've decided to quit. I've tried AA before, but I want to try again. Any tips for going back? I'm thinking of sticking to women's meetings, at least at first.

Bunny211

Yes, alcohol drags women under faster than it does to men. Our bodies just cannot seem to tolerate it. There is nothing sadder than an active woman alcoholic (in my book at least). My advice is to get a sponsor ASAP. Obviously a woman. Look for someone who has her life together. She doesn't need to be rich or beautiful...but kind and stable. I attend a fair amount of women's meetings. However, I also attend co-ed step study meetings. I stick with the women though. I didn't come to AA to pick up guys. Don't ever be ashamed to come back. I found, and I think you will too, that the program really works if you work the program as it is laid out: #1 Don't drink, #2 Get a sponsor, #3 Work the steps.

Maudcat

I second Bunny's recommendations. Women's meetings, step study, come to SR to post.
I follow a blog, Unpickled, started by a woman who had a secret wine overdrinking habit, and listen to her podcast, The Bubble Hour.
It's very female-centric, and addresses women's alcohol issues in a capable way.
I enjoy it. Perhaps you will as well.

cejay

I'm not a woman but wanted to thank you for starting this thread and voice my support.

When I was attending meetings, it always helped me a lot to hear the stories from the people who had returned after a relapse. I was always very happy to see them back and often spoke to them after the meeting to encourage them.

Now I'm in that boat, too. I don't care for AA too much but I loved the fellowship with other men. (I also stick to my gender)

I am probably going to re-join AA after ~8 months of drinking again. I'm sheepish as hell about it and am watching the advice given, here, but the advice I'd give myself, had I posted would be to suck it up and just go back. I'm sure you'll be welcomed.

The Bubble Hour is a great podcast. Others to try:
Recovery Elevator & Recovered.

Good luck.

CJ

SoberOtter

Thanks for your replies! Cejay, I hope you make it back soon. It's taken me far too long to truly understand I cannot safely drink. My dad was an alcoholic, so I have the genetics. I kept things reasonably under control until about five years ago, when I hit a rough patch in my life. All since 2012: My husband had an affair; we got divorced; I was laid off; I filed for bankruptcy, and my beloved mother developed dementia and died. All the while, I had unsuccessful, painful, and sometimes abusive relationships with men. I have all the risk factors for alcoholism and then some. If I weren't an alcoholic by now, it would almost be strange. I'm single now and plan to stay that way at least until I'm solidly sober.

Maudcat

That's a good plan. You got this.

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR SoberOtter. I'm glad you came here and I agree that going back to meetings and possibly sticking to women's meetings sounds like a great place to get started. I admire your committment to get sober in spite of all that you've been through as well. A quick note that we do have a women's only forum here as well, but you are welcome in any areas of the boards of course.

Berrybean

Go for it. If anyone remembers you from last time then they'll be very happy to see you made it back.

My (mixed) meeting tonight. 7 women and 3 men. Most mixed meetings I go to have at least 50% women in fact. I was suprised at that, but very pleased. There aren't many women only meetings in my area though suprisingly enough.

Let us know how you get on.
BB

Pondlady

I'm reading a book you might be interested in.

The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol
By: Ann Dowsett Johnston

Maudcat, I'm going to check our Unpickled.

Shitzupuppy

I also suggest the AVRT method.

AA never appealed to me. This different approach did and I credit it for making this really work this time

FindingMyNext

Another fascinating (and enlightening) book is Devon Jersild's Happy Hours: Alcohol in a Woman's Life.

Thanks for the other recommendations. Can't wait to dig in!

Dave42001

Welcome, SoberOtter.

Great post, I'm glad you're here. I'm a big AA advocate and can't say enough about the kind people here in SR.

You've made a wise decision, living a sober lifestyle is really a beautiful thing.

Wishing you the best! Keep coming back!

tursiops999

Welcome, SoberOtter, from a fellow sea-creature! You're making a great decision, and a better life awaits you. Use whatever approach works for you, and know that you can do this!

NoCelia

Thank you for starting this thread. It's nice to have a reminder that alcohol is handled differently by men and women and unfortunately for us it's even more dangerous.

tiffanyeagle

sober otter - im routing for you/us. i know that alcoholism really affects women and makes us sick and fast- i've seen it in others and felt it as well.i'm happy to be sober today. grateful. i attend aa regularly in conjunction with other reading, yoga, and a healthy active lifestyle - i think nutrition comes in to play / sugar, and am researching how to address those types of cravings. but alcohol will kill me if i drink it, it is an allergy and an obsession of body and mind for me once i start in with it. i have to remember how i feel at the end not at the first 'glass of wine'. stay in touch