The healing process
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 256
The healing process
Long story short I'm not a stranger to drug and alcohol use. But right now the focus for me is healing from a recent stint of alcohol consumption.
This isn't my first time getting sober either. I started drinking again this past December after about 2 - 2.5 years away from it. It started out as a 2-3 shots and before I knew it I was drinking before work, during work, after work, sometimes anywheres between 8 and 12 shots of vodka. After being confronted about my problem at work I began to taper down and got myself down to 1-2 shots so that I could then stop. I was worried about physical withdrawals here.
After tapering down I went on an off drinking a couple times per week, and then taking a few days off etc. The most I've gone is over a week. Today is day 4. No real physical withdrawals as I haven't been drinking heavy every day, but I still don't feel a hundred percent. I've noticed more depression and anxiety since quitting. To manage that I've been utilizing EFT tapping. I also workout and try to do things for myself that make me happy and let me relax. I'm only 22 years old by the way.
So in addition to some depression and anxiety I just don't feel right. Sometimes I feel out of it so to speak. Not drunk out of it but just not thinking clearly, my body doesn't feel right, etc. etc.
I also have this underlying fear of having a problem mentally which I developed the last time I quite drinking. I've been trying to work on that and I've been able to rationalize that there isn't anything wrong with me, I just tend to put all these thoughts in my head which makes me have anxiety about not being normal in the head. I guess what happened is 2.5 years ago when I quite drinking and I read about some people experiencing hallucinations and other psychological withdrawal symptoms I developed a fear of going crazy and sort of latched on to that fear. It didn't help that I was grieving at the time I sort of felt detached from reality as I was sorting through everything. This was 2.5 years ago, but I don't think I ever let go of the fear.
And now that I'm quitting again I have that anxiety back and just don't feel calm and relaxed like I know I should. Sometimes I do when I do certain things, but when I get anxious like this it gets me going and then I worry about having a mental problem , etc. I know it's a fear I need to face and get over otherwise it will continue to haunt me.
On the other hand I'm also grateful because I work, I do things for myself, and I know that this won't destroy me. I just need some input and advice from others who have been down this road.
This isn't my first time getting sober either. I started drinking again this past December after about 2 - 2.5 years away from it. It started out as a 2-3 shots and before I knew it I was drinking before work, during work, after work, sometimes anywheres between 8 and 12 shots of vodka. After being confronted about my problem at work I began to taper down and got myself down to 1-2 shots so that I could then stop. I was worried about physical withdrawals here.
After tapering down I went on an off drinking a couple times per week, and then taking a few days off etc. The most I've gone is over a week. Today is day 4. No real physical withdrawals as I haven't been drinking heavy every day, but I still don't feel a hundred percent. I've noticed more depression and anxiety since quitting. To manage that I've been utilizing EFT tapping. I also workout and try to do things for myself that make me happy and let me relax. I'm only 22 years old by the way.
So in addition to some depression and anxiety I just don't feel right. Sometimes I feel out of it so to speak. Not drunk out of it but just not thinking clearly, my body doesn't feel right, etc. etc.
I also have this underlying fear of having a problem mentally which I developed the last time I quite drinking. I've been trying to work on that and I've been able to rationalize that there isn't anything wrong with me, I just tend to put all these thoughts in my head which makes me have anxiety about not being normal in the head. I guess what happened is 2.5 years ago when I quite drinking and I read about some people experiencing hallucinations and other psychological withdrawal symptoms I developed a fear of going crazy and sort of latched on to that fear. It didn't help that I was grieving at the time I sort of felt detached from reality as I was sorting through everything. This was 2.5 years ago, but I don't think I ever let go of the fear.
And now that I'm quitting again I have that anxiety back and just don't feel calm and relaxed like I know I should. Sometimes I do when I do certain things, but when I get anxious like this it gets me going and then I worry about having a mental problem , etc. I know it's a fear I need to face and get over otherwise it will continue to haunt me.
On the other hand I'm also grateful because I work, I do things for myself, and I know that this won't destroy me. I just need some input and advice from others who have been down this road.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi and welcome treeguy 
The more years I drank the longer it took me to feel right after a binge. That was regardless whether I'd been taking 'breaks' or not.
Day 4 is great - but it's only day 4. Give your mind & body a chance to heal
as for going crazy - not to be flippant, but you don't sound anymore crazy than the rest of us
Anxiety is a hallmark of most peoples early recovery as well.
If it's been a persistent problem for you, it might be worth considering going back to your Dr about it?
D
The more years I drank the longer it took me to feel right after a binge. That was regardless whether I'd been taking 'breaks' or not.
Day 4 is great - but it's only day 4. Give your mind & body a chance to heal
as for going crazy - not to be flippant, but you don't sound anymore crazy than the rest of us
Anxiety is a hallmark of most peoples early recovery as well.
If it's been a persistent problem for you, it might be worth considering going back to your Dr about it?
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
It's so good to have you with us, Treeguy. I agree that anxiety was definitely a problem in early recovery. I went through many phases as I began to heal - everything got easier & better. Be patient with yourself. You've made a great decision to get free of it.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Hi Treeguy. I had some depersonalization issues when I got further along in my recovery and felt like I was going crazy. The first six weeks of recovery I was a zombie. It got better for me but it's scary when it's going on. Hang in there.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 256
Originally Posted by silentrun 
Hi Treeguy. I had some depersonalization issues when I got further along in my recovery and felt like I was going crazy. The first six weeks of recovery I was a zombie. It got better for me but it's scary when it's going on. Hang in there.
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