Hey SR, can I borrow a $20?
Trying to Enjoy Life Now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Posts: 275
Hey SR, can I borrow a $20?
I feel like I'm a dead beat brother to SR that only shows up when he needs a favor. And here I am once again. 
My father passed away suddenly this week. It wasn't completely unexpected as he was dealing with some fairly serious medical conditions, was almost 80 years of age and he wasn't passing the eye test when I would visit him. I'll spare you the details of the lack of passing the eye test just because if you haven't experienced it already consider yourself lucky and if you have you don't need to be reminded.
Anyway, on Monday he was taken to the hospital with a severe headache and the inability to focus both visually and mentally. As it turns out he experienced a severe stroke and only lasted about 12 hours after I received the call. I got to see him the day before so I consider myself lucky.
This weekend are the services which start from the mass, to a procession to a military burial ground then a celebration of life dinner. Guess where this is going yet?
It's going to be an emotional roller coaster with woman (relatives you perverts) needing comfort as well as children and everyone else. My Mom, who is one of the strongest people I've ever met and not too worried about, needing an arm. My sisters, my Dad's sisters and so on and so forth.
The last time this happened was with my grandfather many moons ago and everyone congratulated me as being a pillar of strength during the event. Well, that pillar quickly crumbled shortly after the show was over, the audience departed and I was left with my demons. I wound up drinking my way through bereavement leave and topped it off with another week of and going back to work a train wreck.
Guess all I'm asking for is a cyber fist bump and hopes I've grown and learned how to handle things better thru wisdom of my mistakes. Services start Friday Morning. If you can keep my drinking problem in your prayers and thoughts it would mean the world to me.
I'll follow up good or bad if not before on Saturday on how things went as soon as the smoke clears.
Thanks SR!
My father passed away suddenly this week. It wasn't completely unexpected as he was dealing with some fairly serious medical conditions, was almost 80 years of age and he wasn't passing the eye test when I would visit him. I'll spare you the details of the lack of passing the eye test just because if you haven't experienced it already consider yourself lucky and if you have you don't need to be reminded.
Anyway, on Monday he was taken to the hospital with a severe headache and the inability to focus both visually and mentally. As it turns out he experienced a severe stroke and only lasted about 12 hours after I received the call. I got to see him the day before so I consider myself lucky.
This weekend are the services which start from the mass, to a procession to a military burial ground then a celebration of life dinner. Guess where this is going yet?
It's going to be an emotional roller coaster with woman (relatives you perverts) needing comfort as well as children and everyone else. My Mom, who is one of the strongest people I've ever met and not too worried about, needing an arm. My sisters, my Dad's sisters and so on and so forth.
The last time this happened was with my grandfather many moons ago and everyone congratulated me as being a pillar of strength during the event. Well, that pillar quickly crumbled shortly after the show was over, the audience departed and I was left with my demons. I wound up drinking my way through bereavement leave and topped it off with another week of and going back to work a train wreck.
Guess all I'm asking for is a cyber fist bump and hopes I've grown and learned how to handle things better thru wisdom of my mistakes. Services start Friday Morning. If you can keep my drinking problem in your prayers and thoughts it would mean the world to me.
I'll follow up good or bad if not before on Saturday on how things went as soon as the smoke clears.
Thanks SR!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I'm so sorry otter 
I can't imagine how hard losing a parent is.
My grandfather passed away the week after I got out of treatment. I kind of got through by the skin of my teeth. I had to be around my family, which is stressful enough when we are not all grieving. I didn't have a vehicle of my own at the time, two kids with me, and no sober supports and surrounded by drinking Italians haha.
I made it through... I have made it through a lot of really difficult things this year so far, and I've stayed sober through it all. And ok. Even when it got messy, and difficult, and I wasn't even sure I really wanted to pick up the pieces if I could, I got through it, and I was ok. A year ago, I would have never gotten up. I would have dove head first into the bottle and drowned.
You will be ok too. We're here for you. Sending big hugs.
Again I am very sorry for your loss.
I can't imagine how hard losing a parent is.
My grandfather passed away the week after I got out of treatment. I kind of got through by the skin of my teeth. I had to be around my family, which is stressful enough when we are not all grieving. I didn't have a vehicle of my own at the time, two kids with me, and no sober supports and surrounded by drinking Italians haha.
I made it through... I have made it through a lot of really difficult things this year so far, and I've stayed sober through it all. And ok. Even when it got messy, and difficult, and I wasn't even sure I really wanted to pick up the pieces if I could, I got through it, and I was ok. A year ago, I would have never gotten up. I would have dove head first into the bottle and drowned.
You will be ok too. We're here for you. Sending big hugs.
Again I am very sorry for your loss.
Trying to Enjoy Life Now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by Delizadee 
surrounded by drinking Italians haha.
Thank you!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Sorry for your loss, Otter. I lost my Dad about 2 1/2 years ago. It's the tough personal times that test our sobriety. I truly believe that when we learn how to deal with these things sober, then it only makes us stronger.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
Otter,
Thoughts and prayers for your loss.
My father passed away in December from multiple strokes he suffered in September so I know the "eye test" you're talking about (he was 86). My mom is in the hospital right now for complications she is suffering from late stage cancer (she is 85).
I'm not sure where you are in your recovery and what you use for support but now is the time to use it. I know that AA and SR have always been there for me during difficult times so feel free to check in and ask for support as often as you want! I'm grateful that over the last several difficult months taking a drink has not crossed my mind as a option.
Thoughts and prayers for your loss.
My father passed away in December from multiple strokes he suffered in September so I know the "eye test" you're talking about (he was 86). My mom is in the hospital right now for complications she is suffering from late stage cancer (she is 85).
I'm not sure where you are in your recovery and what you use for support but now is the time to use it. I know that AA and SR have always been there for me during difficult times so feel free to check in and ask for support as often as you want! I'm grateful that over the last several difficult months taking a drink has not crossed my mind as a option.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
"Guess all I'm asking for is a cyber fist bump and hopes I've grown and learned how to handle things better thru wisdom of my mistakes. Services start Friday Morning. If you can keep my drinking problem in your prayers and thoughts it would mean the world to me."
You got it, otter
You got it, otter
Trying to Enjoy Life Now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by Grungehead
Otter,
Thoughts and prayers for your loss.
My father passed away in December from multiple strokes he suffered in September so I know the "eye test" you're talking about (he was 86). My mom is in the hospital right now for complications she is suffering from late stage cancer (she is 85).
I'm not sure where you are in your recovery and what you use for support but now is the time to use it. I know that AA and SR have always been there for me during difficult times so feel free to check in and ask for support as often as you want! I'm grateful that over the last several difficult months taking a drink has not crossed my mind as a option.
Thoughts and prayers for your loss.
My father passed away in December from multiple strokes he suffered in September so I know the "eye test" you're talking about (he was 86). My mom is in the hospital right now for complications she is suffering from late stage cancer (she is 85).
I'm not sure where you are in your recovery and what you use for support but now is the time to use it. I know that AA and SR have always been there for me during difficult times so feel free to check in and ask for support as often as you want! I'm grateful that over the last several difficult months taking a drink has not crossed my mind as a option.
I've stopped counting the days sober to be honest because it always set me up for a 'you got this' and 'you beat it' thought process. I'm better off thinking 'not today'.
Ugh, thanks guys.
Trying to Enjoy Life Now
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Posts: 275
Well guys, I fell off the wagon yesterday. Drinks were being passed around and I said to myself "I'll have 1 vodka and cranberry for my Dad's funeral".
That turned into a couple more as it always have when I decide to dance with the devil.
I guess the good news is that I was so exhausted I was unable to drink myself into oblivion and wound up sleeping for 12 hours with a sense of clarity again.
Day 1...again.
That turned into a couple more as it always have when I decide to dance with the devil.
I guess the good news is that I was so exhausted I was unable to drink myself into oblivion and wound up sleeping for 12 hours with a sense of clarity again.
Day 1...again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm sorry you drank Otter.
The thing I had to learn is my addicted self doesn't really give a damn what else is going on - it'll shamelessly use anything it can, no matter how sad, or important, to make taking a drink seem reasonable.
You sound liek me - there is no such thing as one drink, only the first drink...and thats the one we need to go to any lengths to avoid at all costs.
D
The thing I had to learn is my addicted self doesn't really give a damn what else is going on - it'll shamelessly use anything it can, no matter how sad, or important, to make taking a drink seem reasonable.
You sound liek me - there is no such thing as one drink, only the first drink...and thats the one we need to go to any lengths to avoid at all costs.
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
