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Do I need help here or is this some kind of "normal"

Old 07-17-2017, 10:48 AM
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Do I need help here or is this some kind of "normal"

Ok o **** help me please..
I've known/ still know a few alcoholics so maybe I'm just paranoid I don't know.
Basically I think I might be drinking a bit to much. It's not loads but its quite a lot more that I ever used to drink. Its scaring me because I've seen my friends and heard stories from them when they were drinking.
Ok so I think I may have just submitted this as it was. Ididnt mean to do that.

Ok from the top...
I have always enjoyed a couple of pints on a nice day.. nothing more.
Over the last maybe five years or something its got quite a lot more. Double maybe triple the number of pints on top of liquor or whatever. I generally put it down to social anxiety (which I am actually diagnosed with) but more recently I've been thinking there might be another factor contributing to it. It sounds silly (really silly) but basically I like this girl and she is an alcoholic though she doesn't drink anymore but is it possible that -although she has already rejected me quite brutally. Is it possible that I want to have something in common with her so bad that I am subconsciously trying to 'make myself' an alcoholic?
Another possible reason that I thought of was that I really have nothing to do during the day. I don't work for reasons I won't bore you with but there are valid reasons. I can't just sit around the house so I go down the pub and drink 3-6 pints. Almost daily now.

Anyway I would be grateful for any advice you have to offer.
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Old 07-17-2017, 10:54 AM
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Welcome.

Try quitting for 90 days. If you struggle, or fail, you'll have a clearer understanding about your dependency on alcohol.
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Old 07-17-2017, 11:07 AM
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Doggonecarl is right. If you can't quit for 90 days, try some controlled drinking. Try to go down to the pub and have two and stop. Or at home. Whatever works. If you have just a few and get agitated or frustrated that you can't get the buzz you want or it leaves you wanting more, you may have a more serious issue on your hands.
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Old 07-17-2017, 11:29 AM
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Welcome to the forum Odear. I'd also agree - if drinking is not a problem for you, quitting for a few weeks or months should not be an issue at all. If the problem is simply Boredom, there's a whole world out there to explore.

Drinking specifically to "cure" boredom is not a normal drinking pattern though. Drinking 6 pints of beer in one sitting is also considered to be binge drinking by just about every measure, and if you are doing it every day it's a big red flag.
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Old 07-17-2017, 03:26 PM
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great advice here already Odear - welcome
I think it's far more likely you're simply becoming dependent on alcohol.

Doesn't sound like there's a future as far as this girl is concerned I'm afraid - but even if there was, you'd impress an alcoholic in recovery a lot more by being sober, not drinking.

I think you fit in here

D
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Old 07-18-2017, 07:08 AM
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i didnt realize that trying to cure boredom by going to the bar,sitting on a barstool, and getting drunk was insane until i got sober.
i dont think it matters if youre trying to make yourself an alcohlic. what matters is thats a LOT of alcohol to be drinking daily and you deserve a better life
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Old 07-18-2017, 08:41 AM
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I don't imagine a normal drinker ever wonders if their drinking is a problem.

I can't really say though because I don't think I have ever been a normal drinker. My drinking didn't start off with quite the extreme that it ended with, but it was never quite right either.

I didn't drink to get drunk, but every time I drank, I got drunk, and the time between drinking and not drinking got shorter and shorter.
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Old 07-18-2017, 12:43 PM
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I never thought I was alcoholic, but my drinking had always bothered me and when it really bothered me I drank more so I didn't feel so bothered ( briefly) .... Sound like any kind of life?
2 years sober now and I can recommend !
Good luck
Xx
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Old 07-18-2017, 01:11 PM
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Based only on what you've said:

You sound young, insecure and nervous. Perhaps do seek treatment for your anxiety, talk to someone about it, especially if it is what is holding you back from being able to work. Consider volunteering, finding things to do that you are interested in, working towards goals of some sort. Exercise outdoors. You need to find things to DO, and then see if drinking doesn't just naturally fall by the wayside. I would date somebody other than this girl, for now, but that's just me.

I didn't see certain key phrases in your post, things like once I start I can't stop, I say I'm not going to drink again but I always do, I feel ashamed, I notice I drink way more than everyone else, I always drink to the point of being very drunk, I never just have one or two... Things like that point to alcoholism.

I think that people who use alcohol as a social lubricant run a higher risk of being alcoholics in the future, if they don't find their place in the world by any other means. If it comes to a point where "the only time I feel good and like myself is when I drink" then it's a problem.

But remember that it's never really a healthy thing to do, even in moderation, really. It's not something you have to do. If you begin to feel uncomfortable with your amount of drinking, start by cutting back and see how comfortable you are with it. If it gets to where you are extremely nervous in all situations and the urge to drink is at the forefront of your mind, that's a red flag that you could be starting to have a problem.

A trial seperation period is a good idea.
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Old 07-18-2017, 01:13 PM
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Welcome, great advice above.

I found this site because I had concerns about my drinking, and how it was impacting my life. I got sober for a bit, and then decided I could moderate my drinking, I couldn't, and I certainly tried the experiment enough times to learn that lesson.

Like others have said see you you feel taking a break from drinking, and also how you do just having one or two drinks, that will definitely give you a clear answer on where you stand.

Also, feel free to check in here as much as you need, you will find lots of support.
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Old 07-18-2017, 03:04 PM
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Thanks for replying and for all the advice everyone. You've definitely given me something to think about.

I was a bit drunk when I wrote that first post and I am a little bit embarrassed about it. (It was all 100% true but I would maybe have censored it a bit more had I not been drinking.)

Now, if possible and if I can work out how, I will delete my account and that post.

So thanks but I'm going now.
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Old 07-18-2017, 03:08 PM
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Hi Odear. You never have to feel embarrassed with us. I hope you'll stay - there's plenty of encouragement here, & we would like to help.
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Old 07-18-2017, 03:29 PM
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I really urge you to change your mind Odear - closing your account won't make the problem go away....

you'll never find more support or better bunch of folks than here

D
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Old 07-18-2017, 03:46 PM
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I've posted drunk too, many times. It was embarrassing but I still stayed here for the awesome support. Now I am going on 8 yrs sober and I'm glad I stayed.

I hope you stay too.
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