dsmaxis10

I take Naltroxone for alcohol cravings and it helps a lot. I would feel like I'm breaking out in some kind of rash the cravings were so bad.

Gottalife

The answer for me has been to find a reliable 24/7 defense against the first drink. In the early days it might have been a higher power controlling my circumstances, giving me the right direction in terms of the program of recovery. But later it came through a spiritual experience, a complete change of personality. The problem was removed and the idea of drinking became redundant.

Much is made of calling your support person. It might be an AA friend, or sponsor, when the urge hits. If you do that, you are very unlikely to drink because it shows your human defenses are working.

The alcoholic who is going to drink does not call his sponsor or anyone else. Why would he? The obsession is back that this time will be ok and the memory of even a few days ago will not come into his mind with sufficient force to save him.
Relapses can also occur in a careless moment, for no apparent reason than some kind person offered a drink, and the alcoholic took it without thought.

In my experience alcoholics who are going to drink, never ask for help. There either isn't time, or the alcoholic mind is back in control. That is what a lot of us in AA find that getting into the steps early is so worthwhile. We don't know how much time we have before the obsession comes back.

whatsgoingon

I'm so glad someone started a thread like this. I'm battling with my urges at the moment. I can seem to get past three days sober. Once the urge comes im like a man possessed. Last night I was secretly drinking everything I could find in the kitchen whilst my wife sat in the lounge oblivious to what was going on. At the moment I'm not satisfied with just one drink, I have to get smashed.

I'm trying to identify where my urges come from and there are a number of different circumstances. For instance I can go all day thinking I'm not going to drink and then I'll get home and wife will say she fancies a gin and tonic, that will be all I need to cave in. Other days my urges start in the middle of the afternoon at work and build up gradually until by the time I get home I'm practically foaming at the mouth.

If I could beat the voice in my head I might have a chance. I need to find my 'why' and maybe then I can beat this addiction.

Wholesome

Hi whatsgoingon. You will never be able to silence that voice, it is with you for life now, although it does get quieter the longer you don't give it what it wants, more alcohol. The idea behind AVRT is to recognize that voice for what it is and dismiss that desire as not being you but IT. You stay abstinent despite those thoughts and see yourself as not struggling but instead it is your Beast that suffers, it is your Beast that wants to drink, not you. You know how much listening to that voice has cost you and you are no longer willing to live your life based on your lower brains desires. Your AV is the sole cause of your addiction. When those thoughts come up you recognize them as such and tell yourself, I will never drink again, and I will never change my mind. The answer to those thoughts is always NO!

I think where a lot of people go wrong is that they think they need to get rid of that desire in order to succeed, but that's not true, you may never completely get rid of it. It's about seeing it for what it is and not acting upon it. You are in control of you hands, arms and mouth. All that voice can do is send you thoughts, emotions and memories, IT cannot control your limbs or your mouth.

If you want to learn more about it visit the Secular Connections forum here on SR. There is a ton of information.

hns0685

I can relate so much and think this is great advice. I've had 3 years of sobriety in the past and then a succession of relapses. I'm currently on day 5 and fully committed this time- I just can't do it anymore. In the past 5 days I've been checking in on here, been trying to take care of my body, and I've been journaling a lot. One of the biggest things coming up for me is the grief that I'm never going to be able to have a few beers around the fire in the evening- I'm never going to be able to order a glass of red wine at dinner, toast with champagne at weddings, or just have a drink to take the edge off of a hard day! I actually cried when I realized how sad I was to let this part of my life go, but then I just allowed it to be. Trying to just sit with the pain and observe, rather than try to change it. It's not easy, but I know it's worth it- I've been there before and I'll get back.

My best advice when the urge hits is to call someone, journal your thoughts, allow yourself to get pissed off, write out different ways that alcohol has impacted your life negatively, and like everyone else said- have a plan. Oh, and I think most importantly- be grateful that today is a new day and don't beat yourself for yesterday's actions. You're lucky to have a fresh start today.

JimiC

whatsgoingon, I was like you. I'd plan on not drinking then my AV would chime in and I'd just give in almost every time. Building sober muscles takes time.

zenchaser, fantastic post! Thank you so much

Gottalife

if you could do those things, why do you need to stop? Isn't the reason you need to stop the fact that you cannot just have a few? Giving up is not a loss. That has already occurred. The door has shut on your ability to control your drinking. Stopping actually opens another door to a whole new life. Something to celebrate.

MrDavid

My love/hate relationship with alcohol made me feel inadequate, even undeserving at times. This unforgiving spirit left me a broken man, literally, despite years of what I call ‘spiritual growth’. To make matters worse, I had years of unjustified anger and the nervous energy of a 5-year-old. I guess no human need could ever satisfy my unwanted desires, so I decided to do the unthinkable, self-medicate. That was 16 years ago.

After years of nervous suppositions and fear induced tirades, I was finally able to come to grips with my restless ambiance. My inability to connect the dots spiritually and my insatiable need for power and prestige led me to a place of fear and self-loathing. And those inhibitions were just a by-product of my own crooked desires. Once I was able to satisfy those needs with a more powerful antidote, like a true sense of self-worth, nothing and I mean nothing was off limits, spiritually or otherwise.

We all experience issues with doubt, indeed we do. And those doubts can cause us to question everything including our ability to remain sober. But it should not dictate how we proceed. Just like a nagging conscience that can never be satisfied, we all experience issues that provoke our innermost fears, whether they seem justified or not. But we need to draw the line somewhere.

What I quickly learned became increasingly relevant with each passing moment. And with each passing day comes a series of challenges that can make or break our resolve. So I learned how to temper those feelings with powerful insights rather than some half baked truths. I also learned how to satisfy my basic human needs while tempering those desires that cause so much friction. This became a game changer for me.

After years of failing to make the grade and the prospect of sobriety becoming less and less likely, one thing stood out above all else: The more I fought the desire to change the more challenging sobriety became. So I try to practice humility instead and accept change as it happens, rather than assuming it will. It’s the basic element behind my desire to move forward. I hope you can as well.

waynetheking

Resolve to quit drinking. Surrender to the fact that you have a deadly disease. If you continue drinking the disease wins. If you give yourself excuses to drink then you will. If you understand the progressive nature of alcoholism and realize your playing Russian roulette with your life by drinking then the urges will have less power over you. It's a combination of things to beat this and staying alive. First you need the mindset. Then you need a plan of action. Take action. Massive amounts of action. Eat right, sleep right. Exercise. Engage your mind with others that seek sobriety. You have to stay one step ahead of the disease.
One other thing, pray. Pray to God for help. That's how I did it. I hope this advice helps you.