SteelRes211

A lot of us here have a long weekend for the 4th, me as well. Picnics, family cookouts around these summer holidays usually spell disaster for my sobriety and willpower. I have a few events that I will be attending with the usual band of boozing suspects both family and friends getting stupid hammered in the summer sun. I have been OK on a small scale like taking clients out for dinner over the past 2-1/2 months of me not drinking but have not been around a keg, Margarita machine, beer pong, drunken corn hole for shots and boxed wine. Normally as these events warm up so does the ever expanding pressure to drink by the drink pushers that always pop up at my family parties.

I know deep down how much I want to be sober forever and how bad it sucked for the first week or so coming off the junk but times of weakness befalls many a strong man. Not sure how to handle the "no thanks not drinking today" because no one knows but my wife that I stopped drinking. So if anybody has any tips for me I would greatly appreciate some input.

Have a safe Holiday weekend.

Jules714

I'm just avoiding all/any of those situations. Going to as many meetings as possible and keeping my head down.
Maybe spend the day alone on a date with your wife. Hike, pack a picnic. Rent a boat. Do a crossword puzzle or a regular puzzle.
I know my family has 2 margarita makers and jello shots and vodka gummy bears at the ready...and way too much fireball.
I'm better off alone. And I will be. Sober.
GL.
Happy 4th.
Jules

Purplrks3647

Stay close to SR if possible ~ have you visited the weekender thread?

Exercise always helps me too.

Do you like to be creative - drawing, etc? Working on art projects can be therapeutic.

Luckily I'm able to keep my distance from the party atmosphere....when asked I plan to say that I'm giving my liver a break.

Maybe you could attend a meeting, either in person or online?

Hope you have a good weekend as well

doggonecarl

Any 4th of July tips to avoid temptation?

Avoid all alcohol-centric occasions. You may feel pressure to attend, but the commitment to get and stay sober requires change. And putting sobriety ahead of obligation is one of those changes.

tomsteve

this concerns me:
"family cookouts around these summer holidays usually spell disaster for my sobriety and willpower. "

and ya want to walk right back into it!?!?!?!

wanna avoid temptation?
then dont walk smack dab into it.

other than that, i got nothin

NulaMeansZero

If you know that YOUR going to be temped to drink , then just skip it this year, if you feel like you can enjoy the day without alcohol, go, enjoy yourself , friends and family should support your decision.
Do You!, Actually maybe just treat yourself , spend the day with a love one and go do something fun.

Remember , everything you do should be about you first!

Happy 4th of July, you got this!!

Fly N Buy

Recently I heard a friend tell his story. At times he'd pause and simply say, and then it got worse.

That's a pretty good reminder that I can't ever drink like a non-alcoholic. I am grateful the battle is over as it was fought for many years because one thing is for certain, ours is progressive in nature. Time does not make it better. Jail, institutions and death await. Saying no thanks really pales by comparison.

Around six months I felt confident enough to venture out. I remember it vividly. Today such things don't bother me, but as other have plainly stated it takes times. We speak from experience

And then it got worse......

Dave42001

This is how it's done!!! I'm attending a huge BBQ with all my sober AA buds! Pool, horse shoes, fireworks!! Enjoy Jules!! Great stuff!

Dee74

Yeh, it's not popular bit of advice - but to anyone reading thinking about it, if you feel like you might drink, don't go.

Whatever reasons you feel you have to go, it's not mandatory.

I'm not American, and I dunno about you guys, but I missed quite a few parties and family gatherings over the years when I was drinking and too wasted to get it together.

It would be a little perverse for me to turn around now and go to something that might not be in my best interests.

But...if you absolutely feel like there's no way out of you going...there are some ideas here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...val-guide.html

D

SteelRes211

You all are right and have great tips--Maybe its best for me to bailout on the parties this season and avoid the situation for the time being. I spoke to my wife and she will provide the necessary cover for me when I don't show up.

Purplrks3647

soberclover

Great decision. I have over 4 years and I still wouldn't go. It isn't about the amount of time you have under your belt. It has to do with being smart enough to avoid situations that can compromise your sobriety.

Dee74

I missed a few parties in the months it took me to build my sober muscles up, but I still think that time was a great investment in my recovery.

Again, for anyone reading noones saying you have to stay and home with the lights off - just exercise some caution, for a while, about the kind of social events you go to..you'll look back and not be sorry

D

BrendaChenowyth

You don't have to justify to anyone why you're not drinking.
Nobody is going to think you're uncool.
Normal people can take or leave alcohol and don't find it strange if someone decides not to drink.

You're going to have cravings, but you don't have to give in to them.
Nothing happens if you don't drink. Except that you are free to eat and socialize easily and have a good time and not get dehydrated outdoors.
But you know all the things that can happen if you do drink.
Play the tape back.

waynetheking

If you think have to justify yourself to people for not drinking then your dead wrong. People don't care. So what, you're an alcoholic. By not drinking your showing people you care about yourself and those around you. Be proud of your sobriety. It's a gift. Nothing to hide. If someone offers you a beer just say no thanks. It's that simple.

Daucuscarota

Sober Day # 147 after being dependent on wine, daily, for years
************************************************** *******************

I have been avoiding occasions where I might be tempted. I am guarding my sobriety like a treasure.

There are a few occasions which are unavoidable-----I always bring a large bottle of my favorite soda with me and that's what I drink. I am always holding a glass of it.

Briar

You definitely don't have to go to those kinds of things. I'm usually okay with them now, but I pretty much avoided them entirely for the first year. I knew I couldn't handle it. Even if I was sure I wouldn't drink, I knew it would make me feel isolated and resentful. I worried a lot about what people would assume about me if I told them I don't drink, especially if they knew I used to.

I feel safe to go to parties like that now, but now that I don't drink, they don't seem like that much fun anymore. I find I'd much rather do other things.

When I completed rehab, they gave me a keychain that says "my recovery comes first." I've carried it in my bag ever since. Sometimes I've had to trust it even when I didn't feel like I believed it. It has saved me more than once.

Your recovery is more important than any party. Ever.

FBL

Some great advice here. I also vote for not going or at least cutting it short if you feel an overwhelming urge to drink. As for me, I just stick to soda pop and/or water at functions where there's alcohol being served. To my amazement, hardly anybody drinks like I used to. Most can have one or two and be done...I guess I'll never understand that mentality.

NYCDoglvr

1) If it's a big trigger, don't go. It's not a big deal to miss one barbecue or picnic.

2) If you go, take a sober buddy.

3. Always have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand and constantly sip it.

4) Make an appearance and leave (nobody will notice). Have the phone number of another recovery buddy you can call if you get stressed out.

Delilah1

Hi Steel,

You are smart to skip, I did the same the first few months. Once you have a little more sobriety under your belt you will be able to reassess and see if you feel ready/want to attend these events.

I still always leave myself an out if I want to leave events early.

Hope you have a very Happy 4th.

❤️Delilah