SteelRes211

Well I just got home from the first of several parties this weekend and to my surprise nobody gave a crap that I was not drinking. In my sober head I did a good job of making this a much bigger deal than it was. Actually I sat right next to the drink table and had a big ole bottle of water in front of me (plus empty plates of cake and junk sweets) for the entire night along with a big **** eating grin on my face. By around 6:00 EST the all day-ers were sluring and ready to pass out or fall over--what a sight for sober eyes to finally see. We stuck around to help with the clean up, drove a few folks home then packed up our stuff and came home.

Good lesson to learn here: nobody cares if you drink or not, nor did anybody really notice that I was not drinking, they where too busy getting their fill.

Dee74

If you're going out again to party this weekend, my advice would be to stay vigilant - I've weathered one party, sometimes two, only to reach inexplicably for a beer at the next.

The struggle is not over yet.

D

LadyBlue0527

I don't think I've seen it yet but always have an exit strategy. Then, don't delay using it if needed.

Last weekend I had to go up to my brothers where there was a birthday party going on for my 6 year old great niece. The beer and vodka was flowing freely and someone was even rolling a joint. Nice birthday party for a 6 year old eh?

I got out of there as quickly as possible, not because I wanted to partake rather being around that just doesn't interest me anymore.

Hang tough through these parties and if you need to, leave!

August252015

Agree with the others who say simply, don't go. And as LB said, if you do go, have an exit strategy (and keep a bottle of water or whatever in your hand, and such!).

Here's some elaboration from me and my "why"-
I don't do or go anywhere, or do anything, that I don't enjoy. Period. With family, with friends, anything. And what I enjoy sober is not loud or big parties with a lot of alcohol. Not because I am afraid of triggers (I don't believe in them) but because they are not fun for me.

Also.....any holiday is JUST ANOTHER DAY. The 4th is really no different than the 5th, NYE no different than 12/30 .... etc. The meaning behind any holiday has absolutely ZERO to do with drinking. And it's still just another 24 hours.

At 16 mo, I focus on my emotional sobriety- which i have the privilege to do now because I carefully guarded my physical sobriety so strictly from the beginning. I created a world where everything and everyone in it support me being sober. It is amazing how full my life is now- I'd bore every to tears or make you gag a little if I told you how great it is.

Protect your sobriety no matter what. It's just a day. Avoid any situation that might even just be uncomfortable. Say no to anyone- even family and "best friends" who don't "get it." Don't worry if they "get it." All of this is the kind of thinking that must go with us constantly (to slightly adapt BB).

You can do it. See you sober on the 5th!

August252015

This is a REALLY important point. I have heard people say time and again that they felt secure and stable in their sobriety- their routines, their way of living sober- and the word "inexplicable" is exactly how they describe the sudden urge to drink that pops up at the most unexpected moment. One woman I notably remember talking shared that she suddenly found herself with a wine glass in hand and in the moment had no idea what to do but drink it. This is the "cunning and baffling" part of our disease and why in AA we believe that daily reprieve is what we have, not a "cure" or eternal protection to keep us in the "handling it well" state you describe.

Take good care of yourself.

SteelRes211

Thank you all for the input, yesterday was a birthday party for my sister in-law kinda had to attend but things were calmer than normal. I'm going lay low till the 5th because I know I'll never be out of the woods so why place myself in situations of temptation. It feels too good waking up not feeling alcohol sick to jeopardize the progress I have made to end this evil drinking cycle that has haunted me for years and years.

IFheweresaught

I left the culture of drinking as well. I will be in the sobriety culture for the 4th.

nez

It sounds to me like your soul is sending you messages. I would listen. I get in trouble when I don't. Also remember this isn't he last 4th of July forever and ever, there will be another one next year.What's one 4th of July out of a lifetime?

When I worry about drink pushers, that is my soul talking to me. When I worry about a keg, Margarita machine, beer pong, etc., my soul once again.

Early in sobriety, I didn't even walk down the beer aisle in the grocery store for fear of succumbing to the Sirens song of an ice cold one and winding up on the rocks. Drunk once again. How the hell did this happen?

The good news is that today I can walk down that aisle with it's enticing displays and row upon row of refrigerated beers without a thought. The same with kegs, Margarita machines, beer pong, etc.

I am not cocky about my not drinking, nor am I afraid of drinking once again. The craving and obsession with alcohol are gone. Alcohol is a non-issue. As far as alcohol goes, I am in a safe and secure area of neutrality. It is not part of my thought process.

I only got here by listening to my soul and following suggestions.

NulaMeansZero

Good for you man!!!
Imagine how horrible they all feel this morning ,HA!!
Like everyone says guard your sobriety! Daily struggles will arise, but you have made that decision to choose life, a sober one .
Stoked for you , keep it up...

August252015

Good going these past few days!

And i love the line about leaving the drinking culture and living in the sobriety culture. It truly is bigger and so much fuller than we could fathom when we were in our drinking lives.