Sad
 

I have never met someone like my bf. We have been together over 13 years and every day he still amazes me. Have no idea why he stays with me while I struggle with my alcoholism and depression. I feel like I should step back and let him go forward.

((((Muunray)))).

He sees something in you that you don't (or can't) see in yourself.

Sobriety is a real eye-opener. I hope you can successfully achieve lasting sobriety and recovery so that you, too, can see the goodness in yourself.

You are lucky to have someone like that! Cherish and nuture that relationship!

Perhaps instead of stepping back you could step up and show him how serious you are this time?

I'm sure you're a better person than your alcoholism would have you take credit for Muunray :)

It's never too late to be the person we should have been :)

D

I think we sometimes have the tendency to complicate things for ourselves. Don't be harsh on yourself and welcome the good he gives.

i deal with the same issue myself. Absolutly no idea why my wife stuck around. No idea why she sitll sticks around. and many times i've thought she'd be happier without me etc..

BUT
It also goes the other way too. I also often think geeze she must really love me to tolerate all this and so on. Like damn i'm really fortunate to have someone whos gonnna go through thick and thin with me etc.. not everyone gets that or finds that.

The reality too is no ones perfect we all have our flaws etc..

hang in there!

People stick around because they love you. Not everyone runs at the first sign of trouble. Some people understand that there is an incredible person underneath all those problems and they want to be there to experience that person when all the problems are gone. If you have someone that wont give up on you, then certainly you can have the strength to not give up on yourself.

I love this message. Exactly this.

Depression and alcoholism feed each other, and it can be a hard cycle to escape. He's with you because he LOVES YOU, believes in you, and he is OK with seeing you make mistakes as long as you keep trying.

If you feel like you don't deserve someone, don't give up -- become the kind of person that DOES deserve them! What would it take to become the kind of person you think your boyfriend deserves to be with? What actions can you take to get there?

hows it going muunray?

D

Re: Sad
 

If he wanted to move forward, he would have done so by now. So, there must be a reason why.

You have to admire his resolve, though. Anyone who remains steadfast in their relationship is willing to sacrifice more than the average partner. It’s a game changer as far as I’m concerned.

I’m also a stern believer in second chance opportunities, and I think the same can be said of him. With that said, I think you need to consider all the facts before you proceed.

If you’re in a relationship for superficial reasons only and have no emotional connection to the person in question, then it’s not worth pursuing. The same rule applies to friends and close confidants as well.

I have also learned that as an adult no one else can foster a sense of happiness without some effort on my part.

If this person provides me with a profound sense of enjoyment, real not imagined, then chances are they are the right individual for me. And the longer we stay in a relationship, healthy or not, the more comfortable we become. In your case, I feel the comfort level is justified, especially when you consider the facts.

Let me ask you this: Has their demeanor changed one iota throughout the years? If the answer is ‘no’ then you’re in good company. If the answer is yes, then you may want to weigh your options. If it were me, I would try to relish this moment as long as you can. Why? You never know what could have been if the timing was different. Something, worthwhile, to think about. Good luck.

The misery of drinking can blind us to our own good qualities that other people can see.