DontRemember

I think I'm going to be sick! I was never one to 'skirt' financial issues(until the past couple years) but, as I made my list yesterday...I'm disgusted at what I've done to others. They don't even know the money is being written/sent today and I'm not saying anything(these aren't creditors but,friends/family). These people still talk to me and it's insane to me that they do. I know when someone owes me $$ and doesn't pay or 'own up to it',I cut them off. I'm talking down payment on a modest house type of an amount I feel I owe and am paying today..Yikes!

PhoenixJ

I feel the same way and have 'lists' in my head. In some cases the money would make no difference to them, as the breach of trust has gone- for all time. Others are simply not there to find. One thing (which I am going to- but with significant dosh) is to map out a charity and donate that money to them. Kind of a symbolic amends. This is why non alcies to an extent feel that trust is the major stumbling block. Getting booze- need money, or theft- or deception. No wonder my fam. do not want me around. Multiply that by thousands of times.

Tommyh

you`re doing the right thing

i started on my biggest financial amends 3 years sober and finished when i was 12 years sober and it was a good feeling.

last year I became aware of some 39 year old amends I needed to make.I made them for just under 1000 bucks and now i feel a lot better about it.

making amends helped me get my self respect back,all those amends was worth it

ScottFromWI

Yep, we all made some pretty bad decisions due to drinking, and financial matters were not excluded.

Doing the right thing now by living sober and making payments where they are due is the best way to re-gain the trust of others. Learn from it but don't dwell on it.

DontRemember

That's the worst part about it..I make more than most of these people and have had the money to pay it back...I just didn't. I'm talking like $500+ while out drinking and gambling "I'll get you back,don't want to go to the atm" type crap.. I spent the night making calls for addresses "I want to send you a card".. I'm writing over $20K(us) in checks as we speak..Unreal! Some I'm dropping off cash to. Here my 'happy' ass is buying new cars and trucks while owing these people,some with small children,money..Stupid and selfish!

DontRemember

I was boat shopping yesterday when it 'hit me' that I was being a selfish *****...again,just in a different manner..jesus, the way they would look at me being owed "$40" and I buy a boat?

ScottFromWI

I think it's important to keep focused on what you are doing now and what you can do vs. beating yourself up about things you cannot change. Yes, it was selfish but it happened in the past - and you can never change what happened in the past - only what you do today.

Dee74

Don't beat yourself up too much. You're fixing things now.

Not everyone has the character to want to do that, or follow through with the idea

D

Jules714

Good for you!
I *hope to be able to do the same someday!
Onwards and upwards!
Kudos,
J

tomsteve

did you buy the boat?
either way, stop beating yourself up.
youre making the financial amends!

youve come a LONG way,DR. maybe tonight instead of lookin at how far you have to go, look at how far youve come,eh?

nez

I can't put a price tag on my sobriety, but any financial amends I have made were a small price to pay for the serenity and peace of mind that I experience today.

DontRemember

I was this close >.< to signing a $25,000 check for the down payment and caught myself.. I dropped off an envelope with $1900 cash at my friends house late last night(he has a 10yr old daughter/single parent) and I 'think' I owed him $900'ish(for the past year).. He just called me..He was in shock and asked if it was from me. I said "yes"..He said he was having trouble this month with coming up with the rent and was so happy to not have to worry any longer. Beats my selfish boat!

2ndhandrose

^^^^^^^^^ the first post I read today when I opened up SR!

Awesome!!!!

BrianTX2000

my wife stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from me and I expect that she can never repay it. All the same I would have given it to her if she asked for it. I know she feels bad about it, but I really could care less about the $$, I care more about her. I am sure your friends feel the same way.