Steely

If I heard anyone using racist,sexist, ageist (old timer, eek) language I'd protest, that's for sure, but not the F word as a word in itself.

Gottalife

Is the MF word regarded as sexist? It is not in use in my part of the world.

Gottalife

There is such a thing as a group inventory, though IME very few groups bother with the practice. That might be one reason some groups get such a bad rap on here.

Such an inventory might consider how the group is doing with its primary purpose. Are we attracting and keeping newcomers might be one question for the group at ask itself.

Maybe the group feels like an earlier poster who said if someone doesn't like the language they can leave (and maybe die?). Pretty hard to reconcile that attitude with the fifth tradition don't you think? On the other hand, has any suffering alcoholic ever left a meeting because the language wasn't bad enough?

I know I am pushing it up hill here. It is difficult if not impossible to change a group, and in the end people vote with their feet. Only have to look at the dismal recovery rates that are quoted on here. I don't accept them as valid in terms of having tried the program, but I have seen people driven away by bad behaviour in the meetings., before they ever got near to discovering the program.

Steely

What does MF mean Gottalife? Until I know I can't answer your question.

Ken33xx

Yes ultimately people vote with their feet.

The newcomer? Personally I was more receptive to meetings where I felt no one was trying to sell me on something.

I didn't find the flavor of certain groups appealing.

But that was me.

Gottalife

How can I spell it out without causing offense? The F has the traditional meaning with an er on the end, and the M is mother.

Steely

Yes, definitely sexist in my books Gottalife. Don't hear too much FF ever spoken.

ThatWasTheOldMe

The only thing that massively pissed me off was a back to basics group leader throwing around misogynistic phrasing; referring to his "squeeze" or referring to women as a "piece of ass," WITH WOMEN IN THE ROOM, while he was supposedly walking us through the steps.

That was not okay.

Ken33xx

AA deals with dysfunctional/unhealthy people and I doubt any of the complaints we hear today anything new. They've likely been going one since the very beginning.

Women in AA? I'd be careful. I don't know what else you can do. Women only meetings might help but they might always readily available.

Ken33xx

We've got a few guys who get... shall we say... emotional when they share especially when they bring up their ex-wife. Personally, I find it embarrassing when we have a woman (especially someone visiting) and one of the gents starts blasting away.

But everyone in the room is an adult. There is no crosstalk and the women to my knowledge have never been hassled. There are creepy guys in AA who go after the ladies but you won't find them my home group. And there's no dropping of the n-word or gay bashing.

But there are fellows.... not all mind you... that do curse up a storm.

Ken33xx

In the U.S. the term can be used a noun, verb, adjective, insult or term of endearment. All depends on the context in which it is used. Is it sexist? Imo, no. But it's a strong word and not something I often use.

miamifella

I do not see the correlation between using the f-word and spirituality.

Spiritually progressed people have sex, get frustrated, and may have different ideas about language than some other people. So, yes, people progressing spiritually might very well use vulgar language in sharing their experience.

I think it is better to look at how the language is used. Are they trying to hurt someone? Are they lashing out? I have seen people use the name Jesus in an attempt to shame others at a meeting. That is offensive language because it was an offensive action.

As I learned in Catholic school, saying the f-word or the s-word might be vulgar, but it is in no way a sin.

Maudcat

Imo, the meetings all have their own vibe, and you have to find the one that works for you.
I don't care for salty language in a meeting, nor do I like the war stories.
I don't go to AA anymore, though the meetings were helpful early on.
I like SR. People are respectful of each other, and caring.
Actually, long before I went to AA, I was a grateful member of Al-Anon.
THOSE meetings were terrific!
I learned so much about living life on life's terms in those rooms.
AA, not so much.

SoberCAH

I don't use profanity in AA meetings.

I also don't like hearing it in meetings.

I hear more of it coming from newcomers than old-timers.

But I try to be patient with them and demonstrate that we can communicate without lowering the level of discussion.

I really don't like hearing profanity when older people, particularly women, are present, but that's probably an idiosyncrasy on my part.