I need advice. Am I dying?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 1
I need advice. Am I dying?
I've been binge-drinking for a year now (it got worse as time went on), and I need to know what the aftermath is and what is wrong with me. I'm just gonna list the facts:
I drink/drank about half of whatever the largest bottle of vodka is (half gallon?) Daily.
I'm 29.
I was/am bulimic. I figured if I overdrink I could just puke most of it up. Not the case obviously.
I recently chose to put myself into a detox hospital. I couldn't stop shaking and under my eyes were/ still are yellow.
I had a seizure in Detox.
I drank again 5 days later (when I got out). It then started to escalate again.
I signed myself up for an intensive outpatient program.
I take Wellabutrin, and now also neurontin, naltroxone, and trazadone to sleep. Excuse my spelling.
I have a very fuzzy short-term memory and dont know what I'm doing half the time.
I'm extremely paranoid.
Drinking has decreased, but not significantly.
I'm afraid to get my liver tested.
I'm afraid to get my brain tested.
Am I dying? It's like I dont know how to stop. It's just routine at this point. And I'm scared to death as if I'm already doomed. I don't know what to do. I'm obviously not healthy. Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Edit: feel free to ask anything if needed
I drink/drank about half of whatever the largest bottle of vodka is (half gallon?) Daily.
I'm 29.
I was/am bulimic. I figured if I overdrink I could just puke most of it up. Not the case obviously.
I recently chose to put myself into a detox hospital. I couldn't stop shaking and under my eyes were/ still are yellow.
I had a seizure in Detox.
I drank again 5 days later (when I got out). It then started to escalate again.
I signed myself up for an intensive outpatient program.
I take Wellabutrin, and now also neurontin, naltroxone, and trazadone to sleep. Excuse my spelling.
I have a very fuzzy short-term memory and dont know what I'm doing half the time.
I'm extremely paranoid.
Drinking has decreased, but not significantly.
I'm afraid to get my liver tested.
I'm afraid to get my brain tested.
Am I dying? It's like I dont know how to stop. It's just routine at this point. And I'm scared to death as if I'm already doomed. I don't know what to do. I'm obviously not healthy. Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Edit: feel free to ask anything if needed
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
I'd suggest asking your doctor for help in getting thru withdrawal, and quitting drinking for good. We can't tell you what the state of your health is, but your doctor could. Why not make an appt and ask him/her for help in getting sober.
I'd suggest asking your doctor for help in getting thru withdrawal, and quitting drinking for good. We can't tell you what the state of your health is, but your doctor could. Why not make an appt and ask him/her for help in getting sober.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome.
When did you sign up for IOP? Have you gone? I'm wondering why they aren't giving you the tools and support you need to quit.
I can't answer the question of if you are dying. But your current abuse is unhealthy to the extreme. ED...paranoia...help for this is beyond what an online forum can do. This is the realm for professionals. But we can offer support and I hope you can find your way to sobriety. Once sober you should be able to better tackle the other issues.
Originally Posted by poisonpam 
feel free to ask anything if needed
I can't answer the question of if you are dying. But your current abuse is unhealthy to the extreme. ED...paranoia...help for this is beyond what an online forum can do. This is the realm for professionals. But we can offer support and I hope you can find your way to sobriety. Once sober you should be able to better tackle the other issues.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome pam 
I think, even tho it's scary, you really need to let your self be examined by a Dr.
They can not only tell you what the medical issues are but how they might be fixed or dealt with.
Keep posting here too - it's my belief noone is ever beyond hope
D
I think, even tho it's scary, you really need to let your self be examined by a Dr.
They can not only tell you what the medical issues are but how they might be fixed or dealt with.
Keep posting here too - it's my belief noone is ever beyond hope
D
Member
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 82
I felt exactly like you just a couple of months ago.
If you stop drinking then you'll get some kind of sense of perspective back and be able to make decisions about the facts that are facing you.
The folks here will help you every step of the way with non medical advice, but you'll have to see a doctor to find out the current state of your liver and brain.
That's really the next thing you should be doing. Of course you are scared, I was too and it's OK to admit that.
Good luck.
If you stop drinking then you'll get some kind of sense of perspective back and be able to make decisions about the facts that are facing you.
The folks here will help you every step of the way with non medical advice, but you'll have to see a doctor to find out the current state of your liver and brain.
That's really the next thing you should be doing. Of course you are scared, I was too and it's OK to admit that.
Good luck.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 46
I'm sorry you are feeling so scared. I've been there. What does your out patient treatment entail? If it is not helping enough, is in patient rehab an option?
Are the meds helping with any of your symptoms or making them worse? You mentioned paranoia. I personally have had some adverse effects such as severe anxiety and paranoia from certain meds that others did OK on. At least you realised you are not healthy and want to get better. The only way I have been able to stop drinking is through supplements that calm my nervous system...as recommended by my doctor. If at all possible I would try to find a doctor who focuses on a holistic approach as you know between drinking and being bulimic you brain is not getting any nurishment. I hope this helps some . I'd post some cute emoticons but I'm new on here and don't know how. p.s. I was bulimic for 10 years and got over it...that was a long time ago.
Are the meds helping with any of your symptoms or making them worse? You mentioned paranoia. I personally have had some adverse effects such as severe anxiety and paranoia from certain meds that others did OK on. At least you realised you are not healthy and want to get better. The only way I have been able to stop drinking is through supplements that calm my nervous system...as recommended by my doctor. If at all possible I would try to find a doctor who focuses on a holistic approach as you know between drinking and being bulimic you brain is not getting any nurishment. I hope this helps some . I'd post some cute emoticons but I'm new on here and don't know how.
p.s. I was bulimic for 10 years and got over it...that was a long time ago.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Welcome to the forum. That is a ton of drinking and with already having a DT seizure this is a serious situation, especially if you are drinking on medications. Are you attending the outpatient rehab? It sounds like getting yourself into an inpatient program would be a very good idea.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I can understand you being scared but I don't think you will successfully outrun this problem. It will need to be dealt with head on. I'd muster up all your courage and get into a doctor and be completely honest about your drinking. They see it more than you think, so you won't be the first. I wish you the best. Its time to save your own life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
It's important to educate ourselves about
addiction. How it affects us mentally, emotionally,
physically. It took folks in a rehab inpatient
hospital, facility to teach me and feed me
some important information regarding
my addiction and give me the gift of a
recovery program as a guideline to follow
each and everyday I remain sober to achieve
health, happiness and many more promising
gifts.
At the end of my rope, my family stepped
in placing me into the hands of those capable
to helping me and many one days sober
down the road I am healthy, happy and
most of all sober.
You don't have to go thru this sickness
alone by urself. Allow those who are
knowledgeable about addiction and
diseases to help you so that you can
get healthy and live a better quality of
life.
addiction. How it affects us mentally, emotionally,
physically. It took folks in a rehab inpatient
hospital, facility to teach me and feed me
some important information regarding
my addiction and give me the gift of a
recovery program as a guideline to follow
each and everyday I remain sober to achieve
health, happiness and many more promising
gifts.
At the end of my rope, my family stepped
in placing me into the hands of those capable
to helping me and many one days sober
down the road I am healthy, happy and
most of all sober.
You don't have to go thru this sickness
alone by urself. Allow those who are
knowledgeable about addiction and
diseases to help you so that you can
get healthy and live a better quality of
life.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
You are young enough that you can probably reverse all the damage you are currently doing to your body.
First things first...stop drinking and vomiting, go inpatient if you need to. Go to a psych ward if you need to. You can unravel the rest later. But that needs to be done ASAP.
First things first...stop drinking and vomiting, go inpatient if you need to. Go to a psych ward if you need to. You can unravel the rest later. But that needs to be done ASAP.
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