Obladi

Mizz, keep writing.
Getting something out is so much better than staying bottled up.
I'm glad you made an appearance and hope to see more of you.

xo
O

Pagekeeper

Sorry to read you are struggling. Getting sober and staying sober is the hardest thing an alcoholic will ever do. It's the Mt Everest of our lives.

You had mentioned AA meetings and trying the program before all this. It has worked for me for over 10 years now, and I was a chronic relapser for several years.

Regardless if it's AA, Smart, RR, or something else, I think choosing a recovery program and following its suggestions is the best way for most of us. There are some that can make their own plan, but from my experience, most of us are too sick for that.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

Hawkeye13

Hey Mizz

lessgravity

Mad you teased us and then ducked out again. You know you have a whole team here hoping you get it straight. Come on back.

SoberLeigh

Sending you love, Mizz.

Delizadee

Hey Mizzuno, I was in the same place you were for all of September.
I finally got back on my feet.
I was absolutely hopeless. I went to detox, got out, and hit the bottle straight away again.
I had to unravel all that crap and I was ready to give up. Those 20 plus times of going back out, I didn't think I could put the drink down again.
If I can do it I promise you you can too. So don't go too far, come back and keep posting and don't give up on yourself.

Mizzuno

Hello!

Mizzuno

Its not great. Its not bad. Its not fulfilling.
A bit on the questionable side.

A customer said today " Why the heck are you working here with a voice like that?"
Story of my life, I guess.
I said " Im not really sure but I work here and i will sing here"
AY YI YI!

All those dreams....... not fulfilled. ya know?
What a sham!

Dee74

Good to hear from you Miz.

Does that mean you're still struggling with drinking?

D

Kaneda8888

Mizz, its so wonderful to hear from you. Please post whatever you feel comfortable with. I really hope that you are feeling better and in a safe place.

Mizzuno

A big GIGANTIC YES, sprinkled in with a little bit of no!

how long have I been on this site? Crawling back? Am I ******* doomed? It sure as hell feels that way. One year sober on many occasions and then I am back to the old vino. What a ******* nightmare. I mean, how does this cycle change? Im all good sober until 1 year later? ( all writings are done in a very calm voice. I am not angry or emotional. Just inquiring....no one really has the answer)

Mizzuno

I am safe. Hi, Kaneda8888.

HI!

Dee74

I tried and went back to drinking so many times, I felt doomed too..but I knew I had to try again.

Dying on my bathroom floor at 40 (and probably not being discovered for a week or two) was not the legacy I wanted to leave.

nearly 12 years on, my legacy is looking a lot better. I've attained some dreams, missed the shot at some others but discovered more things to strive for.

Life is good (even when its not) and I love who I am. I Look forward to every new day.

I know you'd like to leave a positive legacy too Miz.
You still have that chance.

D

Mizzuno

Legacy....
so, I can get sober for one years time. Ive done that multiple times.

I seriously dont know my issue. Maybe I need to leave the country.....I mean. TRUMP and all. Its ******* bad here.
I digress.

I dont like all this, btw.

Mizzuno

Oh my god! That is tragic , Dee. A week or two? Really?
My heart hurts.

Dee74

It probably would have been that long at that point of my life.
I was pretty cut off from everything and every one...but hey - I didn't die

There's always a million reasons to drink and without bringing politics into it sure the world can be a scary inhospitable place....but I live in the same world and I can see reasons to go on now, that I never could as a drinker.

A year would be great but maybe even more important than the days is the changes we have to make.

I had to build a sober life I didn't want to run from.

I had to become a sober me who could live in the world and not shrink away from or fall apart against the things I didn't like.

The only way I could do either of those things was stay sober, Miz.

I hope you'll keep posting here, sober, Miz - you've been missed - you add something to the place...and I think maybe we can help you find something you're looking for in something to yourself too.

D

Mizzuno

I mean....
Its an all or nothing
A this or that
an unfulfilled or fulfilled
a resistance and a soldiering march
a "YOU'RE only someone of value if you maintain steady sobriety" kinda crapola
Oh, and a AA is the only way.
Do this or do that
Yada yada
yaba daba doo!
Blah

Im one of those "**** YOUR SYSTEM" gals.
Authority? What authority?

Anyways...I should probably get it together.

(all of the above was written with humor. I know....its hard to read humor but....Its there)

Mizzuno

Dee,
For real, you have always been there. Thank You.
We are strangers but you still lend a healing/ helping hand. I thank you for that!
I hope you know you make a difference.

Dee74

Thanks for the kind words Miz

I think you know that everyone is a person of value here - every single person.

We unashamedly want folks to get sober here.

But in wanting that I hope we all remember how hard that way was, how many times we tried, and that we then leave our judgement at the door.

If you want to be sober and you have the hunger for it, there's no better place than SR for support Miz.

We don't want to get folks sober so they somehow attain value - we want them to get sober cos thats the way true happiness lies - and everyone deserves true happiness Miz

D

Mizzuno

I do feel like I am once again in ground hogs day.
There could be some co-dependent aspect to all of this. in fact, I am sure there is. Positive there is.
So... I make the change...and I can.....and then its still the same.
I really dont know how to do this alone in my family?
I wont go into it.
I realize after so many years the dynamic of it all with what I have chosen.
This is where running away from it all seems plausible.
My choices.
My chosen family.