Tiberivs

Well it's been 2 weeks now, and the damn thing won't even budge. I reckon I could go on like this forever. So it's all good...

Now, I only noticed a slight (barely noticeable) improvement on my mental... meaning how easily I get pissed and so on. I sure hope that it'll cool down in time with patience and focus but for the time being... it kinda sucks. I still get easily aggravated and there's this constant craving to be alone by the time I finish my work for the day. Reckon it's just the way I am...

But I'm grateful for the fact that it's been 2 weeks of sober me. I spent one night with a buddy of mine hanging out. Only drank a couple of beers for the entire night. Couldn't let him down and buy tea or whatever, especially in those places that we went. But i kept my sobriety close and everything went so smooth... Hell, I almost managed to convince my buddy to quit some of his old habits.

However, today was a real "fun" day at work. I didn't managed to do everything of what I wanted to, I was under stress all day long and at one point, I really got tired and fed up of just about everything around. When I finished stuff and got in my car to drive back home, I had this small idea that "maybe I should go and buy myself some cigars... just to you know... " but in an instance I replied "If I smoke, I'll drink... so no." And so I took the highway back home (leaving the dirty city behind) and spent a quiet midnight looking at the stars.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on 2 weeks Tiberivs, glad to hear that things are going so well for you. As addicts we tend to have that "instant gratification" tendency, and even after we quit drinking it doesn't always go away. So patience ( as much as we don't have it ) is a must. Glad to see you thinking through the craving too...that's a positive step for sure.

Dave42001

Great job on 2 weeks!! Keep it up!

Dee74

My bad.
I missed the bit about drinking some beers - refer my post below.

D

NulaMeansZero

keep it up man, instead of drinking beer , drink some non alcoholic beer, coors makes one, there's odouls. Throw that **** in a glass and your friends will never know. if it hasnt already , you'll realize that people dont really give a **** if you drink or you dont, its us thinking they do. We put too much pressure on ourselves that way, its hard to say this but its true" You'll find out who your true friends are when you make the decision to GO SOBER"
Work on yourself man , your doing great!

NYCDoglvr

I don't recommend alcohol-free beer because it tastes the same and can prolong craving. Two weeks is a very big deal, Travis. We're all in this together.

Tiberivs

What? ... you've gotta be kidding me. Non alcoholic beer tastes a whole lot different than normal one. I drank some maybe a couple of times and it sucks. I'll never enjoy drinking that thing . I'd pick water or soda anytime over non alcoholic beer. It has to be the stupidest invention along with the fidget spinner. And who's Travis?

ScottFromWI

NA beer/wine is a very controversial topic around here Tiberivs...some people hate it, some people are indifferent and some find it leads back to drinking the real thing. So yeah, he's not kidding. Not to say that's the case for everyone but just be aware that it can and does happen.

Regarding who "travis" is my guess is just a mis-type of your name ( autocorrect maybe? ) ;-)

NulaMeansZero

Sorry about the NA Beer topic, wasn't aware it was a big deal, taste like crap anyway....lets redo that comment, get a coke and say its a cocktail!!

dwtbd

Going out with friends and not letting them down by only drinking a few beers is your goal for sobriety?

Tiberivs

Of course not...
It's more like drinking 2 beers instead of 2 gallons.
And there's no "letting them down"... If there's anything that has no influence over my actions is peer pressure.
I chose to go out that night, have a little talk and drink a couple of beers.
Anyhow, sober for me doesn't require acting like one of those "born again" weirdos that won't even take a sip of alcohol because they'll live in shame forever(oh the hypocrisy...). Or something like that... I had problems with alcohol and now I've managed not only to restrain myself from heavy and regularly drinking, but to have a better mindset and enjoy other things in life. Alcohol just ain't there anymore.

Dee74

It's not about being 'born again' or 'living in shame' for me - you're completely missing the point,

It's not dogma - not for me - my truth was hard won.

The point is about finally accepting that I have no control over my intake of alcohol once I start drinking.

It's about accepting that alcohol and I have a toxic relationship, always have and always will.

It's about accepting that thoughts of being able to stop at two drinks or drinking like a gentleman time and time again for the rest of my life is a complete fantasy.

You may well indeed be a different kind of drinker to me - I have to be honest and say I don't see it in your posts - but you may be.

I wish you the best with that control thing.

We're always here if the wheels come off.

D

Gottalife

I am not too sure about the born aagain holy rollers I have met in my journey, but the term reborn is used in the AA basic text, and it fits me quite well. William James talked about once born and twice born people in his book.

The once borns we all know. They start life, hitting the ground running. They fit in, they achieve, they meet goals, they live to a plan, they get on with others, they are just regular folks out there living, without any of the drama that befell me.

My first birth was a bit of a disaster. My life crashed on take off. By the age of twenty two, it was all over. My faulty programming had led me to disaster, total defeat.

Then I got a second chance, kind of reborn with a new set of attitudes, and my life became much better, much more like it should have been the first time around. That change I think, is the primary reason I have stayed sober. My experience fits quite well with James's twice born theory.

dwtbd

Controlling the drinking and keeping to two beers instead of two gallons, is ,I'm sure, possible , though it will probably require a lot of self honesty and restraint. E.g. do you want the two beers , drinking without the consequences of drunkeness or is drinking beer just something that happens in some social settings? For me the desire would create the idea of social acceptance.

I'm no holy roller, but I am a teetotaler. It took me a long time and heart ache to decide being a regular , heavy drinker, booze hound, intoxication enthusiast and addictied to alcohol to realize I didn't want that anymore.

My screen name is an acronym for' don't want to be drunk' , not drinking at all is really just a consequence of not wanting to be a drunk , ever again. It's just easier than moderating , and the biggest shocker, to me, is I prefer it. Alcohol(intoxication) really isn't all 'that'

wish you well , hope to see you around

Tiberivs

Those 2 beers don't occur daily... I don't even think they occur twice a month.
I basically don't need and don't wanna drink alcohol. The 2 beers concept is a social one, and it may occur whenever I decide to hang out with folks. Now I rarely get to hang out because I've far more important stuff to do. To be honest, beer or any alcoholic beverage sucks without a good smoke. That's why I decided to quit smoking as well.

I don't drink alone anymore.
I remember that I always drank alone, and even after rowdy nights, when I got home, I'd always pour one more.

I don't know what else to say, rather than the obvious I see and feel.
I'm totally different now, and I cannot get phased.

ScottFromWI

All of that is absolutely up to you Tiberivs....but as has been stated before, please remember that we are a community that seeks and promotes complete abstinence. 2 beers is too many for any of us at any time, doesn't matter if its social, isolated or any other way.

Tiberivs

I understand.

bullmas

I've really tried hard, many times in the past to drink only one or two .. I just didn't have the ability .

Dee74

That doesn't change my post to you, I'm afraid.

I don't expect to change your mind, but I'm going to re-iterate for the benefit of anyone else reading..

I'd do well with my limits for a while, but then I'd have an extra one, cos why not...soon 2 beers was became 4 and then 8 and the 16.

The great delusion for us all is that we've suddenly found control.

My pride would not let me be different. It would not let me be seen as 'weak'...I feared change - and I suffered for that ridiculous fear and male pride.

I love the life I have now - its authentic.

The irony is of course now I march truly to beat of my own drum, not simply following the crowd.

I'm the man I always wanted to be

D

waynetheking

Tiberivs perhaps your not an alcoholic. Just a heavy drinker that has the ability to cut back on his drinking. If that's the case, I commend you for that.
If you are an alcoholic then cutting back is impossible. This disease will always get worse. Like dee said, 2 will turn into 20. Without fail.
Just stay with us and read our stories. You'll know what to do. I have to be honest here, knowing what I know about alcohol and given the chance of not being an alcoholic, I would still choose not to drink anymore. It is so counterproductive and a total waste of time in any circumstance. Those of us that are in recovery are totally relieved that alcohol has nothing to do with our lives anymore. Alcohol will never live up to your expectations. Not even in the smallest amounts. It's just an overrated hyped up crap of a product that does nothing but destroy. It's poison. Plan and simple.
I wish you the the best. Just don't drink.