Question to those in recovery..
Soberado
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Cleveland Ohio-ish
Posts: 395
Barfing every morning till my eyes practically popped out of my head while brushing my teeth and then shaking so bad that I barely could down a shot. That was when I took a good hard look at myself and said "what in the hell are you doing dude".
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
When I realized that I no longer had control over my drinking. Drinking kinda snuck up on me. I was having a tough time at work, and had been for a while. Nothing to do with drinking. It was the work.
I used alcohol to de-stress and relax when I wasn't working.
I used alcohol to de-stress and relax when I wasn't working.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
I think we all stop because different types of evidence that point to the fact that our lives are unmanageable, we are unhappy with who or what we have become, or are becoming, and realise (perhaps fleetingly while still in the throes of alcoholic drinking) that nothing will change while alcohol is still present in our lives because we just can't cut down.
I spent a long time looking for people who had the spotted the same evidence as me and was keen to hang on to the differences rather than acknowledge the main similarities. At the end of the day, if alcohol is causing (or adding to) our problems and we can't just cut down, then we need to quit. We can to and fro about whether we are alcoholic later - well it becomes evident by the way we cope when alcohol is removed from our lives. I thought it'd be like stopping smoking and after dealing with the physical effects it'd be plain sailing, but I found that it had been more of an emotional and social crutch than id realised and needed to do much more work on my recovery than I'd expected. But then, sobriety has given me so much more than I'd ever have thought possible as well.
BB
I spent a long time looking for people who had the spotted the same evidence as me and was keen to hang on to the differences rather than acknowledge the main similarities. At the end of the day, if alcohol is causing (or adding to) our problems and we can't just cut down, then we need to quit. We can to and fro about whether we are alcoholic later - well it becomes evident by the way we cope when alcohol is removed from our lives. I thought it'd be like stopping smoking and after dealing with the physical effects it'd be plain sailing, but I found that it had been more of an emotional and social crutch than id realised and needed to do much more work on my recovery than I'd expected. But then, sobriety has given me so much more than I'd ever have thought possible as well.
BB
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,828
A severe panic attack that put me in the ER was the final straw, but it was building up for quite some time before that. Let's see...morning shakes, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, raging paranoia, depression, hopelessness, lack of proper sleep, poor eating habits, I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
For me it was the Four Horsemen.
This section of the BB quoted below described my state of mind perfectly at the end of my drinking. When I reached the point where I couldn't imagine life either with or without alcohol I was in a special spot in hell that is hard to describe to anyone who hasn't been there. By the last days of my drinking they were showing up on my doorstep every morning when I came to. I would go outside to smoke my first cigarette of the day and contemplate whether I should just end things or go back inside and have me first drink of the day. I had a moment of lucidity one morning and called a rehab and made an appointment for an assessment. I haven't had a drink since the day of that appointment 4+ years ago.
Alcoholics Anonymous pp. 151-152
This section of the BB quoted below described my state of mind perfectly at the end of my drinking. When I reached the point where I couldn't imagine life either with or without alcohol I was in a special spot in hell that is hard to describe to anyone who hasn't been there. By the last days of my drinking they were showing up on my doorstep every morning when I came to. I would go outside to smoke my first cigarette of the day and contemplate whether I should just end things or go back inside and have me first drink of the day. I had a moment of lucidity one morning and called a rehab and made an appointment for an assessment. I haven't had a drink since the day of that appointment 4+ years ago.
FOR MOST normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt--and one more failure.
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen--Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.]
The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did-then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen--Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand!
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don’t miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.]
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I was simply....DONE. I finally accepted that I was killing myself and that it was quit or die - probably in a year, 18 mo according to the doctor I finally "heard." That was 15+ (470 days) months ago.
There are a lot of things that happened- some similar to many mentioned above- but nothing "worked" until I was ready.
You can quit if it is the most important thing to you. I can say my life is unbelievably better and quite frankly a miracle now that I live in recovery.
There are a lot of things that happened- some similar to many mentioned above- but nothing "worked" until I was ready.
You can quit if it is the most important thing to you. I can say my life is unbelievably better and quite frankly a miracle now that I live in recovery.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
That's always a good question. I spent entirely too much time thinking about drinking, drinking and recovering. I take pride in my fitness and I was physically a mess. It seemed I was always dealing with something drinking related and it usually wasn't good. Then I had a serious injury and that was it.
So ultimately it was that after 10+ years I figured out what a monstrous waste of time and a pain in the butt being an alcoholic was.
So ultimately it was that after 10+ years I figured out what a monstrous waste of time and a pain in the butt being an alcoholic was.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
My son calling me a drunk and seeing the disgust in my children's eyes and realizing how badly I was harming them.
I knew for a long time that my drinking was a problem..... I just couldn't really accept that it had to end, not a break, not a time out, I had to quit forever. That was the moment. My boys and their needs are way more important to me than drinking. I just wish I'd gotten it together years ago.
I knew for a long time that my drinking was a problem..... I just couldn't really accept that it had to end, not a break, not a time out, I had to quit forever. That was the moment. My boys and their needs are way more important to me than drinking. I just wish I'd gotten it together years ago.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 588
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
i think it might be important to understand a person doesnt have to get in as serious shape as many. its possible to see the problems alcohol is causing early on and stop before alcoholism progresses.
heres the intro to the 2nd set of stories in the big book of AA. whether someone may be contemplating AA, cant stand AA, or just might not think theyre bad enough YET, its a good read for all:
We think that about one-half of today's incoming A.A. members were never advanced cases of alcoholism; though, given time, all might have been.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The twelve who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these twelve A.A.'s, and thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
heres the intro to the 2nd set of stories in the big book of AA. whether someone may be contemplating AA, cant stand AA, or just might not think theyre bad enough YET, its a good read for all:
We think that about one-half of today's incoming A.A. members were never advanced cases of alcoholism; though, given time, all might have been.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The twelve who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these twelve A.A.'s, and thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
This sounds so like me.
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