Desperate to not drink again...tired
You know, I strongly believe that if and when I feel true peace it is always brought about through grace, which I need to find humility to recieve, otherwise I dont spot it, want it or open myself to it. So, if all the geographic did was help you on the way to humble that it in itself one of the greatest gifts that you could ever get.
As well as AA and getting involved in my new church, one great way of getting to know others in my own new local community was through volunteering. Not necessarily ongoing commitments as my work keeps me very busy, but silly stuff... Marshalling at running events (I don't actually run in these but it's nice if I can free a club member up to run themselves), helping on the ticket gate on bonfire night, chief donkey-pacifier at the Living Nativity even, serving food at the Cathedral on Christmas Day at their meal for people who'd otherwise be alone for Christmas or not be able to buy a dinner.... it's meant I've met people I wouldn't have done and have actually had good fun.
There are some great threads on here about hobbies and activities people have done, so those could be worth a looksie. If I can find any of them I'll post the link to them on here for you. I started off by thinking back to things I enjoyed before drinking took over, so have had some tap dancing, choir, art, reading club, book event things over the last few years which have been fun. I did a beginners running course as well, and some swimming, but that was more self-care and I wouldn't attach the word 'fun' to those things too readily lol.
Ultimately all we need to do is get through one day at a time (or one hour at a time on tricky days). That means not letting our mind waft off onto past regrets or into the unknown future, because we can't do anything about either of those at that moment. Our power is in the now. That is where our actions make a difference.
Keep going.
As well as AA and getting involved in my new church, one great way of getting to know others in my own new local community was through volunteering. Not necessarily ongoing commitments as my work keeps me very busy, but silly stuff... Marshalling at running events (I don't actually run in these but it's nice if I can free a club member up to run themselves), helping on the ticket gate on bonfire night, chief donkey-pacifier at the Living Nativity even, serving food at the Cathedral on Christmas Day at their meal for people who'd otherwise be alone for Christmas or not be able to buy a dinner.... it's meant I've met people I wouldn't have done and have actually had good fun.
There are some great threads on here about hobbies and activities people have done, so those could be worth a looksie. If I can find any of them I'll post the link to them on here for you. I started off by thinking back to things I enjoyed before drinking took over, so have had some tap dancing, choir, art, reading club, book event things over the last few years which have been fun. I did a beginners running course as well, and some swimming, but that was more self-care and I wouldn't attach the word 'fun' to those things too readily lol.
Ultimately all we need to do is get through one day at a time (or one hour at a time on tricky days). That means not letting our mind waft off onto past regrets or into the unknown future, because we can't do anything about either of those at that moment. Our power is in the now. That is where our actions make a difference.
Keep going.
howd the call to the AA hotline go?
looks like youre very fortunate to have a variety of meetings every day of the week and at varying times:
Search Results | Sioux Falls AA Intergroup
looks like youre very fortunate to have a variety of meetings every day of the week and at varying times:
Search Results | Sioux Falls AA Intergroup
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Sioux Falls SD
Posts: 20
I am so disappointed in myself. I drank and really went on a severe bing. I am not even sure how I came out of this one but I really can't even remember the past two days. I drank two 1.75 liter bottles in less then 48 hours. I don't get why I keep putting myself through this. The drinking isn't even enjoyable anymore. I can't keep living like this. I am in a pretty scary spot emotionally right now and I have no clue what to do
The fact that you are here is good - there is a lot of support right here on SR pretty much 24/7. A lot of us felt like we didn't know what to do...but sometimes it's really more about us being unwilling to get the help we already know is out there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Sioux Falls SD
Posts: 20
It's actually going a lot better then it should be or that I expected it would be. I work graves and got some more rest. I woke feeling pretty clear headed which is odd considering how bad this binge was.
I am just getting ready to head to work for the evening and am feeling pretty blessed to have made it through this last one. My body is not going to let me keep doing this..
Life is so much better waking without a hangover and not having to wonder where the last 12 hours went or what I did/said.
Thank you to everyone for your suggestions and comments/concern. I am going to a meeting in the morning after work with a woman from the local AA hotline.
I am just getting ready to head to work for the evening and am feeling pretty blessed to have made it through this last one. My body is not going to let me keep doing this..
Life is so much better waking without a hangover and not having to wonder where the last 12 hours went or what I did/said.
Thank you to everyone for your suggestions and comments/concern. I am going to a meeting in the morning after work with a woman from the local AA hotline.
Posting on SR a few days ago for your first time, sharing your story to us, picking up the phone and calling the hotline and found someone to take you /go to a meeting with you tells me you're willing..
Willingness in recovery is HUGE!! Willingness, Honesty, Open-Minded, teachable.. extreamly important early on!!
I'm very involved in AA too. It saved my life. I hop you have a great meeting and meet a lot of nice folks.. please let us know how it goes!!
You can do this friend!! Wishing you the best!!!!
Willingness in recovery is HUGE!! Willingness, Honesty, Open-Minded, teachable.. extreamly important early on!!
I'm very involved in AA too. It saved my life. I hop you have a great meeting and meet a lot of nice folks.. please let us know how it goes!!
You can do this friend!! Wishing you the best!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 48
Don't fret about a relapse or two. As Dave42001 pointed out, the very fact that you've posted here, and continue to post, means you've crossed an important, and rather hard barrier; the desire to change.
Continue to post, talk to the lady at AA, and always try to keep in your head that notion of wanting to change.
Few, if any alcoholics, have the goldilocks recovery of waking up one day, deciding to quit and never having another drink in their lives. That recovery is reserved for the world of Hollywood fiction
It's an addictive drug that gets into your head, and the chemistry of your body. It's not easy, don't ever think it is, it'll take work, commitment and at times failures along the way to recovery.
Continue to post, talk to the lady at AA, and always try to keep in your head that notion of wanting to change.
Few, if any alcoholics, have the goldilocks recovery of waking up one day, deciding to quit and never having another drink in their lives. That recovery is reserved for the world of Hollywood fiction
It's an addictive drug that gets into your head, and the chemistry of your body. It's not easy, don't ever think it is, it'll take work, commitment and at times failures along the way to recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Sioux Falls SD
Posts: 20
Wanted to stop in and say thank you to everyone and for your advice. Still sober today and once again getting ready to head out to work. I met with the woman from the hotline and then went to two meetings. I am focusing on just staying sober and present in the moment. Hoping to find a sponsor and get back on track. These next 3 weekends we have some local AA events going on so that will be something I am definitely going to be at since I don't work weekends and I need to be around good supportive people who are struggling just like I am.
I am still physically feeling pretty good which again I have no clue why but I am going to consider it a blessing and run with it.
Hope everyone is having a great week thus far.
I am still physically feeling pretty good which again I have no clue why but I am going to consider it a blessing and run with it.
Hope everyone is having a great week thus far.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 48
Sounds like you're getting on top of this, glad the support is coming together. Keep posting on your progress.
It's good for all of us to hear other's, and to share our own struggles and success' as we battle this alcohol monster
It's good for all of us to hear other's, and to share our own struggles and success' as we battle this alcohol monster
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,822
Far from fiction, that in essence is what quitting is. The point is getting to that 'day'. Lots and lots of drinkers have gotten to that day and beyond. The trick is getting there, if you find yourself doing what you think will get you there and but it doesn't, it's time re-examine what you think is going to get you there. The biggest thing to re-examine is the idea that you can't. That's a fiction, you can.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Sioux Falls SD
Posts: 20
Thank you everyone...I am hanging in there but today is rough. I did get a counselor who I start seeing next week and I am actively seeking a sponsor. Going to spend most of tomorrow with my butt planted in meetings and maybe go to the zoo. I need to find things to do...drinking was my life apparently
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