Sand bagging (Why do we do it)
 

I've known I'm an alcoholic for 10 years, but I'm a binge drinker not a constant drinker. I went to a social professional event. I show up and there is 20 bottles of wine. I hand't drank in a week, but felt pressured to partake. I only drank two half glasses then excused myself. If I was by myself I'd drink everything dry. Why do we sandbag? Have you done it?

Why? Simply put I like to get f-up up.

I could be having a great day or maybe not. I could be bored. Doesn't really matter. I like to get loaded.

Problem is my drinking and /or pot smoking became problematic over time.

Best I avoid the drink along with the dope. I realize most people can control such vices but unfortunately this doesn't include me.e

When I was drinking, I had no problem heading out to a craft brewery or bar with friends after work, throwing back one or two, and having a pleasant time.

Then....hitting the liquor store on the way home and getting annihilated at home, by myself. I got away with telling friends that I was "cutting back" my drinking so I would look responsible. And at the time, I thought I *was* being responsible, by doing my "power drinking" alone at home, not driving drunk, not interacting with anyone while hammered. It was all a sham of course, because I was doing my health no favors, but it perpetuated my delusions of being a "functioning alcoholic."

"Why do we sandbag? Have you done it?"
yup, i did it. when i crossed the line into full blown alcoholism, i lost the power of choice in how much i drank. depending on the crowd i was a round if i was out, id only have a couple and just like Desertdawg- hit the store on the way home.
there were times when i did that it was as simple as i didnt want others to see how bad the problem was. deep down in i was ashamed of it, yet couldnt stop it, but didnt want others to know or see.
then there were other times- times at the bar with friends and rounds of drinks would be bought by each of us. welp, i was a self centered little ***** and didnt want to go buying a round. i wanted to use that money to buy my own alcohol.

Same here. Although pot makes me feel like I'm out of my mind in a bad way, so I have no urge, desire, or need to touch it.

Alcohol on the other hand...

I always, always, ALWAYS interacted with people when I was drunk via social media or text messaging. And it was NOT pretty when I came to.

I did the same thing for 2 reasons. I didn't want to get caught drunk driving and I didn't want to be a drunken fool in public.

I always just sat home drunk, wallowing in my self pity.

I also would do the same in social events to force myself to keep my composure by just having a couple, but I also pre-planned to make sure as hell to have a stocked fridge at home waiting for me to get blitzed the second I walked in the door.

I did the same...2 or 3 "casual" beers with the regular crew every night on the way home, but then the heavy drinking commenced. Why? Because I'm an alcoholic and what's what I did.

I did the SAME thing too! Drink socially for work functions, knowing I had a bottle hidden in my purse or the hotel room. The drink or two were actually probably triple that between "bathroom breaks" and calling it an "early night" so I could drink myself into oblivion by myself.

Yep. I would have a few before, 1-2 at the event, and then drink myself into oblivion when I got home. Why? Because when I have one drink it sets off an insane craving over which I have no control....

This is me (minus the purse since I'm a male). I always felt so smooth when I would be one of the first to say, "well, that's enough for me, I'm off to bed." Then go upstairs to my hotel room and drink red wine until I passed out with the lights on.

Yup, I did the same, sounds pretty common here. No worries about drunk driving, no making a fool of myself in front of friends or co-workers, no one thinking I was an alcoholic, but once I got started at the bar or restaurant, I'd keep going by myself at home. I'd even look forward to it while I was out, let's get this over with so I can get home and really start drinking. It's soooo nice to be done with all that crazyness. :)

That's exactly how I am.

This has stuck with me. Often I've thought about my life. Stayed awake at night. Had conversations with friends. Tried to find out why I drank. You gave me the simplest explanation. There is reason. I'm an alcoholic. And that's what I do.

I used to do this - it's why I'm here. My job puts pressure on me to act appropriately, misbehavior is not tolerated. Behind closed doors there was no judgment. I could "relax" and "be myself" within the 4 walls of my own home.

Indeed, I did this too.

I too had the rule of thumb of no more than two if I was driving. If I could limit myself to one per hour I could stay out a bit longer and maybe have one more BUT it was paiiiiiiiiiiinful taking those tiny little sips.

I have a STRONG word of caution for everyone who posted the two drink rule. Especially to those who are bingers and even moreso if you've ever experienced a blackout. You have no idea what you've done to your body and at any given time, the way it reacts to alcohol can change and I am true testimony to this. On Mothers Day of last year I met up with a friend. I had two drinks. Two. To this day when I tell people this story they look at me sideways with the "yeah, sure, right" look, I am not kidding, that's all that I had. I left and when driving home went into a blackout. There was an accident. I woke up in jail. Two drinks.

At any given time, due to the progressiveness of alcoholism, how your body handles alcohol can change and it can happen at any given moment.

I drank only on weekends, and sometimes not even every weekend. Sometimes I even skipped two weekends. But, when I got a hold of alcohol I would drink until completely annihilated. About 80% of the time this would end up in a blackout.

So, it doesn't matter if you're a daily drinker or not. This progresses and how your body reacts is not something you can be sure of or calculate anymore. Remember that the next time you turn the key. When I got in my car I was fine. I had a very slight glow. Evidently I experienced some kind of spike at the most inopportune moment. At a tremendous cost.

I thought I was being safe. I thought that two drinks in two hours was fine. Don't play the game, eventually, you're going to lose. There is no safety for us in any amount of alcohol and operating a vehicle. Ever.