ScottFromWI

Most people don't understand alcoholism/addiction either. Why would someone keep drinking until they ruined their health, life, and family?

I think the most important lesson in this whole discussion is acceptance. It's impossible to explain why some people are addicts and some are not, but it is possible to accept our addiction for what it is and live with it. And it's also possible to co-exist with people who are not addicts.

Mountainmanbob

My wife pours ((one glass)) of wine for herself each evening after work.
When I do the dishes the next morning I usually pour out 1/4 of her glass.
I don't understand it but, I'm a drunk.

M-Bob

kevlarsjal

Well, yes and no. It doesn't matter when it comes to my own sobriety, that definitely doesn't have anything to do with how much others drink or don't drink.

Yes in the way that when I read that article I thought that I don't know a single person amongst my family and friends that drinks that way. They are either complete nondrinkers or drink 2-3 glasses every night plus maybe more on the weekends (which is already too much according to the article that says our health system recommends to have at least 2 alcohol free days per week) or they only drink when they go out to party or when there's special occasions like weddings but then they will have several glasses. Not until they black out but until they're visibly drunk.

So I thought this guideline seemed to not make much sense. They could just as well say "don't drink at all".

Cause there would never be a guideline saying smoking 1-2 cigarettes per day is okay but no more than that please. No one would ever do that right? Either you're a smoker and you smoke more or you don't smoke at all.


Also from my own experience I can (or could at least) only have 1 with dinner once a week but I absolutely hated it. When I drank that rarely I couldn't handle the strong taste and I didn't like how alcohol made me feel totally ****, confused and tired a couple hours after I drank 1 glass. It wasn't that I was craving more either. It was just not enjoyable in any way.

So if I wanted to be able to enjoy drinking I'd have to do it regularly, drinking 2-3 glasses at least every other night but then I always had problems keeping it at that level (which was already too much according to the guidelines anyway). I quickly felt like I needed a drink in the mornings and that's how it always went with my drinking. Either I didn't drink or I drank too much too regularly.

But my question wasn't to compare my drinking or understand "normal" drinkers drinking. It was pure curiosity cause I never see any of them.

Nonsensical

I married one and put a daughter in her that seems to be another. They will open a bottle of wine, each have a glass, then put it away for another day. I still furrow my brow and shake my head when I see this. It makes no sense to me.

ljc267

Absolutely, my wife may drink 5 times a year. When she does she may have 3 and that's a max. She never understood why I used to drink they was I did.

Carlito61

There were many times that I would have one beer, sometimes two, at a pub or at someone's house. Then I would be home a few hours later and have my usual pint of bourbon and a few more beers.

Ken33xx

Yes, they exist. My wife is one such drinker. So are a lot of my co-workers. I've rarely seen any of them get out of control at work-related functions.

One of the first things I realized in sobriety is that most people can and do drink responsibly.

But then I never really noticed how much others drank back in the day because I was to busy getting loaded.

RapidMan

I think the reality is that most of humanity can drink in moderation, a drink with friends or with dinner.
The problem is you(we) see it through the lens of an alcoholic's brain, where drink is not a social pleasure, it's a need, or to put it more bluntly an addiction. So the notion that anyone can, or would even want to drink like that just doesn't compute to us; whats the point of one drink when you can drink the whole bottle, tends to be what our neurons tell us.

Thats the sad truth for us, that we're not like them, and I'm past the idea that I can cure myself to be like them.

Makes me sad and jealous all at the same time.

SoberTyger

My mom is like that. Atspecial occations she will have one or maybe 2 at most, glasses of wine with a good dinner, but nothing more. But I know what you mean.
The majority of people I know who drink - even the ones who never had serious problems with alcoholism, will drink more, and I often heard people jokingly say that there is no such thing as one beer - either you stay sober that day, or you drink more beers - not necessarily to get wasted and black out like I did, but most people I know will drink a handful of beers or glasses of wine, if they do drink.
Before I quit drinking when I visited my parents they would some times open a bottle of wine for a saturday dinner, and usually a bottle would last for 2 glasses of wine to each of us, and I hated it becuase I would definately have a strong urge to drink more, and if I happened to have some alcohol with me I would drink it after dinner.

mystified

I've heard there's folks who leave half a glass of wine or beer (or whatever) because they've 'had enough'.

I am not one of them or I wouldn't be here.

JSerra

If it was one of the 1 or 2 out of 10 times when I did have a beer or two, and somebody asked me if I drank that day, I would have said, "No". Not because I would have been hiding my drinking, but because I never considered 1 or 2 drinks to be drinking. That's my irrational brain for you.

LayEDla

They do exist. My husband will pour one glass and then waste half of his second glass because he's just done.

feldknocker

Not only could I not be a 1-2 person, I had to fight like hell to not chug the first few drinks. When I see a glass of red wine on the table (for someone else), I sometimes chuckle to myself as I watch them sip. I think, "If that were mine, I would throw that sonovabitch back in one ferocious gulp".

Wholesome

Wait a minute. What? Then what are you doing on a recovery site if you can have one glass a month and then leave it alone?

Wholesome

For myself as soon as it enters my system I'm fired up and ready to go go go!

My bf can just have a few and leave it alone, used to drive me nuts when he would say to me that I should do the same. One or two would leave me in a state of agitation.

kevlarsjal

There aren't exclusively addicts in these forums but also their partners, friends and family. I know this isn't posted in the friends and family section but in alcoholism but since this question isn't exclusively directed at alcoholis, I think it's more than okay for non alcoholics to answer.

gregknight

IMHO, most people who drink do so within reason. I've never thought about alcohol as being an evil or dangerous substance...just the misuse of it. I've also experience cultures where having a few drinks every single day for 90+% of the population, is quite normal and considered healthy; France, Italy, Spain, etc.

I sadly, am not among them. Though it's exact origins are not entirely known, I am an alcoholic and will be to the day I die. For the small percentage of us who are, using alcohol is a life or death issue. It's like people who can die from eating a single nut. For most people, it's a delicious and beneficial treat. For a small number, it is fatal. I'm an alcoholic-nut-type person. Can't even touch the stuff. My two pennies...

Wholesome

Apologies I think I came across as snarkier than I intended. Of course not everyone on here is an alkie like me!

MachinistGuy

My parents drank, but in extreme moderation. Dad would have a half pint of beer now and again, mum would have a glass of brandy or similar at Christmas - and sometimes to 'settle her stomach' ( never understood that one, it does the opposite to me )
I doubt they got through the recommended weekly maximum in a whole year....

ThatWasTheOldMe

I was a 1 or 2 type of drinker.

1 or 2 pints... of whiskey...